


Always a Bad Idea

by Pixelatrix



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2017-12-25 03:12:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 50,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixelatrix/pseuds/Pixelatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I like you.” He repeated the words that he’d said to her the last time that they’d been in the same room together.</p><p>“I can never tell if that’s actually a good thing.” She held her hand out. “Can I have my hat?  It’s freezing in here.”</p><p>Fem Shep & Zaeed pairing.<br/>Shepard in this is: Spacer, Infiltrator Class<br/>Slight Spoilers for ME1, ME2 & ME3. Rated Language & Smut</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am Au'ing the timeline and a couple small details a little for this, so sorry. lol.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly.

Harper Shepard had a month left in her two month holiday to enjoy.  Her second year at the Academy was starting at the end of the month.  She’d spent her vacation in a little vintage in the south of Spain.  One of her dad’s old military buddies, a medic, lived outside of the town.   She had spent her vacation enjoying the country and volunteering at his clinic.

She yanked the light blue knit cap off of her head.  It was too damn warm to wear the stupid thing anyway.  Running a hand through her blonde hair, she glanced at the tips. It was almost time to dye and cut it again.  She usually kept it relatively short and dyed the ends a combination of orange and red.  Her dad always complained that it made her head look like it was on fire.

Shoving the hat in the back pocket of her jeans, she continued walking to her skycar.  She’d spent the night dancing and was on her way to her hotel when sounds of gunshots caught her attention.  Sneaking between two buildings, she glanced around a corner to find a man on the ground with a group of Blue Suns standing over him.

Unarmed, Harper wasn’t much of a match for a group of mercenaries.   She needed a diversion.  She used incinerate to set fire to several nearby dumpsters to draw local law enforcement. The sirens spooked the mercs who left their victim on the ground to die.

Harper waited until they’d gone and snuck over to apply medi-gel to his wounds.  He needed a hospital but they would have questions that she didn’t think he would want to answer.  She managed to get him into her skycar and drove him out of town to the clinic.

He was out of it for the next two weeks, Harper helped nurse him back to health.  He would have a massive scar across his face, but the doctors had managed to save his life and his sight.  She moved him from the clinic to a hospital in another town, just in case the Blue Suns started asking questions.  She’d used a fair portion of her savings to pay for the clinic fees and the room at the hotel.

“You were in the goddamn alley.” He still had a patch over one eye, but the other green eye watched her as she came into the room.

“I was.” She perched on the side of the bed ignoring his frown. “I’m Harper, Harper Shepard.”

“You’re a stupid bloody idiot if you took on Vido.” He glanced around the room. “I’d kill for a fucking smoke.”

“I didn’t take them on, I distracted them. Do you have a name?” Harper pulled a pack of cigarettes and an old school lighter out of her pocket. “I found this in your shirt pocket.”

“You went through my things.” The eye that she could see narrowed.

“No, well, your shirt because they had to cut it off of you.” She held the items out to him. “Sorry.”

“Name’s Zaeed Massani.” His expression softened as he took his cigarettes and lighter from her. “Where are we?”

“Hotel, a few towns over.” Harper gestured towards a bag that she’d left on the couch. “Clothes, weapons and a credit chit. It should be enough to get you wherever you want to go when you’re ready.”

“Why the fuck are you doing this?” He asked with what clearly sounded like suspicion in his voice.

“They were holding you down. _Cowards._ ” Harper’s fingers picked at a loose thread on her t-shirt.

“Stupid girl.”

“Probably.” Harper couldn’t really disagree with him. “I’m leaving tomorrow.  I have to get back to the Academy.”

“And?”

“Nothing,” she shrugged with a sigh. “I wanted to give you back your stuff.”

“Hey.”

Harper found her wrist captured by a strong, calloused hand. “Yes?”

“How old are you?”

Harper stared at him in confusion. “Nineteen. Why?”

“Hmm.” He let go of her arm. “I’ll be in touch.”

“Why?”

“I like you.” He pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. “Harper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harper’s Face reference: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/image/59717314645


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly.

_Two years later…_

Harper was on a transport headed for Terra Nova.  It was her first _real_ Alliance posting.  She pulled the black slouchy knit cap further down on her head.  It was freezing.  She wished that she’d brought her camo jacket with her instead of shoving it into her bag that was now out of reach for the rest of the trip.

She jammed her hands into the pocket of her cargo pants.  She leaned her head against the seat and closed her eyes.  She opened them a moment later when someone sat beside her and bumped their arm hard against hers.

“Harper.”

“Zaeed?” She glanced out him out of the corner of her eye.  He looked better than when she’d seen him last…much better.  They’d spoken frequently since she’d left Spain, but never in person. “Are you going to Terra Nova?”

He raised an eyebrow at her and then gestured around the transport.

“Stupid question.” She rested her head on the seat again and pulled her hat down over her eyes.

“How long are you going to be on Terra Nova?” Zaeed yanked her hat off of her head after a moment.

She frowned down at his hand then back up at him. “The assignments for a year, then who knows?”

“Good.”

“Good?” She reached out for her hat but he batted her fingers away.

“I like you.” He repeated the words that he’d said to her the last time that they’d been in the same room together.

“I can never tell if that’s actually a good thing.” She held her hand out. “Can I have my hat?  It’s freezing in here.”

He shoved her hat into the pocket of his jeans despite her protest and stood up to pull off the leather jacket that he was wearing.  She was too distracted by the way the jeans and black t-shirt looked on him to notice that he was holding his coat out to her. He chuckled as he shook it in front of her. With a roll of her eyes, she took it from him and slid her arms into it.

“Thanks,” she muttered.  She drew the jacket around her and tried not to think about how good it smelled.  It was a mixture of cigarettes, scotch, gun powder and manly musk with just a hint of whatever soap he usually used.  It was damn near enough to get drunk on.   She looked up to find amused mismatched eyes watching her. “Shut up. Whatever you are thinking just shut up.”

“I’m more interested in what you are thinking.” Zaeed leaned across her to slowly zip up the jacket.  He twisted so his lips hovered over hers as his fingers held the zipper just above her cleavage. He moved back into his seat and she felt like she could breathe again.

Harper’s total experience with men included one unfortunate incident of making out in the barrack’s shower at basic.  He’d been a terrible kisser and she’d had to put a knee in his groin when he’d threatened to tell everyone if she didn’t sleep with him. 

The only other kissing that she’d done had been with the son of her dad’s friends.  It had been awkward and sweet. Zaeed was not awkward…and not likely to be sweet.  She suddenly felt too warm for the jacket but removing it would probably make him laugh at her. _Damn it._ She wanted her hat back so she could at least hide from his gaze.

“Can I have my hat back now?” She stared firmly at the seat in front of her.

“No.” He rested his hand on her knee. “You’ll just try to hide from me.”

“It’s called sleeping.” She held her hand out and gave him an annoyed look. “The hat.”

“No.”

 “Fine.” She shifted around in the seat until she was relatively comfortable enough that she could try to drift off. He elbowed her repeatedly in the arm. “What do you want?”

“Lean this way, my arm makes a better pillow.” He patted his left arm.

She stared first at his arm and then up at him. “A pillow?”

Zaeed grabbed the top of her head with his other hand and pulled her over until she was resting against him. “When’s your new assignment start?”

“Two weeks.”

“Plenty of fucking time,” Zaeed said cryptically.

“For what?” Harper twisted her head around to look up at him. He simply closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.  She rolled her eyes and leaned against him again. “Jackass.”

The flight went by much faster than she had anticipated, mostly because she ended up sleeping through the first few hours.   She never did get her hat back from him.  He told her he’d give it back to her after he took her out for dinner. 

Harper wasn’t quite certain how she found herself backed against the wall in _his_ hotel room.  His mouth moved over her breast while his fingers started to undo her pants.  Somewhere between dinner and drinks at the bar in the hotel lobby, it had turned from subtle flirting to overt seduction. 

_Fast._

_This was going too fast._

“Zaeed.” She whimpered as his fingers grazed over the top of her underwear. “I…I’ve never…”

His movements stopped instantly. “Never?”

“Never.” She ran a shaking hand through her hair. “Sorry.”

“Stupid bloody girl.” He groaned before starting to ease his hand out of her jeans.  She gripped his hand firmly in hers. “Harper?”

“I want to…” She dropped her head until her face was hidden in his shirt. “Please?

“Fuck.” He seemed to mull it over for a bit. “Not against a goddamn wall, not the first time at least.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly.

It had all started too fast for her, but now it appeared to have slowed down to almost nothing.  Zaeed led harper into the bedroom and eased her down on the bed.  He stretched out on his side next to her.  He’d made sure to find out if she’d had the standard birth control shot before they went any further.

He played with the fire colored tips of her hair.  “There’s no fucking going back.”

“No? Really?” Harper snickered at him.  Her blue eyes sparkled with pure amusement. “I _am_ well aware of that fact, Zaeed.”

“It will hurt.” Zaeed stopped toying with her hair and skimmed rough fingers along her jawline. “But I plan on making it feel _all_ better.”

“Should I be asking if _you’re_ sure?” She laughed when he flicked her earlobe.  The laughter turned into a quiet gasp when his fingers were replaced by his tongue.

Harper had expected him to continue in the same manner as he had earlier.  His fingers drifted leisurely from her jaw along her neck and down her sides.  He moved his hand under her t-shirt. 

The slow build up was wonderful and pure agony at the same time.  Zaeed took his time in undressing her.  He kept his lips focused on her neck, ears and mouth.  His fingers meanwhile skimmed across her entire upper body after he’d removed her bra and t-shirt.

“Zaeed.” She squirmed under his touch.

He had one leg draped over hers. His hands remained annoyingly above her beltline.  She warped her fingers around his wrist and moved it down to the top of her jeans.  With a deep chuckle, he took the hint to undo the button and zipper.  He eased her jeans down her legs. His fingers trailed slowly back up the inside of her left leg.  He pushed them apart and shifted over her between them.

Harper had _thought_ that his touch was driving her crazy.It was nothing compared to his tongue drifting lightly over her.  She lifted her hips up off the bed wanting more.  He wrapped his arms around her legs to hold her still. His face pressed against her while his tongue explored her pussy.

Her fingers dug into the sheets. His hold on her thighs kept her stationary as he _thoroughly_ licked every inch of here.  His tongue grazed across her clit several times.  With each passing stroke, she felt as if fires were being stoked inside of her. He slowly brought her close to climax.  The moment that Harper was almost there, Zaeed moved up over her.  He quickly shed his jeans, boxers and t-shirt.  He paused to place a towel underneath them.

The view of his muscled, tattooed and scarred body was…overwhelming.  Harper wanted to touch and tasted every mark on him.  She lifted her fingers up to his chest but he batted it away immediately.

“Later.” He moved up over her. “It’s all about _you_ , right now.”

With one hand resting next to her head for leverage, Zaeed used the other to drag his cock across her multiple times.  She found herself lifting up to try to…she wasn’t sure what she was trying to do.   She’d never felt this out of control before.

“Please…I need,” Harper pleaded.

“You’re as ready as I can goddamn get you.” Zaeed teased her a little longer. “You’re goddamn dripping for me, Sweetheart.”

She couldn’t stop herself from trembling underneath him.  Zaeed slid his fingers into her hair.  He held her tightly as he thrust once into her.  He held himself still and rested his forehead against hers.  Harper felt momentarily frozen as he whispered for her to breathe.  The flash of pain had eased to a dull ache faster than she thought it would.

The moment that Harper started to relax, Zaeed gently began to rock in and out of her an inch or so at a time.  He licked the track of a stray tear on her cheek while he continued to mutter encouragement. 

He kept one hand holding her head and the other delved between their bodies. His fingers softly circled her clit.  He gradually picked up the pace.  He appeared to be watching her carefully for any signs that she was still in pain.

“Zaeed.” Harper lifted her hands to grip his shoulders.  Her fingers clenched tightly. “More…please. I can’t…”

“Easy, Sweetheart.” He continued an easy gliding motion as his fingers manipulated her clit. “Let it build. I’ll get you there.  So goddamn tight, beautiful.”

Leaning down to float his lips across hers, he again took his time building up the climax in Harper.  She was begging for it before he finally relented.  He started slamming his cock into her harder. She lifted her hips up to meet his thrusts. She thought he might be holding back until she’d reached her first orgasm. 

“Come for me, Harper,” he whispered against her lips. “I want to feel you.

Harper was too far gone to realize that the moans she heard were coming from her own mouth.  She clung to him as he drove into her pussy.  His fingers worked harder on her clit.  She shuddered underneath and it felt like her whole body tightened up as she came.  She wasn’t sure if it was her sounds or the way she moved against him but Zaeed followed her.

Her arms stayed around his neck long after the tremors in her body stopped. “Fuck.”

Zaeed eased his cock carefully out of her. “Well and truly.”

“Jackass,” Harper laughed against his neck.

He lifted her up and carried her into the shower, despite her protests that she could manage, to clean her up. He carefully toweled her off and set her on the couch.  She watched Zaeed with a faintly amused grin.

She was a little tender and would probably be more so in the morning.  He’d been more…tender…than she thought a man like him could be.  It had been a perfect first time.  The pain had passed faster than she thought it would.

Still deep in thought, she yelped in surprise when he picked her up and carried her back over to the bed. They lay side by side on the bed, their legs tangled together. His fingers tangled in her hair again to hold her head against his chest.

“Any goddamn regrets?” Zaeed asked.

“Sure. Can I have my virginity back?” Harper laughed. “No regrets at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As with all my stories, I am always open to smut prompts lol.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly.

_Four years later…_

Zaeed was hunting a bounty in the Terminus Systems when he heard about Torfan.  Lieutenant Harper Shepard had led her unit in clearing out the batarian raiders that used the moon for a base.  She’d wiped out every single one of them according to the ANN report.  The news didn’t provide any further details aside from the new nickname that the Lieutenant had earned.

_Harper?_

_The goddamn butcher of Torfan?_

That did _not_ sound like the Harper that he knew so well.  Zaeed sent her a message.  She didn’t respond to it.  She _always_ replied to him, usually fairly quickly.

_Fucking hell._

It took him a day to wrap up his bounty and another day to determine where the hell she’d gone.  She was holed up in the same hotel that he’d spent weeks in after Vido’s betrayal in Spain.  He knocked on the door but she didn’t answer.  With a sigh, he bypassed the lock and stepped into the room.

“Zaeed?” She looked up at him in surprise. 

He walked over to the window to open the curtains to let a little light in.  He turned around to get a better look at her.  She had a few scratches on her neck and arms.  She was still wearing her under-armor fatigues.  He noticed her omni-tool had been left on one of the side tables by the bed.  It appeared to be flashing and buzzing.

“Do you want to tell me about Torfan?” He crouched in front of her.

“Haven’t you heard already? I’m a callous killer who has no care or concern for the people under her command.” She sounded like she was quoting someone else’s words.

“You are _not_ a fucking callous killer, Harper.” Zaeed stretched his hand out to cup her cheek but she shoved him away and moved out of the chair.  He stood and followed her across the room. “What happened down there?”

“Major Kyle froze.” Harper glanced back at the confused frown on his face. “He was the commanding officer of my unit.  We were told to clean out the mercenaries on Torfan. We got there, lost a quarter of the squad and he just…froze.  He didn’t give any orders. He just stood there and stared at me like he’d forgotten how to be a damn marine. So I took charge. I did what were had been ordered to do, mid-way through, the Major came over the comm to tell us to leave no survivors. So we didn’t.  The trouble is everyone seems to think it was my decision.”

“Fucking batarians.” Zaeed raised his arms up in surrender when she glared at him. “So why are you in Spain?”

“Two months of shore-leave, after that a psyche eval and if I pass, I _might_ be fit for active duty.” She snorted with disgust evident in her voice.

“That doesn’t tell me why you’re in Spain, Sweetheart.” He dragged her into his arms, ignoring the muttered protests. “Why this fucking hotel?”

“Because I knew you’d find it,” she shrugged. “And I knew my parents wouldn’t.”

“And you’re avoiding your parents?” Zaeed asked.

“Hell yes.” Harper rested her head against his chest with a sigh. “Mom will spend her time wanting a categorized list of my injuries. Dad will want to know what went wrong.  I’m not ready to deal with them yet.”

“So what do you plan on doing for two months?” Zaeed had a few bounties to hunt down that couldn’t wait but he wasn’t going to _leave_ her alone.

“No clue,” Harper answered with another sigh, this one deeper than the last.

“Have you ever been to Illium?” He kept his voice casual.

“No.”

“Would you like to?” He smirked when she pulled her head back to look up at him. “I’ve got a _little business_ to take care of.”

“You always work alone, remember?” Her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“Why work alone when I could have a partner that comes in such a beautiful fucking package?” He trailed his fingers across one of her breasts. “It’ll be fun. And, I’ll give you half the bounty.”

“Half?”

“It’s more enough to buy you that set of armor that you were admiring on Elysium.” He was playing dirty and didn’t give a damn.

“It’s not a batarian, is it?” She was going to say yes, he could hear it in her voice.

“Nope.” Zaeed did have a few batarian contracts but they could wait.

“Sure, why not.” She slid her arms around his neck and leaned up for a kiss. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Fuck.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly.

“Do you _always_ maim your bounties?” Harper stared down at the turian on the ground whose leg certainly shouldn’t be bending the way that it was.

“You are a _terrible_ bounty hunter,” Zaeed grumbled at her for the _hundredth_ time.

“It’s a good thing that I’m not one then.” She squatted beside the injured _bounty_ to check the leg.

Zaeed dragged her away. “Our job is _only_ to secure him for transport.”

“So you broke his leg?”

“For fuck’s sake, Harper.” Zaeed glared at her and seemed even angrier when she grinned in response.

They were both distracted enough that they didn’t notice the turian raise his gun until he’d managed to shoot Harper in the leg.  Zaeed swung his rifle around to shot him in both arms.  He squatted beside Harper who was holding her hand against the wound.  He applied medi-gel after determining that the bullet had just grazed her.

“Maybe you should’ve broken his arm instead?” Harper grimaced as she tried to stand. “Or perhaps checked for weapons? Isn’t that like bounty hunting 101? Do you think they’ll revoke your badass hunter membership card?”

“Remind me next time that it’s _always_ a bad idea to bring you with me on a job.” Zaeed finished patching her up and moved over to secure the turian.

“Me? I caught him for you.” Harper straightened her clothes once she got to her feet.

_“Harper.”_

She looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Badass hunter membership card?” He remarked once the turian had been taken off of their hands.

“I bet you have one.” She dodged the hand that reached out for her. “I have to head to Arcturus in a couple of days.”

Zaeed stopped trying to grab her. “Why?”

“My dad’s ship is heading there for dry-dock for a few weeks.  He wants to spend some time with me.” Harper glanced down at her now blood stained armor.  

“He wants to make sure that you’re ok after Torfan.” Zaeed stepped into their waiting shuttle and headed towards the front. “We’ll have to get you that new armor.”

Harper sank down into one of the seats towards the back of the shuttle.  “I can get it on Arcturus.

“We haven’t talked about Torfan yet.” Zaeed glanced at her over his shoulder. “Move up.”

“I’m perfectly comfortable,” she retorted.

_“Harper.”_

She stripped out of her ruined armor and piled it on the floor.  She wandered over to sit next to him and get a better look at the healing wound on her leg.  “I don’t want to talk about Torfan. There’s nothing left to say about it.”

“There’s plenty left to say, you haven’t fucking said much at all.” Zaeed glanced over at her as he maneuvered through the traffic on Illium.  He guided them towards the docks where they could pick up transport out of the system.

“I have _no_ interest in talking about it ever again.” She moved out of the seat to the back of the shuttle again.  She gathered up her armor and pointedly ignored him.

After disposing of the ruined armor, Harper followed Zaeed to the transport that he’d booked to Arcturus. He was apparently going with her. _Wonderful._ Her dad was going to just _love_ her mercenary…friend. 

Zaeed didn’t press her for conversation until they were alone in the small, private cabin that he’d booked.  He pulled her down on the couch with him.  She shifted around to straddle his lap with her arms wrapped around his neck and her head on his shoulder.  He sighed when she wouldn’t lean back to look at him.

“Do you know what I joined the Alliance?” Harper’s question was almost inaudible.

“It’s the goddamn family business.” He chuckled at her when she nipped at his neck.

“No.  I had choices, plenty of them actually. I did _really_ well in school.  I joined because I wanted to save lives. That’s it.  I wanted to be the person that came into dangerous situations and helped everyone make it out alive.” She played with the hair on the back of his neck. “I didn’t save anyone on Torfan.  So many people died.  I had orders, and I’m a damn good soldier. I did my job, even when my CO turned tail and hid.”

“You didn’t have a bloody choice, Harper.” He gripped her shoulders and forced her back until he could see her face. “You didn’t _do_ anything wrong.”

“Tell that to the families of all the soldiers who died while we pressed forward.” She focused her gaze on her fingers that were resting at the base of his throat. “If you plan on actually spending time on Arcturus with me, don’t be surprised by what people say.  The _whispers_ will have already started.  I’m the _butcher of Torfan._ ”

Zaeed stood up and lifted her as he went.  He laid her on the couch and eased down next to her on his side. “You’re a goddamn marine who did her job. Fuck ‘em.”

“Yea.” Harper didn’t think that it was going to be that easy.  She’d spent most of her life on Alliance ships and around Alliance officers.  She twisted so she could move into his arms. “I’m meeting my dad at our favorite coffee shop.  Do….are you…shit.”

“Am I?”

“Do you want to meet my dad?” Harper wasn’t really sure what their _relationship_ status was.  They’d been sleeping together since the first time but she was never clear on what Zaeed really wanted from her, was it just sex? She didn’t have enough experience with men to get a read on him. “Is that weird? That’s weird.”

“Sweetheart.” He silenced her with his lips. “I’m not leaving you alone.  I haven’t had my way with you sufficiently.”

Harper twisted around to her other side so she was facing away from him.  She’d been trying so hard to avoid thinking about Torfan, about the friends that had died because of her orders.  She pressed her face into the couch cushion to hide the tears and muffle any sounds.  It didn’t work. 

“It’s ok, Sweetheart.” Zaeed shifted her back against his chest.  His arm wrapped tightly around her. “I’ve got you.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly.

“What _are_ you doing with my daughter?” Her dad grabbed Zaeed by the arm and dragged him out of the coffee shop. He hadn’t even bothered to say hello to her.  This was going to go _brilliantly._

Harper followed them with a bemused grin on her face. “I take it that you know each other.”

“I’m more interested in how the hell you know him.” He let go of Zaeed and turned towards her.

“That is…a little complex.” Harper played with one of the orange colored tips of her hair.

“Complex?” He crossed his arms and glared at her.  Her mother would’ve been _so_ proud considering the fact that her dad usually caved almost immediately whenever it involved her. “I am _confident_ that I can keep up. Try me.”

“No.”

“Harper.” He grabbed her arm this time and pulled her to the side.  He frowned at Zaeed when he followed them. “Do you mind?”

Zaeed leaned against the nearby wall with a smile that Harper noted didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Not at all.”

“Dad?” Harper drew his attention back to her.

“How the hell did you meet the leader of the fucking Blue Suns?” He had a look in his eyes that told her that he wasn’t going to let it go.

“Well, technically, he’s not part of the Suns anymore.  And we met during my break from the Academy, that year that I went to Spain to work in the clinic.” She smiled at the memory before turning serious. “He’s become…it doesn’t matter.  How do you know him?”

“We were in the Alliance together, before he got himself dishonorably discharged,” he said caustically. “What _exactly_ has he become?”

Harper still wasn’t sure how to answer that question for herself, let alone her damn father. “It doesn’t matter. You wanted me to meet you on Arcturus.  I am _meeting_ you on Arcturus.  What was so damn important that I couldn’t continue hiding?”

“You’re a Shepard, we don’t hide.” He dragged her into a hug.  She had a feeling that he was still glaring at Zeaed over her head.

“Says who?” She remarked when he’d let her go.

“You don’t have…”

“You’re a decorated veteran, mom’s just as accomplished. So please don’t tell me that you know how it feels to be this _infamous_.  I killed a lot of batarians, and lost half of my squad at least.  Please don’t try to pretend that you understand how I’m feeling.  I hear the whispers; I know what they’ve started to call me.” Harper shoved her hands into her pockets to keep from punching something or someone.  With a heavy sigh, she pushed away from her dad and went back into the restaurant to get her coffee.

Zaeed stopped him from following her. “Give her time.”

“The fuck do you know about it. That’s my daughter, and I’ll thank you to remove your damn hand from my arm.” He shoved Zaeed away.

“Fine,” Zaeed shrugged.  He spun on his heel and headed after Harper.

Harper was mid-argument with the family of one of her squad when Zaeed and her dad found her.  She was holding on to the last shreds of her temper as they accused her of everything from being a murdered to a traitor.  The brother seemed to be trying to drag the parents away, but Harper just stood there letting them rail at her. She had broad enough shoulders to take their guilt.

It was Zaeed who intervened. With a strong hand on her shoulder, he guided her out the door and away from prying eyes.  Her dad followed on his heels.  Another set of boots caught her attention, she glanced back to find _Admiral Hackett_ walking beside her dad.

“Come on, my office.” Hackett finished whispering with him and stepped up his pace so he could lead them through the crowd that had gathered during the _argument._ He handed her a datapad once they were all in his office. “I’ve got your orders, Shepard.”

Harper stared down at the orders in confusion. “I haven’t even passed the psyche eval yet.”

“Unnecessary.” Hackett frowned over at Zaeed. “Massani? What the…never mind, it’s not important.  Major Kyle gave a full report on what happened on Torfan.  It’s too late to stop the rumor mill from churning, but you should never have been taken off of active duty.”

“Wait a minute, this says Rio.” Harper looked up at Hackett then at her dad who took the datapad out of her hand. “ _Vila Militar?_ _That’s…damn.”_

_“Welcome to N-school, Lieutenant.” Hackett held out his hand to shake hers. “You did a good job under difficult circumstances on Torfan.  Unlike some in the Alliance, I understand from first-hand experience what you’re going through. My door is open anytime that you need to talk.”_

_“She doesn’t need_ _to talk_ to you,” Zaeed muttered.

Harper sunk down on the couch in the office and started to laugh. This whole damn day was beginning to seem like a surreal, farce of a dream.  “I should’ve stayed in Spain.”

It wasn’t until much later when she was relaxing in her parents’ apartment, her dad had decided to remain in his quarters on his ship, that she remembered what Zaeed had said.  She leaned up on her elbows to glare at him.

“What?”

“What the hell were you muttering to Hackett about my _not_ needing to talk to him? He was just being nice.” Harper poked him in the side.

Zaeed grabbed her by the arms and flipped her around so that she was underneath him.  He shifted down so their bodies were aligned.  He chuckled darkly when she inhaled at the contact. His cock was already hard as he pressed against her. “Men like that _aren’t_ just nice, I should know, I’m one.”

“Zaeed.” She was about to start to argue with him when he thrust up into her without warning.  Her fingers came up to grip his sides, digging in slightly. “Fuck.”

“That’s the goddamn idea.” He lowered himself until he was all the way inside of her. Their bodies flush against each other. “And for the fucking record, Sweetheart, this thing that we’re doing is a goddamn relationship.  I’m not just fucking you to fuck you.”

“Ohh.” She didn’t get anything else out.

He started to drag himself out of her and then slammed back in.  He repeated the movements again and again. Harper tried to match his rhythm but when he crushed his lips against hers.  She gave up and let him carry them both over the edge.  They were both drenched in sweat when he finally collapsed on her exhausted, both of them spent.

“What the fucking hell are you doing?”

Harper dragged a blanket up to cover both of them as she looked up to find her dad in the doorway. “Enjoying a post-coital cuddle?”

“ _Harper._ ”

“Dad, I’m grown. Get the fuck out of my bedroom.  You can yell at me in the morning over coffee. I’d like a moment alone with my…boyfriend.” She glared at him until he backed out of the room.  “Welcome to the _family._ ”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly.

“Do you think if we just stay in bed all day, he’ll go away eventually?” Harper stared at the closed bedroom door.  They could hear the obvious sounds of her dad banging around in the kitchen.

“No.”

“I guess it’s time to face the music.” Harper slid out from under the covers and began to dress.  She laughed when Zaeed dragged her back over to the bed. “Zaeed.”

He rubbed the sensitive skin on her neck with the stubble on his chin. “Wait for me.”

“Wait?” She frowned at him. “Since when do you _deal_ with parents?”

“Since he happens to be _your_ parent.” Zaeed kissed her hard once then got up to get dressed.  He caught the t-shirt that she tossed over to him. “I’m a grown man, Sweetheart. I’m not skulking out of here like I’ve deflowered a virgin.”

 _“Zaeed.”_ Harper covered her face with her hands.

“Well, fine, but I didn’t deflower you last night.” He ducked when she swung a pillow at him. “I won’t tell him that.”

“You better not. He might shoot your balls off.” Harper grabbed a clean t-shirt from the closet and pulled it on. “I need coffee.”

They sat awkwardly around the kitchen table muttering small talk into their toast for the first ten minutes.  Harper heaved an exaggerated sigh which drew the attention of both men.

“Ask.”

“Ask what?” Her dad gave her a not so convincing confused look.

“Dad.”

“How long have you two been…doing…together?” He didn’t look half as confident as her dad usually looked.

“Since she was first stationed on Terra Nova,” Zaeed answered and Harper was left to stare at him in stunned amazement.

“Harper?” Her dad snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Anything you’d like to say to that?”

“Not in front of you.” She crammed a piece of toast into her mouth.

“Are you planning on telling your mother?” He grinned at the horrified look that she sent his way.  He held his hands up when she threatened him with her fork. “Oh no, I’m not telling her a thing.  You’re on your own.”

“Thanks, dad. Love you too.” She kicked him under the table.

He smiled briefly before turning serious eyes towards Zaeed. “You are _not_ the man that I would choose to be spending intimate time around my only daughter.  If you hurt her, you won’t see me coming before it’s too late.”

“Dad.” Harper hadn’t thought she could get _more_ embarrassed.

Zaeed simply smiled at him in response. “Harper can take care of herself. Besides, I owe her my goddamn life, why would I hurt her?”

“You know, you’ve never told me why you went to Spain to work in the Clinic.” Her dad remarked casually.

Harper stood up suddenly, knocking her coffee over. “I have to go.”

Zaeed exchanged a concerned glance with her father before following her out of the room.  He found her shoving her clothes into her bag. “Harper?”

She ignored him and continued haphazardly throwing things into her bag.  She tossed it to the side with a disgusted sigh and sank down on the edge of the bed. “They don’t know why I went to Spain.”

“Ok?” He sounded _confused._

 _“_ My mother had an affair. I…was supposed to spend that break from the Academy at home, but I caught her…and I don’t think he knows.” Harper had come to the conclusion that she had too many damn secrets to keep, and none of them were hers to begin with.

“Shit.” He sat on the edge of the bed next to her. “So why are you packing?”

“I’m not ready to be on Arcturus.” She picked at her fingers until he covered both of her hands.

“You can’t let them see you sweat, Sweetheart.  You can’t let them know that they have that kind of goddamn power over you.” Zaeed held on to her hands when she tried to pull away. “You know, I haven’t been here in years. You should give me the grand fucking tour.  And I believe that I owe you new set of armor.”

_“Zaeed.”_

“Sweetheart?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “You can fucking hide, or you can say screw ‘em.  Are you a marine or not?”

“Harper.” Her father rapped his knuckled on the doorframe before stepping into the room.  He crouched down in front of her, frowning at the sight of the hands holding hers. Zaeed refused to be intimidated by the glare that was sent his way. “Two things that you should know.  I’ve read the report from Torfan. You did what you were trained to do, and I’m more proud than I can ever express. And second, I know what you saw that summer when you went home.  Your mother doesn’t know. But I do. And I’m sorry that you were put under that pressure.”

“Shit.” Harper pulled her hands away from Zaeed to take her dad’s hand. “Why?”

“She’s my wife.  I love her,” he sighed. “But that’s _not_ your burden to bear. You hear me, kid?”

“Yea, yea.” She gave him a mock two-fingered salute that he returned before pulling her up into a hug. “Are you ever going to tell her that you know?”

“Maybe.”

Harper glanced down at Zaeed who was trying to _appear_ like he wasn’t listening. “Ok. Stop embarrassing me, I have armor to buy.”

“Why do you need new armor?” Her dad stepped back and frowned at her and then at Zaeed.

“Training accident.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

It had started during her third N-school certification, the quiet mocking from a small group of the marines in the class.  ‘ _Stupid little pixie trying to be an N7.’ ‘Butcher of Torfan.’_ They’d carved it into her locker in the barracks.  She did what she always did, ignored the jackasses. 

The last day of the N3 course, she returned to find her armor had been destroyed.  With an exhausted sigh, she packed her bag to head for the transport that would take her back to the sanity and safety of Arcturus.  She left the ruined armor where it was.

_What a damn waste._

They waited for her outside of the Alliance compound.  She’d been expecting it.  They wouldn’t risk the instructors catching them.  Cowards always waited for their targets to be alone.  She took two of them down with the martial arts that she’d practiced since she was a kid.  One of them got a hold of her, and held her down while the others threw punches at her. 

A shotgun blast drew the attention of the four men surrounding her.

“Let _her_ go, _now._ ” Admiral Hackett tossed the shotgun to one of the N-school instructors. “I think you four should get used to bars.  You’re going to be spending quite a while in the brig.”

Harper stumbled away from the group.  She sat on a nearby wall with her bag at her feet.  She watched Hackett converse with her instructors.  He approached her when he’d finished.

“I haven’t seen you in a long time.” Hackett leaned down to pick up her bag. “Heading to Arcturus?”

“Yes, Sir.” She took her bag from him.

“Your dad’s out on a training mission. He was worried about you and asked me to see what was going on.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell your instructors?”

“Tell them what?” Harper asked sarcastically. “That the idiots in my class were calling me names.  They didn’t lie.  I _am_ the Butcher of Torfan.”

“You did your job.” He gave her what she assumed was supposed to be an encouraging smile.

“Sir?” She frowned when he took her bag again.

“Your dad asked me to see that you’re doing ok.” Hackett motioned for her to step into a waiting shuttle.

Harper dropped into one of the seats in the back of the shuttle. “The perfectly humiliating end to my N3 course.  _Daddy_ asked _Admiral Hackett_ to check up on me. Damn it.”

“Oh thanks for that.” He sat across from her. “Are you injured?”

“No,” she lied smoothly.

“Hmm.” He watched her for a moment. “The ring leader of that little group’s brother died on Torfan.”

“I know.” Harper stared at him with carefully blank eyes.

“You didn’t deserve what they did, Harper.” Hackett held her gaze. “Torfan was _not_ your fault.”

“I don’t want to talk about Torfan.” She snapped at him. _Shit._ She closed her eyes and took several calming breaths. “Sorry, Sir.”

“I remember when you were six years old.  Your father was serving as my XO.  He gave you a tour of the ship.  I asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up.  You told me that you wanted to be a marine.” Hackett smiled at the memory. “I laughed at you and said that you were too little.  Do you remember what you did?”

“Oh god.” Harper sunk lower into her chair with an embarrassed groan. “I snuck into your quarters when no one was looking and put a bunch of eggs into your pillowcase.  My dad still teases me about it.”

“You’re a damn fine marine.  Don’t let the idiots out there take that from you.” Hackett reached out to squeeze her hand.

“Yes, Sir.” She looked away and blinked rapidly until the threat of tears disappeared. “I never asked but…did you find the eggs before or after they cracked?”

“After.”

_Shit._

“I’d say I’m sorry, but my six year old self would never forgive me.” Harper cracked her first real smile in weeks.

“Why eggs?” Hackett asked.  “I’ve always wondered.”

“I thought you were accusing me of being a coward. So…I thought chickens…eggs. I was six, logic wasn’t my strong suit,” Harper shrugged.

Hackett escorted her to the transport headed to Arcturus and said his goodbyes.  She wondered if he planned to go back to deal with the four men that had attacked her.  She slept most of the way to Arcturus.  She checked her messages as they were pulling into port, nothing new.

* * *

_From: Zaeed_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: Silent._

_Where the bloody hell are you?_

_Haven’t heard a thing from you in months._

_Zaeed_

* * *

The message from Zaeed was a few weeks old.  With the stress of everything, she’d been avoiding him.  The last thing she needed was him coming to take care of her tormentors in person.   It was hard to avoid him when he banged on her door on Arcturus the next morning.

“Not so loud.” She grumbled when she let him in.

Zaeed grabbed her by the waist and she dropped to her knees immediately.  He followed her down to the floor. “Sweetheart?”

Harper shifted on her back and gasped for air.  She lifted her shit to show the massive bruises along her ribs and abdomen. “My N3 training didn’t go so well.”

“Why were you ignoring me?” Zaeed sat on the floor with his hand on her leg.

Harper avoided his gaze.  He caressed her leg gently and waited patiently for her.  Sitting up, she rested her cheek against the hand on her knee and her fingers gripped the front of his shirt tightly.  She told him what had been happening for the last few months.  He brought his other hand up to cover her fingers.

“Bastards.”

“Pretty much.” She forced herself to unclench her fingers. “I need armor, again.”

“I am not fucking shopping with you this time.” Zaeed laughed when she glared at him.

“Jackass.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Several months passed, Zaeed hadn’t heard a word from Harper.  She’d been on a mission with the second fleet.  But that had ended four weeks ago, she’d been sent to Arcturus after that.  He’d decided to _surprise_ her there. 

She was in one of the gyms going through some sort of martial arts routine.  He watched her from a dark corner of the room.  She moved gracefully across the mat through the various motions without realizing that she was being watched.

With a smirk, Zaeed followed her when she wrapped up what she was doing and headed into the locker room.  It was late enough that the place appeared to be completely deserted.  His cock got uncomfortably hard inside his cargo pants as she undressed in front of him.

_He’d missed her._

_And not just for sex._

“Enjoying the show?” Harper threw a dirty sock over her shoulder at him. “I could have you arrested or something.”

“Or…something?” Zaeed moved around the benches until he was close enough to touch her. “I don’t like missing you, goddamn it.”

Harper turned around and he lost his train of thought completely.  She flushed a little at the way his eyes travelled over her body. “I’m going to shower.”

If she was showering, he would _have_ to join her.  She didn’t seem all that surprised when he stepped into the stall with her.  He took the soap out of her hand as he backed her up into a corner of the shower. 

“Zaeed.”

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He casually lathered up the soap in his hand and started on her shoulders.  He heard the hitch in her breath when he moved down to her breasts.  “Why is that sweetheart?”

“Busy.”

He loved the fact that it took her three damn tries to get the word out. “Busy, eh?”

“This is Lieutenant Andrews with Arcturus security.  You’ve got five minutes to get dressed or I’m coming in for you.”

Harper exchanged a pained glance with Zaeed.  They rinsed the soap off of their bodies quickly and dressed so they could face the over-zealous Lieutenant.

* * *

Harper reclined on her back on the bench inside the brig.  Her dad was _never_ going to let her live this down, written up for public nudity and bringing a non-Alliance person into restricted Alliance property.  She did point out that they weren’t in public and she hadn’t brought Zaeed anywhere. 

Zaeed had been _escorted_ to the docking bays to hop on a transport off of Arcturus.  Harper had been dragged to the brig to await her _official_ reprimand. She’d tried napping but the damn cell was freezing and her hair was still wet.

“Commander Shepard.” Hackett stepped into her cell.

_Oh great. Just great, the day hadn’t been humiliating enough._

“Sir.” She stood up and snapped a salute at him.

“Sex in the gym shower?” Hackett’s eyes twinkled with what looked like amusement.

“I decided that I wasn’t _infamous_ enough.” Harper shoved the hair out of her face to keep it from dripping in her eyes.  “What are you doing here?”

“I appear to be bailing you out.” Hackett had a better poker face than Zaeed, if that was possible.  She could never quite get a read on him.

“Why?” Harper followed him out of the brig with a slightly confused look on her face.

“Would you prefer to stay inside?” He stepped back to let her out of the security office ahead of him. 

“I’d _prefer_ to know why Admiral Hackett is so interested in me.” She knew she sounded ungrateful. “I appreciate it. But I’m not buying that you did this for my dad.”

“I didn’t.” Hackett seemed lost in thought before he focused his attention back on her. “Have a good afternoon, Commander.”

She watched him walk away, even more confused.  There was definitely something going on.  She waited until she got back to her quarters to send a message to her dad.

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: Hackett_

_Did you ask him to look out for me again or something?_

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: Hackett_

_No. I didn’t._

_Dad_

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: re: Hackett._

_Are you sure?_

_Cause you did that one time._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: Hackett._

_I haven’t asked him to do that, ever._

_And I am certainly not interested in talking about him any further._

_Dad_

* * *

Harper stared at the message from her dad. _Weird._ He never snapped at her, ever. Not even when she’d filled his favorite rifle with peanut butter.  She tried her mom next and received a similar, though less abrupt response.  She sent Zaeed a message to see if he could uncover anything.

Secrets in her family were never a good thing.  The last secret that they’d had involved her mom cheating on her dad. She frowned at her terminal. _No._ There was no fucking way her mom had been involved with…no.

The following morning, she received her _official_ assignment to the Normandy.  She was having breakfast in the cafeteria when Hackett joined her.  She started to salute him but he waved it away.

“Sir?” She dropped back into her seat.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Uhm. Sure.” Harper motioned to the empty seat across from her. She stared down at her coffee for a moment.  “Did my dad really ask you to check up on me during my N7 class?”

“Are you calling me a liar, Commander?” Hackett glanced up at her then turned casually back to his breakfast.

“I…” Harper ripped the napkin in her hand into tiny pieces. “I’m asking an honest question, Sir.”

“Hmm.” He didn’t bother looking away from his breakfast while he considered her answer. “I don’t think that’s the question that you want answered, is it?”

She sat quiet while he finished his breakfast.  He had a point.  She didn’t really care why he’d been there to stop the jerks that were bothering her.  His stood up abruptly and she glanced up to find that he was done already.

“Let me know if you figure out what the right question is.” Hackett was gone before she could think of a response.

_Enigmatic jackass._

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: Dinner_

_You missed the family dinner, again._

_Dad_

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: re: Dinner_

_When you two decide to treat me like an adult and tell me whatever the hell this big secret is, I’ll be there for dinner._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: big secret._

_There isn’t one._

_Stop acting like a brat._

_Dad_

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: My behavior._

_That is rich coming from you._

_Also, tell me or I’ll tell mom what happened to her favorite vase._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: vase._

_She already knows._

_Dad_

* * *

The _Normandy_ reached Eden Prime before Harper had a chance to respond to him.  She didn’t think about it again until much, much later.  She hadn’t really for seen the geth attack on the colony, finding a dead spectre, or saving Alenko from a prothean thing.  The last one had left her with a migraine that rivaled Kaidan’s.

“Captain?” She looked up to find Anderson standing behind her on the bridge as Joker docked on the Citadel.

“Admiral Hackett wanted me to make sure that you were really ok after the beacon.” Anderson pulled her away from the rest of the crew.

“Why?”

He raised an eyebrow at the sharpness of her question. “You’re going to have to ask him.”

“Great.” She turned to watch the Citadel come into view. “I am so _sick_ and _tired_ of people telling me to ask other people for answers.”

“I don’t follow.” Anderson’s raised eyebrow went a little higher.

“Never mind.” Harper headed over to talk to Joker.  She dropped into the co-pilot’s chair that Alenko had vacated a moment earlier.

“You ok, Shepard?”

“Drama of the confused variety,” she said wearily.

“And that is why I’m staying at my paygrade.” Joker focused his attention on docking the ship safely.

“That’s probably not the only reason.” Ash grinned at both of them.

“She has a point.” Harper tilted her head towards the pilot who chose to ignore both women.

The next couple of days were spent running from one ward on the Citadel to the next.  She’d managed to pick up a few _friends_ along the way.  She wasn’t entirely certain that Wrex fell into that category.  He’d been _helpful_ in dealing with Fisk in any case.  Now she paced in the embassy while Udina and Anderson questioned Tali more closely about her evidence.

The Spectre ceremony happened the following morning.  She hated all the pomp and circumstance.  She wanted a ship, and she wanted to drag Saren to justice.  She was talking with Tali and Ash after the ceremony when a familiar _pair_ caught her attention.

She raced down the steps two at a time to catch up with her parents who appeared to be mid-argument.  She glanced to the left to find Hackett conversing with Admiral Kahoku though his gaze seemed intently focused on her parents.

_Weird._

“Honey.” Her mom pulled her into a hug. “We’re so proud of you.”

Harper waved off the praise and gave her dad a hug as well. “What’s going on?”

“We don’t have much time.  We just wanted to tell you that we love you.” Her dad squeezed her tightly then let go.

She frowned at them both. “Seriously? What is with you guys lately?”

“Sorry, honey. We’ve got to get back to our ships.” Her mom gave her another quick hug and started towards the elevator.

Her dad messed up her hair and with a wink disappeared.  She watched him exchange a glance with Hackett before following her mother towards the elevator.   Ash wandered over to ask if she wanted to go for drinks.  Harper just shook her head and made her way towards Hackett.

_Someone was going to give her answers damn it._

“Not here.” Hackett cut her off before she could get a single word out.

“Sir?”

“This is not the time or the place to have the discussion that you want to have.” Hackett placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Come talk to me at my office in a day or two.”

She watched him walk away with a puzzled frown.

_What the hell was going on?_

The only thing that she could think of was that her mother had clearly had an affair with Hackett at some point.  So either her dad had found out and was furious with both of them.  It didn’t explain why Hackett was suddenly taken such a keen interest in her career.  Or why her parents were acting so damn bizarre.

She waited until she was back on the _Normandy_ and they were headed to Therum to send an email to her mother.  She had questions that needed to be answered.

* * *

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Artemis Tau_

_From: Harper_

_To: Mom_

_11:12 H: Did you have an affair with Hackett?_

_11:13 M: Harper_

_11:14 H: It’s not like I don’t know about the other times. Hell, I walked in on you once._

_11:15 M: Yes. I did._

_11:16 H: Recently?_

_11:17 M: No._

_11:18 H: When?_

_11:21 M: Honey._

_11:22 H: When?_

_11:23 M: It was a long time ago, before you were born._

_11:24 H: Before…how long before I was born?_

_11:26 M: I have to get back to work._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: Citadel or Arcturus?_

_Any chance you can head to either any time soon?_

_Harper_


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

The minute she’d secured Major Kyle for Fifth Fleet. Harper told Joker to head for Arcturus.  She needed to have a conversation with her father.  She found him in her parents’ apartment on the station.  She stormed in without bothering to say hello.

Her dad glanced up from the report he was reading. “Harper?”

“When did you know?” She stood with her hands on her hips.

“Know?”

“Dad.”

“Hackett came to see me after he slept with your mom.” Her dad gave her a pained look. “She’d left her ring at home and told him that we were separated.  The minute that he found out that wasn’t true, he told me what had happened.   Three weeks later, we found out that she was pregnant.  It was a fifty-fifty chance that you were mine.”

“Does _he_ know?” Harper asked.

“No.”

“So you lied to me, both of you.  And then to make matters worse, you didn’t even bother to tell Hackett that he might have a daughter?” She searched her father’s face and she felt a cold shiver up her spine.  “It’s not a might, is it?”

“We had a paternity test after you were born.” He buried his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, kid.  So very sorry.”

“Me too.” Harper spun on her heels and stormed back out of the apartment.

She wandered aimlessly around some of the shops on Arcturus and then found herself at Hackett’s office.  His yeoman ushered her inside after a moment.  He looked up at her in surprise.

“Commander Shepard?”

She fidgeted with sleeve of her shirt. “I…”

He stood up and motioned for her to take a sit.  He walked over to pour a drink for her.  “Here.”

She sipped the scotch and watched him sit back behind his desk again. “How long have you known?”

“You have a birthmark on the inside of your left elbow.” Hackett lifted his arm to roll his shirtsleeve up.  He held his arm up to show the similar mark on his own elbow.  “I saw it when you were six, and I knew then.”

“But…why?”

“You had a good family, a happy childhood.  I wasn’t about to ruin that for you.” Hackett leaned back in his chair. He rubbed his jaw while he seemed deep in thought. “It wouldn’t have been fair.  You have a father. I’m...just…Admiral Hackett.”

Harper gulped down the rest of the scotch and shoved the glass on his desk. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “I’ve always been proud of knowing that you were my daughter. I didn’t need anyone else to know it.”

She ducked her head to hide the blush. “You deserved to know… _officially_.”

“Maybe.” Hackett ran his fingers along the top of his desk. “I’ve seen families torn apart by custody battles and things like this.  You seemed so happy when you were six.  I…couldn’t do it.”

Harper wasn’t sure what to say in response.  “Why get involved now?”

“You’re an adult. And I found myself curious to know my…to know you,” he finished somewhat awkwardly.

“I’m going to...I should go.” Harper shot up to her feet.  She felt suddenly anxious to get a little distance between them. “Can I…”

“Anytime.” Hackett stepped around his desk.  He seemed to want to hug her but settled for resting his hand on her shoulder for a brief moment. “I meant what I said.  I’d like to at least…know you as more than a _Commander_.”

Harper hesitated before leaving.  She moved forward to hug him and then left the office quickly.  She found Zaeed waiting outside her parent’s apartment.  “Oh thank god.”

“That’s me.” Zaeed smirked at her. He dragged her into a kiss.

“Jackass.” She slid her arms around him and rested her head against his chest.

“Really?” Her dad stood in the now _open_ door.

Harper tilted her head to glare at him. “Don’t _even_ start. I am still _angry_ with you.”

“Your mom’s on her way back to Arcturus. I thought we needed a family meeting.” Her dad glanced over at Zaeed. “He’s not invited.”

“Yes, _he_ is.  Or maybe I should invite Hackett?” She tried to turn to face her dad but Zaeed held her tightly.

“Fine.”

“Great,” Harper sighed. “Give me some time to process this, please?”

 _“Fine._ ” He started back inside the apartment.

“Dad.” Harper couldn’t end another conversation with him like this.

“I’m not.”

She pushed against Zaeed until he let her go.  She walked over to give her dad a hug. “You raised me.  Hackett’s not going to replace you, he’s not trying to.”

“I love you, kid.” Her dad was probably glaring at Zaeed over her shoulders but she decided to tackle one problem at a time. “I love you so much, and I’m sorry we lied to you.”

“I love you too.” She leaned back to grin up at him. “But Zaeed is still staying.”

“Fine.”

Harper let him head back inside and turned towards her…whatever. “So…I’ve had a very interesting day.”

“No fucking kidding.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Are you Admiral bloody Hackett’s daughter?”

“Yes.”

“Fucking hell.”

“Yes.” Harper leaned her head against him. “I need a drink.”

“You need a goddamn bucket of vodka,” Zaeed agreed.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

_Awkward._

Four people sitting in the same living room had never been so damn quiet.  Zaeed had insisted on staying with her when she went to face her parents.  He sat next to her on the couch with a reassuring hand on her back.

“Honey.” Her mom broke the tense silence in the room.  “I’m so very sorry.”

“Sorry?” Harper’s head snapped up from where she’d been staring at the floor. “Are you sorry that you did it? I doubt it, given the number of times that you’ve done it.  Is it that you lied? No, no I think you’re sorry that I finally know the truth.”

“Watch your tone.” Her mom _snapped_ right back at her.

_It was clearly going to be one of those conversations with her mother._

“Why?” She asked after mentally reminding herself that she wasn't a teenager anymore.

“I’m your mother. I deserve…” Her voice trailed off.

“Respect?” Harper felt the hand on her back shift.  She glanced back to find Zaeed’s eyes filled with concern.  She turned her attention back to her mom. “Respect is earned…and lost.”

“Harper.” Her dad tried to step into the conversation to defuse the tension.

“Why the hell do you put up with it?” Harper asked. Zaeed’s hand rubbed her back.  She thought he might be trying to calm her down.  It _wasn’t_ working.

“It’s not that simple, kid.” Her dad gave her a pained look.

“And I’m _not_ a damn _child_.” She refused to let them brush this under the rug any longer. “I’m an adult, a commander, hell, I’m the damn Butcher of Torfan.  Do you honestly think that I can’t handle family bullshit?”

“I don’t believe what happens between your father and I is not really any of your business.” Her mother broke the strained silence that followed.

“It’s clearly _not_ just between you and dad.” Harper pushed Zaeed’s arm off of her. She didn’t want to be _calmed_. “How many affairs _have_ you had? It seems like while it’s not _my_ business, it’s the business of every damn male officer in the Alliance.”

“I don’t have to answer that question. And I believe I told you to watch your tone, young lady.” She glared at Harper. “This is…”

“Maybe everyone should take a moment to remember that we’re family and we love each other.” Her dad sounded like he was close to the end of his rope.

“Family?” Harper shook her head.

Zaeed stood up suddenly and pulled Harper up with him. “C’mon, Sweetheart.”

“And where do you think you’re going?” Her mom asked caustically.

He raised an eyebrow at her, completely unimpressed with what he saw. “I’ve heard enough, and I think Harper could use some…fresh air.”

Harper didn’t argue with him, but she did pause to hug her dad on the way out of the room. “I love you. You’re _always_ going to be _my_ dad. This hasn’t changed that.”

“Love you too, kid.” He blinked by tears as she followed Zaeed out of the apartment.

He draped an arm around her shoulder. “You ok?”

“Oh, I am _fabulous.”_ She leaned into him.

They ended up at the apartment that had been assigned to Harper as her temporary quarters.  She didn’t bother with pretending to want to eat.  She walked straight into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed.  She rolled over on her back and stared up at the ceiling. 

Zaeed watched her for a moment.  He walked over and eased her boots off of her.  He kicked his own off and moved on the bed beside her.  She curled up against him.  He shifted on his side to wrap his arms around her. 

She buried her face against his shirt to hide the tears that were starting to fall.  She felt fairly confident that the _Butcher of Torfan_ shouldn’t cry.  Zaeed didn’t make a comment though.  He seemed to know that she didn’t want to talk, couldn’t really find words.

It was later in the evening when he was _snoring_ into her ear that she pulled up her omni-tool.  She contacted the one person who was part of the mess that her _family_ had become but yet also outside of it.

* * *

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Arcturus_

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_S: It occurs to me that we have the same initials, only backwards._

_H: We do indeed._

_S: Wonder if that was on purpose._

_H: I have no idea._

_S: I’m having trouble…processing everything._

_H: I can imagine._

_S: I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore._

_H: You’re the same person, you just happen to have an extra person in your family._

_S: I love my dad._

_H: He’s a good man._

_S: He deserved better than all the lies that she’s told him._

_H: Yes._

_S: You deserved better. They should’ve told you the truth._

_H: Maybe._

_S: Why does he stay?_

_H: I can’t answer that._

_S: I know. Sorry, I shouldn’t be talking to you about this. It isn’t…fair._

_H: You can talk to me about anything.  Maybe your dad was afraid of losing you?_

_S: Yea._

_H: I wanted to save you all of this worry and turmoil.  It’s why I never questioned them about it._

_S: And sacrifice your rights as a father?_

_H: What father wouldn’t sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of his daughter’s?_

_S: I hate the chaos that this has created. But I’m glad I know the truth._

_H: Are you?_

_S: I am.  I’d like to get to know you._

_H: Maybe we could have dinner…some time, when you’re comfortable._

_S: How about breakfast…tomorrow morning?  I have to head to Feros for the Council but not until later in the morning._

_H: Bluebird Café? 0700?_

_S: Sure. I…uhm…my boyfriend will probably join us._

_H: Boyfriend?_

_S: Yea._

_H: What boyfriend? Anyone that I would know?_

_S: Wow. How very fatherly of you._

_S: He’s not Alliance._

_H: Does he have a name?_

_S: Yes. See you tomorrow._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

“Morning, Sir.” Harper greeted Hackett who was waiting for them outside of the café the following morning.  She ran a hand nervously through her hair. 

“Just…Hackett or Steven.” He looked past her to Zaeed. “Massani.”

“You two know each other.” She glanced between the two men.

“This…” Hackett rubbed a hand across his forehead. “Let’s have breakfast.”

Harper walked into the restaurant in front of them both.  She paused when she realized that they hadn’t followed.  She stepped back outside to find them in a quiet, but heated conversation.

“Hurt my daughter, and the damage that you survived years ago will look like a walk in the damn park.” Hackett turned unapologetic eyes towards Harper once Zaeed had responded in what he must have considered a satisfactory manner.

“ _Men_.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

She’d showered and changed into clean fatigues the moment that they’d gotten back from Feros.  She was tired and not really in the mood to deal with anyone.  Her brain felt…odd…after yet another attempt to get the vision to make sense.

She didn’t have it in her to have another argument with Alenko and Williams about her _lack_ of ability in driving the Mako.  She threatened to let Wrex drive it in the next mission and headed up to the CIC.  She dodged Pressly who wanted to _lodge_ another complaint about the aliens on the ship.  She could always count on Joker to _not_ aggravate her further.

Harper sat in the co-pilot seat as Joker made the jump from Theseus to Widow.  They talked about his little sister, who was currently obsessed with being a pilot.   Harper told him to send her a model of the _Normandy_ ; she still had one that Anderson had given her. 

The second that the ship docked on the Citadel, Harper was on her way through the airlock towards the elevator.  Zaeed had sent her a message letting her know that he’d be waiting for her.  She found him in Flux having a drink _with_ Admiral Hackett.

_Shit._

Walking up behind Zaeed, she wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on the top of his shoulder.  She tilted her head to find Hackett watching her.  She shifted over to sit in the seat between the two men. 

Harper glanced between the two men. “What’s going on?”

“Not a goddamn thing.” Zaeed rested his hand on her knee.

Harper wasn’t buying it.  There was no way those two men were _just_ coincidentally having a drink. “I know that there’s a lot of _debate_ surrounding my conception and birth, but I promise that it wasn’t _yesterday_.”

“Shepard.” Hackett rubbed his forehead for a moment.

“I spent the last however many hours killing geth and vomiting creatures. If you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you could just tell me whatever the hell it is that you think I’d be _safer_ not knowing.” She pushed Zaeed’s hand off of her knee. “Given the last few weeks, I think I’ve had more than enough of being lied to even if it’s a lie by omission.”

“Fair point.” Hackett pulled up his omni-tool. “I’ll send you the files that I forwarded to Massani.”

“Files?”

“When you helped us bring in Major Kyle, it seems to have reopened unhealed wounds for some of the family of the marines who died on Torfan.” Hackett closed his omni-tool and looked back up at her.  “The man who was in your N-school class in particular, he was released from the brig a few months ago.”

“And?” Harper failed to see why this was such a concern now. 

“He’s made threats, Sweetheart.” Zaeed set his glass down on the table so hard that scotch sloshed over the edge of it.

She frowned first at him and then at Hackett. “So you thought that asking Zaeed to _take_ care of it was the best solution? Or is he just supposed to make sure that I’m not hurt while the Alliance monitors the situation.”

“Like I’d sit on the goddamn sidelines waiting for that bastard to do something?” Zaeed said sharply.

“That’s what I thought.” Harper decided it was probably best to leave the club before she acted on the visions of violence that she was currently imagining. “I have to go speak with Captain Anderson.  I’ll leave you to continue plotting the best way to solve _my_ problems for me. Hey, while you’re at it, can you figure out a way to get people to stop calling me the damn butcher of Torfan? Oh and maybe you could also work it out so my family isn’t completely fractured anymore?”

Hackett motioned for Zaeed to stay seated while he followed her out of the bar.  He caught up to her as she walked towards the balcony to watch the skycars going by. She didn’t bother looking over at him when he stood next to her.

“I’ve been wondering when the strain of everything was going to get to you.” Hackett leaned with his back against the wall and tilted his head towards her. “I had hoped to resolve the problem and then tell you about it. You’ve got bigger problems to deal with like Saren.”

“Sorry, Sir.”

“No, I’m sorry.  I should’ve stopped myself from getting more involved in your life.” He nudged her with his arm. “You don’t have to _Sir_ me when we’re outside of the Alliance walls.”

Harper didn’t think that was such a great idea.  She hadn’t been lying when she’d told him earlier that she was glad she knew the truth.  “I’m not quite sure that I can do that, Sir.  I’ll have to work on it.  Now call me suspicious, but why do I get the feeling that the reason you’re so gung-ho for Zaeed to handle this is because it will keep him far, far away from me?”

Hackett had a much better poker face than her _other_ dad.  “I asked him because he is _motivated_ to keep you safe.”

“Impressive,” Harper said with a laugh. “I am _thoroughly_ impressed that you could say that with a straight face.”

“Are you calling me a liar, Harper?” He asked.

“I’m calling you a father.” She pushed away from the balcony. “A father with a _very_ impressive poker face.”

He didn’t have a ready response for that.  He started to say something but stopped himself to turn away.  Harper briefly wondered if she’d gone too far.  She was about to walk away, she did actually have a meeting with Anderson that she was already late for when a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

“Sir?”

“I’ve had Massani hunt people down in the past.  The reason that I contacted him about this is that I know he can be quick and discreet.” Hackett squeezed her shoulder then pulled his hand back. “Keeping him away from _my_ daughter was simply an added bonus.”

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

“ _Shit_.”

“Harper?”

She opened her eyes and found her parents staring at her. _All three of them._ Zaeed was leaning against the far wall.  They all had equally pissed off looks on their faces.  Hackett stood off to the side.   Hannah was on the right side of her bed and her dad, Allan, was on the left.

It took her a moment to remember why they would be _angry._  She’d gone to Pinnacle Station after stopping the batarians from destroying Terra Nova.  Once she’d beaten all the regular levels with Ash and Kaidan, Ahern had offered her one last challenge.

_One last special simulation._

Five seconds away from winning, she’d taken a blast to the chest.  Alenko had ended the simulation.  Harper had been rushed immediately to the Med Bay.  They’d apparently decided to take her to Arcturus.  She recognized the room as one she stayed in before.

“Family reunion?” Harper sat up in the hospital bed.  Allan eased the pillow up behind her. “Thanks, Dad.”

“How you feeling, kid?” He offered her a glass of water.

“Like I rolled the Mako down a mountain…several mountains,” she groaned.

“Why were you taking part in a simulation that had the safeties turned off?” Hannah stepped closer to the bed.

“A bet. If we succeeded, I would’ve won Ahern’s home on Intai’sei.” Harper waited for the inevitable parental yelling.

“Quite a risk to take.” Hackett in typical _Hackett_ fashion managed to say it without her being able to tell if he approved or not.

Hannah glared over at him. “What are you even doing here?”

“I wanted to make sure that _my_ daughter was ok.” The look on his face would’ve made most people shut their damn mouths.

“She is.” Hannah apparently didn’t care. “You can leave.”

“Mom.”

“You know where to find me.” Hackett patted her arm and started to leave.

“Admiral.”

He stopped on the way to the door to glance back at her. “Commander?”

“You don’t need to leave.” Harper spoke over the annoyed _sighs_ coming from Hannah.

“I think it would be wise.” He gave her a smile and with a nod to her _other_ dad, he stepped out of the room.

Harper picked at the sheet for a moment and then glanced up at Zaeed.  She was getting so very tired of all the family drama.  She asked Zaeed to _retrieve_ Hackett for her. She laughed when he asked about ‘any means necessary.’ He gave her a quick kiss and then left to bring back the Admiral.

“Mom.” Harper turned angry eyes towards Hannah. “You don’t get to tell him to leave.”

“I’m getting very tired of having conversations about this with you,” Hannah snapped at her.

“Then you shouldn’t have screwed every officer in the Alliance but your own damn husband.” Harper’s voice cracked as her volume rose.  Her dad placed a hand on her arm. 

“Let it go, kid.”

“Let it go?” She frowned up at her dad. “Are you kidding me?”

“You’re supposed to be taking it easy,” he cautioned.

“The only _easy_ thing in this room appears to be your damn _wife._ ” Harper glanced aver at her mom _just_ in time to get slapped hard in the face. Zaeed picked that moment to drag Hackett back into the room.  Both men stared at Hannah

“ _Hannah.”_ Her dad looked as stunned as Harper felt.  He look at the two men by the door. “Could you give us a moment?”

“No, Allan, I think I’ve stayed out of Harper’s life enough.” Hackett moved into the room while Zaeed once again stayed by the wall. “And I would suggest that _your_ wife never lays a hand on my daughter like that again.”

Awkward didn’t even come close to describing the room.  Harper didn’t think a word had been invented for how incredibly uncomfortable it felt.  She thought perhaps that she’d prefer to be yelled at.  Rubbing the side of her face lightly, she tried to think of a way to break the tension.

The doctors came in to run a few quick tests now that she was awake and solved the problem for her.   They ushered _all_ of the visitors out of the room.  After a few questions that Harper barely paid attention to, the doc told her that she’d be fine.  They were releasing her in a few hours as long as she took it easy for a few days.

_Easy._

_Sure._

_How hard was Noveria really going to be?_

Since the doctors and her parents didn’t need to know that, Harper promised to restrict the _Normandy_ to strictly scanning planets for minerals for a day or two.  She was spectre, once on the ship, none of them could _technically_ tell her what to do.

Her parents stepped back in, minus Hackett.  Her dad told her that Hackett had headed to his office.  Zaeed had also left to check up on something.  He promised to come back to visit later.  Harper endured the lecture form both of them about unnecessary risks.

Allan leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. “I’ll see you later, kid. Love you.”

“Love you too, Dad.” She emphasized the last word and then groaned when she realized that he’d left her alone with her mom.

_Shit._

“I’m sorry about the slap.” Hannah stood at parade rest, a sure sign that she was feeling uncomfortable.  Her mom always fell back on military training.

Harper shrugged absently to acknowledge the apology without having to accept it. “Did you want to talk about something?”

“Do you intend to continue your relationship with Hackett?”

“Yes.” Harper was anxious to get out of the room…or get her mom out of the room.

“You’re hurting your dad,” Hannah said pointedly.

“Me? I’m hurting him?” She didn’t bother to mask the scorn in her voice. “You created this mess, _mom_. I’m just trying my best to make it work.”

“He doesn’t deserve a place in your life.  He hasn’t _been_ there. He didn’t help raise you.” Hannah wasn’t doing anything but digging her own grave as far as Harper was concerned.

“I don’t know why dad doesn’t have a problem with you screwing around, but I do.  Hackett didn’t _get_ a chance to be there for me.  You made sure of that.  You made bad decisions, and you lied to everyone involved.” Harper felt her temper starting to rise. “Of the _three_ parents in this situation, you are the one with the _least_ right to be in my life right now.”

“I _am_ your mother.”

“And?”

In hindsight, she should’ve been paying better attention.  But considering it was only the second time in her life that her mother had slapped her face, she could forgive herself  for not managing to block it yet again.

“Oh god.”

Harper straightened her back as much as possible and turned slowly towards her mom. “I think you should _leave_ now.”

“Harper.”

“Now.” She turned away from her mom.  There was something completely ridiculous about being slapped twice in a hospital bed.  “Leave before I decided that given my authority as a Spectre, I can slap you right into next week and no one can stop me.”

Her dad stepped into the room as her mom was leaving.  They exchanged a glance but no words.  He moved over to the bed with concern in his eyes. “Did you have a good conversation?”

“Oh brilliant.” Harper gestured to the reddening right side of her face.  “If she does it a third time, I swear that I’m going to punch her through a wall.”

“Again?”

“Why do you stay with her?” Harper asked the question that so far he’d refused to answer.

“She…” Allan turned away from her and walked over to the window behind the bed. “She threatened to take you away from me when I talked about divorce years ago. I’m not your biological father; I’m…really nothing more than a step-father. I wouldn’t have had any rights.”

“I’m an adult.  And you _are_ my dad.  I just happen to have an extra one now.” Harper shoved the blanket away and eased off of the bed. She stretched cautiously before walking over to give him a hug. “I love you.”

“What’s the point of doing it now?”

“Maybe you deserve to be with someone who wants to have sex with you?” Harper grinned at him.

“Zaeed is clearly a terrible influence on you.” Her dad wrapped his arms tightly around her. “I’ll think about it.”

“Would…does it bother you that he’s in my life?” Harper had been thinking about Hannah’s accusation that she was hurting him.

“What did your mother say?” Allan asked perceptively.

“That I was hurting you.”

“Hey, hey. Listen to me kid, you’ve done nothing wrong. _Nothing._ Hackett is a _good_ , good man.  I worried that you might not have room in your life for both of us. But it’s becoming clear to me that you aren’t trying to replace me.  And I’m fine.  You haven’t done a damn thing to hurt me.” He rubbed slow circles on her back like he used to do when she was little.  “I’m proud of you.”

“Even if I did risk my life for a bet?”

“We’re going to have a long talk about that later,” he promised.

“Shit.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

“Captain Shepard.” Hackett took his time looking up from his terminal to the woman stepping into his office. “What can I do for you?”

“Stay the _hell_ away from my daughter.” Hannah appeared the most visibly agitated that he could recall seeing her.

“I’m afraid that’s simply not possible.  One, I’m not generally in the habit of taking orders from _anyone_ , let alone someone several ranks lower.” Hackett paused to let her think about that before continuing. “Second, she happens to also be _my_ daughter. Do you really believe now that Harper knows the truth that she’d stay away even if I tried?”

“Damn it, Steven.  You’re just doing this to…”

Hackett stood up slowly which didn’t match the anger that he was feeling. “I think it’s time that you _left_ my office, _Captain_.”

“Not until you promise to stop interfering.”

Harper stepped into the room before he could respond.  She stopped just inside at the sight of Hannah. “Mom?”

“I was…”

“Leaving.” Hackett had no interested in dealing with Hannah further.

Harper apparently didn’t feel the same. “What are you doing here?”

“I had a private matter to discuss with the Admiral.” Hannah seemed to be torn between needing to leave but wanting to stay.

“Oh? Private?” Harper breathed an annoyed sigh and Hackett found a pair of eyes identical to his own focused on him for a moment.  She squared her shoulders and turned back towards her mother. “What was it this time? Trying to tell him to stay away from me?”

“This is doesn’t _involve_ you.” Hannah was starting to grasp at straws.

“It doesn’t involve me?” Harper started across the room towards her.  “What exactly _doesn’t_ involve me? Hmm?”

“He’s wrecking our family,” Hannah insisted.

“You have clearly lost your damn mind.” She stopped herself before she’d gotten up in her mother’s face. “You wrecked our family.  And you don’t get to blame Hackett.”

Hackett was about to intervene when Harper turned her back on her mother.  She gave him what looked like an apologetic smile and left his office.  He frowned at Hannah. “We’re done here. Get out of my office.”

He didn’t wait to see if she listened.  He literally shoved her out of his office and then headed out to find Harper.  He wanted to know what she’d come to see him about in the first place and also make sure that she wasn’t _too_ upset.

He caught up to her at the Bluebird Café.  She was sitting at one of the tables with a mug clutched between both hands.  He ordered one for himself and sat across from her without waiting for an invitation.

“I’m sorry about her.” Harper stirred her coffee absently.   Her gaze seemed slightly unfocused as she stared into the mug.

“Her behavior is _not_ a reflection on you, and it is certainly _not_ your fault.” Hackett reached across the table to tap his finger against her knuckle. “So what brought you to my office this morning?”

“I wanted to let you know that I’m heading to Noveria.” She couldn’t meet his gaze.

“Harper?” He touched her hand again. “Was that the only reason?”

“At the hospital, you were…”

“Overstepping my bounds?” Hackett suggested helpfully.

Harper’s hand was the one to shoot across the table this time to covers his. “No. I love my…dad but he’s a quiet sort of man.  He doesn’t like anything that causes conflict.  He tends to try to avoid it, especially with her.  It was nice to not be the _only_ person in the room standing up to her.”

“I may not want to intrude on Allan’s relationship with you.  But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to have _my_ own.  And I won’t…” He covered her hand when she started to pull it back. “I’ve had to watch from a distance all your life, since I knew the truth.  You may not ever feel like I’m anything more than an _Admiral_ that you happen to be related to.  I’m… _resigned_ to that fact.  I love you. You’re my daughter. I won’t let _anyone_ hurt you, not even your mother.”

“You’re not just an Admiral that I happen to be related to.” She smiled at him before pulling her hand back to take a sip of coffee. “Even if you weren’t my _dad_ , I don’t think you’d ever _just_ be anything.”

“Is that a compliment or an insult?”

“Both?” Harper shrugged.

“Indeed.” He finished his coffee and stood up. “I should get back to my office.”

Harper grabbed his arm as he started past her. “I’m not ready to…”

“You don’t owe me a damn thing.” Hackett belatedly realized that in his own way, he might have been pressuring her.  “I didn’t say that for you to reciprocate.”

Harper waved off his concern. “I know. You’re too damn honorable for something like that.  Do you like martial arts?”

“Yes?” Hackett was a little confused by the sudden shift in the conversation.

“There’s an exhibition on some of the older forms of it.  It’s in Tokyo but I figured I could give the crew shore-leave for a couple days here on Arcturus and go check it out. Would you…like to go with me?” Harper let go of his arm as she asked.

“You really want me to go with you?”

“Hell yes.” Harper grinned at him. “I’ve studied just about every school of hand to hand that was available.  But there are a few forms like Wushu and Aikido that I’ve never seen.  I thought maybe you’d find it interesting.”

“I’ll clear my schedule.  When is it?” He resisted the urge to pull her up into a hug.  The tentative relationship between them was…enough…for him.  He had _his_ daughter…even if she never openly admitted to it.  It would be enough.

“It’s in a few days.  I have to head to Noveria first anyway.  If you’re busy…I can go alone.” Harper ran her fingers through her multicolored hair.

“I’ve got all the time in the world for you. I’m just surprised that you asked me.” He wondered if Allan had turned her down.

“It seemed like a _father-daughter_ kind of thing. And you’ve missed out on all of those moments.” She seemed almost embarrassed by the idea.  “Maybe we could start …with this?”

Hackett decided that he didn’t give a damn if she wasn’t ready for it.  He dragged her up out of the chair into a hug. He released her after a moment. “Send me the details.  I’ll plan the transport and accommodations for us.”

* * *

Harper left Hackett to make her way to the apartment that Zaeed kept on Arcturus.  He was still asleep when she got there.  Climbing into bed with him, she laughed when he dragged her under the blanket and into his arms.  He shifted her so her back was against his chest. Their arms intertwined and he pressed a kiss into her hair.

“Mornin’ Sweetheart.”

“Hey.” Harper was so beyond exhausted by the constant strain of family drama.  It was like walking through a minefield blind.  “Why the hell did she do it?  And why the hell doesn’t he leave?”

“No goddamn idea.” Zaeed’s arms shifted her even closer. “Bad morning already?”

“I just want to forget all of the bullshit for a while.  So damn tired of it,” she said hopelessly.

“Forget?” Zaeed’s lips brushed against her hair again.  “I think I can help with that.”

“Zaeed.”

He brought has hand up to slid two fingers into her mouth.  His lips grazed along her neck as he thrust slowly in and out of her mouth.  She ran her tongue around the fingers.  After a few minutes, he pulled them out and moved his hand down between her legs.  He let the tips of his fingers tease her before sliding them into her pussy a little.

His lips stayed on the back of her neck.  Harper arched into his touch.  His arm lifted her up a little to adjust her position.  Zaeed spoke in low, deep tones against her skin as he positioned his cock between her legs.  He slid back and forth.  She bucked back against him wanting the teasing to end.

“ _Zaeed._ ”

His answer to her unspoken plea was to thrust into her.  It was one, long hard movement that succeeded in pushing everything from her mind.   She rocked her body back against him.  His fingers clenched around her hip. He leaned up to kiss and bite along her arm as he pounded into her.

The fingers on her hips drifted further around her body.  He found her clit and began gently running his fingers over it.  She twisted her head to the side to meet his lips.  He flicked her lightly with his thumbnail and she came gasping into his kiss.  He thrust into her a few more times before the coming with her.

They ended up on their sides facing each other.  Harper traced the scars on his face with her fingers while Zaeed ran his own fingers through her hair.   Their legs were tangled together.  Zaeed had pulled the blanket up over them again.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Harper shook her head. “No, I’ve had enough talking about it for a while. I’ve got to head to Noveria in an hour.  Have breakfast with me?”

“Only if I can fucking eat it off of you.”

 


	16. Chapter 16

The _Normandy_ had bounced from system to system once they’d finished up on Noveria.  Harper wanted to wrap up a number of missions that Fifth Fleet had sent to her before shore-leave.  She’d feel a little less guilt about spending a couple of days in Tokyo.  The downside was that now everyone was completely exhausted.

She sent a message to Zaeed to let him know where she’d be.  She hoped that he’d find a way to detour from his latest bounty to Earth.  The only person that she hadn’t told was her mom. 

Hannah had been avoiding her…well…everyone for the past few days.  Her dad hadn’t even heard from her.  She decided not to worry about it.  This was the first _non_ -Alliance time that she’d gotten to spend with Hackett.  She intended to enjoy it.

_Even if it was awkward._

The first few hours of the exhibition had been spent only half-enjoying the demonstrations.  She’d worried too much that Hackett would be bored.  Once she realized that he was as interested in it as she was, she stopped stressing. 

He seemed most interested in some of the techniques based on ancient European styles.  Harper had always preferred the Japanese style of martial arts.  They went back and forth between the two.  Over dinner that night, they argued long into the night over which was better.

The following morning, Hackett ended up pulled into a meeting with the brass based in Tokyo.  Harper used the opportunity to take part in an Aikido training session.  It was several hours of condensed practice. 

With her knowledge of other martial arts, she was a _natural_ at it.  The Major who was leading the session was impressed with her abilities.  She asked Harper to come back later to take part in her demonstration.

She visited some of the other practice sessions and then came back for the Aikido demonstration.  She got her ass handed to her for the next hour.  She was exhausted and drenched in sweat when it was over.  She knelt at the edge of the mat and drank her way through two bottles of water.

“Impressive.”

Harper glanced up to find Hackett offering her a third bottle of water. “Thanks. It was a lot of fun. I love this stuff.”

“You were amazing.  Major Suarez wants me to reassign you to her unit.” Hackett crouched down in front of her.

“I bet.” Harper set the half-empty bottle of water aside. “I like my ship too much for that, though it is tempting.”

“I’m sorry that I missed the morning stuff. Let me buy you lunch.” Hackett helped her up to her feet. “There’s a Savate event that I want to watch this afternoon.”

“Savate?” Harper stretched her back out before following him. “Kickboxing?”

“French kickboxing.”

“Is it better with an accent?” Harper grinned at him.

“Go shower.  I’ll wait for you in the hotel lobby.” Hackett pushed her towards the elevators.

Harper showered quickly and pulled on clean jeans and an N7 t-shirt.  She shoved her feet into her sneakers and ran a hand through her wet hair.  She was too hungry to worry about it.  She stepped out of the hotel room and right into her mother.

“Mom?”

“What the _hell_ are you doing here?” Hannah poked her finger against Harper’s t-shirt.

She glared down at the finger than up at her mom. “Shore-leave. You? Meeting one of your _men_?”

“I saw Hackett in the lobby.  Are you here with him?  I thought you were bringing your father.” Hannah’s words touched a little too close to home.  Even if Harper knew that she’d talked with him before she invited Hackett.  “Are you trying to break his heart?”

“Me? Are you kidding me?”

“I’ve spent all this time assuming that Hackett pursued this fracture in our family. But the truth is you started it.  You started asking questions, and now, you’re spending time with him.  You’re ignoring the man who raised you.” Hannah’s eyes narrowed angrily at her.

Harper canted her head to the side. “Are you seriously going to claim that this was my fault?”

“You’ve always been a selfish brat.” Hannah snapped at her. “If I hadn’t promised Allan to be kind, I would’ve kept you in line a lot better than he did.”

“Really? How very, very interesting.” She shoved her hands into her pockets to keep from punching her. “I guess the bitch didn’t fall far from the tree then.  You clearly wrote the master class in selfish behavior.”

Hannah’s hand shot out to slap her but Harper countered quickly.  She kept a firm grasp on her mother’s wrist as she swept her feet out from under her.  With a word of warning, Harper released her and started down the hallway. 

It would be better for everyone involved if she got the hell away from her mother as quickly as humanly possible.   It was not going to be that easy.  Hannah slid into the elevator with her just as the doors closed. 

The ride from the fourth floor to the hotel lobby was excruciatingly long.  Harper would _never_ repeat the things that her _mother_ said to her in that trip.  The accusations that she threw at her daughter were absurd.  If it had been anyone else speaking to her, Harper would’ve easily let them fall on deaf ears.

_It was her mother._

_Her mother._

She stormed out of the elevator the minute that the doors opened.  Hackett was up out of the seat that he’d been in the moment that he spotted her and the person behind her.  She ignored the concern on his face and dodged past him.  She was out the door and walking as quickly away from everyone as she could get.

“Sweetheart?” 

Harper glanced up as strong hands gripped her arms and stopped her. “Zaeed.”

“What the bloody hell happened?” He took one look at the tears in her eyes and pulled her into a hug. “What did he do?”

“He?”

“Aren’t you here with Hackett?”

“Ahh. Yes, I am.  But no, this…it wasn’t him.” Harper pressed her face into shirt for a moment.

“Massani.” Hackett’s voice had Harper pushing away from Zaeed.  He ignored her and crushed her back into his arms. “Can I have a moment with my daughter?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be protecting her?” Zaeed asked angrily.

“From her mother?”

“Someone fucking needs to.” Zaeed finally let Harper moved back. 

She scrubbed her eyes with the hem of _his_ shirt much to his annoyance. “I can handle it.”

“Like I said, someone fucking needs to _handle_ her.” Zaeed stared pointedly over Hackett’s shoulder towards where they could see Hannah approaching.

Hackett spun around and stepped between Hannah and Harper. “I think you should leave.”

“Not until I talk to her.” Hannah started around him only to have Hackett place a firm hand on her arm. “Let go.  You shouldn’t even be here; Allan was supposed to come with her.”

“Allan and I had a very long conversation after Harper invited me.  I believe that she talked with him before asking me.” Hackett began forcing her back down the sidewalk away from Harper.

“She’s not…”

Hackett shook her once to stop her mid-sentence.  He leaned in with more anger than Harper could ever recall seeing in him.  He was normally fairly stone-faced no matter what was going on.  “You’ve hurt every person in your family. You’ve been allowed to escape every possible penalty.  Touch or injure _my_ daughter in any way again, and I guarantee that you _will_ find yourself dealing with long overdue consequences.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“Definitely.” He let go of her arm. “I suggest that you get back to your ship, Captain.”

“You can’t…” Hannah’s voice trailed off.

Hackett raised an amused eyebrow at her. “I can’t what? Tell you what to do.  I’m thinking that being an Admiral means that I can.  Get the hell back to your ship, _now_.  You don’t get to bully Harper just because you screwed up.”

“No pun intended,” Harper muttered to Zaeed. 

It was oddly fascinating watching her mother balk in front of someone who clearly didn’t fear her.  Hannah started to argue with Hackett but something in his face caused her to pale.    She sent an angry glare at Harper and finally stalked away from them.

“So lunch?” Hackett turned back towards Harper and Zaeed. “He’s buying his own damn lunch.”

“Aww. Lunch with my dad and my boyfriend,” Harper teased.  The moment the ‘d _-word’_ was out of her mouth, her eyes shot up to Hackett’s. 

Hackett turned his head to the side while he rubbed absently at his jaw.  After a moment, he moved forward and pulled Harper into a hug.  He spoke softly so Zaeed wouldn’t hear. “Thanks for inviting me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Harper sat on the floor in her quarters with her back to against the bed.  She had a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand.  She’d finished her debrief with the crew and with Fifth Fleet regarding the death of Ashley.  She had then gone to speak with the Council who along with Udina managed to completely screw her over. 

Kaidan and Garrus had tried to get her to go to Flux with the rest of the squad for drinks.  They figured it would be a good way to salute Ash’s memory.  She’d declined the offer.  She also brushed off Joker’s attempt to talk to her.  She wasn’t interested in being consoled or humored or patronized.

Her dad had sent her a hail over the vid-comm that she’d _ignored_. Her mom had sent a message as well.  She deleted it without reading it.  Their relationship seemed permanently fractured after what happened in Tokyo.

“Commander?” Joker’s voice interrupted her drinking. “You’ve got a visitor.”

“Not interested.”

“Yea. He’s already on his way down,” Joker responded with what she _knew_ was a smirk.

She stayed on the floor and drank more jack.  The knock on her door went unanswered.  After a few minutes, it opened and Hackett stepped into her quarters.  He moved across the room and eased down on the floor beside her.

“Allan asked me to check in on you.  He was worried.” He pulled the almost empty bottle away from her. “Should he be?”

“’m fine.” Great. Wonderful. Fabulous.” Harper reached for the bottle but missed it completely. “Stop moving it around. That’s not fair.”

“I think you’ve probably had enough.” He set the bottle out of her reach.

“You’re not my…” She frowned at him in confusion. “Well, damn, you are my father.”

“Harper.”

“I know that I’m the _‘Butcher of Torfan.’_ You’d think it would make this easy.  You’d think I’d be used to people dying under my command.” Harper leaned across him to try unsuccessfully to grab the liquor again. “I can’t send people to their deaths again.  I can’t do it.  I won’t do it. You can take my damn ship and my rank and everything. Dishono…dis…shit…discharge me from the damn Alliance. I don’t care.”

“I have something for you.” Hackett gestured towards the crate that he’d left by the door that she’d completely missed seeing.

“What is it?”

“A complete collection of Bruce Lee vids, I had a feeling that you might enjoy them.” He chuckled at her when she attempted to stand up and failed miserably. “Maybe you should wait until some of the Jack Daniels has worn off.”

“I’m gonna…take a nap.” Harper slouched further down on the floor.

“Maybe not on the ground?” Hackett stood up and helped her into her bunk.

She woke up hours later to a persistent beeping from her terminal.  The cup of water and two aspirin on her side table caught her attention.  She took both and emptied the glass.  With a low groan, she wandered over to her comm to see who was _so_ desperate to talk to her.

“Dad.”

Allan gave her what she assumed was a sympathetic smile. “What’ve I told you about drinking?”

“I don’t remember.” Harper sank down into the chair in front of the terminal.

“Don’t do it,” he chuckled. “Hey, kid, do you have plans for next week?”

“Nope.”

“I thought we could spend a little time together.  I know you are now the proud owner of a set of kung fu movies.  Perhaps a movie marathon?  I’ve got plenty of snacks and non-alcoholic beverages at home here on Arcturus.”  Allan was not above bribing her.

“Are you and Hackett becoming best friends or something?” Harper asked.

“We share a common interest in protecting someone that we love,” Allan said thoughtfully.

“I love you, Dad.” She massaged her temples for a moment.  The aspirin hadn’t quite kicked in yet. “The movie marathon sounds like a great idea. No mom.”

“Harper,” he sighed. 

“No. Mom.” Harper wasn’t going to be trapped into having another conversation with Hannah.

“Fine, just the two of us.”

Harper glanced up when Alenko stepped into her quarters after knocking.  He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I gotta go, Dad.  Captain Anderson wants to see me.”

* * *

_From: Harper  
_

_To: Zaeed  
_

_Subj: Piracy.  
_

_I appear to have stolen a ship.  
_

_So now I'm a pirate and a butcher.  
_

_My career choices seem to have broadened more than I anticipated.  
_

_Harper  
_

* * *

_From: Zaeed  
_

_To: Harper  
_

_Subj: re: Piracy.  
_

_You stole a ship and all you could come up to do with it is to continue to chase after a rogue spectre.  
_

_I've not rubbed off on you enough, Sweetheart.  
_

_Zaeed  
_

* * *

_From: Harper  
_

_To: Zaeed  
_

_Subj: re: Piracy.  
_

_That really depends on what you're referring to.  
_

_I need a favor.  There's a book on Savate from the twentieth century that I finally tracked down but the only copy that I can find is in a book store Marseille.  
_

_Will you please get it for me? Please?  I want to give it to Hackett.  
_

_Harper  
_

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

“Popcorn?”

Harper lifted up to look over the back of the couch at her dad. “Of course.”

“You aren’t supposed to be stretching your shoulder like that.” He reminded her as she sank down on the cushions again.

It was two days after the defeat of both Saren and Sovereign.  Harper had snuck away from the Citadel to spend time with her dad on Arcturus.   The _Normandy_ was in dry-dock on the Citadel so Hackett had arranged to have one of the other Alliance ships in the area give her a lift. 

Her mom would think she was still on the Citadel which was an added bonus.  Zaeed had wanted her to hang around for a bit before she left.  She’d told him to meet her on Arcturus in a week or two instead. 

The doctor had promise that her shoulder wasn’t permanently damaged.  She was just supposed to take it easy for a few weeks.  Her dad had taken that to mean that she needed to act like every part of her body was fragile.

It was sweet…and exhausting.

“ _Dad._ ”

“Sorry, kid, Doctor’s orders.” He handed her a bowl of popcorn before taking a seat in one of the armchairs.

They were half-way through the collection of movies when the Council _requested_ that Harper make her way back to the Citadel.  They wanted the _Normandy_ to head to the Omega Nebula to investigate a few ships that had gone missing in the past week. 

Harper promised to head back to Arcturus as soon as they’d finished checking out the system.  She really wanted to see the rest of the films.  They had breakfast at the Bluebird Café.  It was definitely becoming her favorite place to get coffee.

“Be careful.”

Harper glanced back at her dad as he walked with her to the docks where the _Normandy_ had docked early that morning. “Careful?”

He pulled her into a hug. “You’re my…well…I just love you, kid.”

“I’m your daughter.  I don’t need to be blood for that to still be true.” She stepped back from him after a moment. “Love you too.”

The _easy_ mission turned out to be a lot more complicated that she anticipated.  The Council had decided to brush any mention of the Reapers under the rug.  And they’d basically strong-armed the Alliance into keeping the _Normandy_ out hunting down an enemy that wasn’t really there. The _geth_ were _not_ the biggest threat in the galaxy.

_Politicians._

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: Shore-Leave_

_I have no idea when we’re getting our next break._

_I brought it up to Hackett but his hands are tied at the moment._

_We restocked the ship on the Citadel a few days ago._

_This is such a waste of time._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: Shore-Leave_

_I’m not going anywhere and neither are the vids._

_I do need to talk to you about something rather important._

_Vid-comm when you get a chance?_

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: re: Vid-comm._

_It’ll have to be later this evening._

_We’re heading into the Amada system again._

_Harper_

* * *

Allan had waited hours without hearing a word from Harper.  He’d wanted to tell her first.  He already spoken with his attorney and gotten the papers drawn up.  He intended to file for divorce from Hannah. 

Now that Harper was an adult, he didn’t see a need to prolong the marriage any longer.  It was time that he found a little happiness for himself.  He wasn’t sure how Hannah was going to respond when she received the divorce papers.   He was beyond caring at this point. Her stunt on Tokyo had been the final straw for him.

It was almost midnight when his door buzzer sounded.  Allan moved away from his terminal where he’d been trying yet again to reach Harper.  He was surprised to find Hackett waiting for him.

“Steven?”

“Captain…Councilor Anderson contacted me a few moments ago.” Hackett stepped into his living room without waiting for an invitation. “The _Normandy…”_

_“No.”_

“It was attacked by whatever has been attacking other ships in that system.  The survivors are being brought to Arcturus.  I don’t know if she’s…I haven’t...” Hackett ran his hand across his face to collect himself. “I’m heading to the docks to meet them.  I thought you’d want to come with me.”

Allan rushed back into his bedroom to change into his uniform.  He wasn’t wandering around the station in pajamas.  The two men were silent as they raced towards the docking bay.  The area was relatively packed with waiting medics with gurneys and a wheel chair or two.  They hadn’t gotten detailed information on the survivors yet.

The first of the two ships that had been sent out to offer aid to the _Normandy_ arrived an hour later.  Hackett and Allan searched the survivors but didn’t see Harper amongst them.  No one seemed to know where she was. 

The second ship finally arrived thirty minutes later.  Alenko stumbled over to the two men.  He looked completely shell-shocked.  He ignored the medics who were trying to check him over for injuries.

“Did she make it?” Hackett asked with a slight hesitation in his voice.

“I don’t know, Sir.  I…she ordered me to get into an escape pod with the others.  She wanted to make sure that Joker got into one as well.  He’s…” Alenko gestured towards where the pilot was struggling with medics as best he could. “He won’t say anything.  I thought maybe she was on the other ship with him.”

Allan couldn’t stop the way his heart started to race painfully in his chest.  He followed Hackett over to the pilot who medics had finally gotten calmed down. “Jeff?”

Moreau’s eyes were…dead…when he looked up at the two men. He didn’t need to say anything; the look was enough for Allan to know that Harper was gone.  He turned on his heel and walked away.  He didn’t want to hear the ‘how’ of it. 

“Allan.” Hackett caught up with him a few minutes later. “Do you want to know?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I really don’t need to know how my daughter…your…Harper died.”

Hackett grabbed Allan’s shoulder. “Hey, she was your daughter. You raised her and loved her.  I’m so sorry.”

Allan waved off whatever else Hackett had been about to say. “I need to contact Hannah and let her know.  Did they at least find her body?”

“Not yet.”

* * *

_From: Hannah Shepard_

_To: Steven Hackett  
_

_Subj: Harper.  
_

_I understand that my daughter is dead.  
_

_The Alliance should've kept the Normandy out of the Council's clutches.  
_

_This is your damn fault.  
_

_What was all that nonsense about you keeping her safe?  
_

_Hannah  
_

* * *

_From: Steven Hackett  
_

_To: Hannah Shepard  
_

_Subj: Harper.  
_

_I'll disregard those comments.  
_

_Allan and I have planned the memorial, you're welcome to attend.  
_

_I warn you now.  I won't put up with any bullshit at the event.  She deserves to rest in peace, even if you wouldn't give her that in life.  
_

_Hackett  
_


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: Zaeed Massani_

_Subj: Memorial._

_It’s tomorrow on Arcturus at 1300._

_Allan said that he sent a few messages to you but you’ve never responded._

_She’d want you to be there._

_Hackett_

* * *

Zaeed didn’t bother to answer.  He hadn’t responded to Allan’s messages either.  Harper wouldn’t care about the memorial on Arcturus.  She wouldn’t care if he was there or not.  Hannah _would_ be there and he’d have a hard time not slapping the bitch in the face.

He didn’t want to go to listen to what the military thought was appropriate.  He decided to take a trip to Spain instead.  He went to the hotel where he’d recovered so many years before after she’d saved his life.  He drank a bottle of whiskey and cussed at the empty room.

His fingers pulled the black knit hap that he’d shoved into his pocket earlier.  He’d never given it back to Harper after that transport to Elysium.  He’d never get the chance to give it back now.

They had never really _discussed_ their relationship.  Harper seemed perfectly content to just know that Zaeed was there. He was starting to regret never telling her how much she’d meant to him.

_Fuck._

_He was going to miss her._

* * *

_Six Months Later_

Hackett looked up to find Allan Shepard stepping into his office. He looked…exhausted. “Allan. Take a seat.”

“I wanted…” Allan stared down at his hands. “I’m sending you the access code to a storage locker that I own.  After the divorce, Hannah didn’t want any of Harper’s things.  I kept them in my apartment but…I had to put them in storage for safe keeping.”

“Why?” Hackett didn’t want to feel like he was stealing Allan’s memories.

“Three months before Harper died, I went in for an annual check-up.” He took a slow, deep breath before continuing. “I’ve lived six months longer than they thought I would but I’m not sure how much longer I have left.”

“Isn’t there…”

“They’ve tried everything.  It was caught too late and spread too fast,” Allan interrupted. “I need to know that someone who loved her has all of it.  I’ve updated my will so Hannah doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on if she tries to fight you for it.”

“I’ll treasure all of it.” Hackett felt his heart breaking for the man. “It won’t stay in storage.”

“Thank you.”

“Is there anything that _I_ can do?” Hackett asked.

“Remember her for me.” Allan stood up and started for the door.  He stopped with his hand on the frame for support to glance back. “I loved her.  She was my daughter but I always felt like I stole her from you.  And I’m sorry for that.  When she was little, after she’d visited me on the ship and met you, she wanted one of those recruitment posters that they made with you on it.  Thing drove Hannah up the wall.  You were one of her heroes, even when she didn’t know that you were her father.”

Hackett didn’t have a response for him.  He stood and offered Allan a salute.  With a nod, he was out of the office.  Hackett dropped back down into his chair. He sent a note to his yeoman to make sure that everything that could be done to help Allan out was done.  

* * *

_Three months later._

It was almost poetic.  Allan had passed away a year to the day of the destruction of the _Normandy_.  The man had been wise to tie his affairs up with enough legal tape that Hannah couldn’t do a thing.  Hackett had spent a lot of time with him in the last weeks. 

He left the funeral service and headed across the station to the storage facility that Allan had used.  He’d waited out of respect for the man.  He knew that Allan had visited it a few times before he died.  He had the two crates delivered to his apartment.

Setting the lid of the first one aside, Hackett found himself staring at a container of childhood memories.  His knees gave out causing him to drop down on his couch.  He pulled the box closer and lifted out one of her trophies.  It was from a tournament that she’d won.  He remembered hearing Allan talk about it at the time.

He placed that on the coffee table and lifted out a digital photo album.  Leaning back against the couch, he flipped through the images of his daughter.   He grabbed the glass of scotch that he’d poured and took a long drink.   His finger brushed across one of the photos.

* * *

_From: Anderson_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: Your Eyes Only._

_I think you’re going to want to see this._

_It’s something that a Cerberus insider forwarded on to me._

_David_

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

When her multiple attempts to reach her dad failed, Harper knew something had to be wrong.  She started researching on the extra-net.  The first thing she discovered was that her parents had separated not long after her death.  The second thing that she found was an obituary for _Allan Shepard_ who died after suffering from a terminal illness.

_Dead._

_Divorced._

“Shepard?”

Harper collapsed into the seat beside Joker’s in the bridge. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“About?” He gave her a confused look.

“My dad.”

“I was hoping someone else would handle it,” Joker shrugged uncomfortably.

Harper couldn’t really blame him. She pushed the sleeve of her shirt up to stare at the empty space where her birthmark used to be.  She ran her thumb over the skin before looking up at the pilot. “Get us to the Citadel.”

Harper wasn’t sure what reception that she anticipated when she walked into Anderson’s office in the Embassy.  She sure hadn’t been expecting to find two marines with rifles pointed in her direction.  She glanced around the men to _Admiral_ Hackett and Councilor Anderson standing just behind them.

“I’d really prefer not to die twice, if that’s ok with everyone.” Harper held her arms up and away from the weapon at her side. “I can prove it’s me.”

“Oh? Do tell.” Hackett moved up until he was standing between her and the armed guards.

“We had the same birthmark on our elbows.”  Harper glanced around at the three other men in the room before turning back to him. “I’d think that you’d know your own daughter.”

“Did you just say daughter?” Anderson glanced between her and Hackett.

“Give us the room,” Hackett ordered.  His eyes stayed on her while the three men filed out of the room.  “We heard rumors that you were alive but nothing…it’s damn good to see you.”

“I…” Harper blinked back tears as she tried to meet his gaze. “My…other…dad died?”

Hackett took a few steps forward until he could ease her into a hug. “He’d been sick for months before you died.  He hadn’t had a chance to tell anyone.  I spent some time with him at the end.  He talked about you.  He was _proud_ of _our_ daughter.”

“What happened to his ashes?” Harper hated to think that her mother had them.

Hackett held her arms gently in his hands and eased her back. “I kept them, in my home.   He didn’t want Hannah to have any of his or your things.  He wanted…to know that you were remembered.”

“Have you seen _her?_ ”

“Hannah made the mistake of coming to visit me in my office on Arcturus once.  She has not done it again.” He gave her a look that stopped the question that she’d been about to ask.

She didn’t get a chance to respond further as Anderson stepped back into the room.  The three of them sat down to talk about Harper’s current _state_ of being.  Cerberus wasn’t ideal.  It was beyond not ideal but she didn’t have much of a choice at the moment.

Anderson promised to keep the Council at bay while Hackett fully intended to keep the _less_ friendly members of the Admiralty from trying to bring her in for questioning.  Once the Collector problem had been dealt with, it would be much easier to bring Harper back into the Alliance _officially_. It wasn’t perfect but she got the idea that Hackett didn’t like the idea of his daughter being stuck with Cerberus without a plan.

She had intended to make her way back to the _Normandy_ but Hackett steered her away from the docks towards the one of the apartment blocks in one of the upper wards.   They sat in one of the apartments drinking coffee a few minutes later.

_It was awkward._

“Sir? Did you…need something?” She wasn’t sure why the hell he hadn’t let her head back to the ship.

“I wasn’t quite ready for you to disappear again.” Hackett balanced his cup on his knee.  “This must be a lot to take in for you.  Finding out that you were dead for two years is bad enough, but learning that your parents separated and your father died.  It has to be overwhelming.  I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you.  I’m not Allan, but I love you.  You’re my daughter.”

Harper reached over to touch her hand to his. “The way I see it, I had two dads.  And you are both amazing, strong men. _”_

He covered her hand when she started to pull it back. “I love you.  And I don’t want you to _ever_ feel like I’m trying to…erase his memory.”

She stared down at the strong hand that held hers.  She studied the lines on his hand and the scar that covered three of his fingers while she considered his words. “Creating memories with you doesn’t mean that I lose the ones that I had with him.”

They talked a little while longer before he suggested that she take advantage of having access to a truly secure terminal.  She sent a few messages though she resisted the desire to send one to her mother.  She also took a moment to order a few things for herself.  She needed a non-Cerberus issue omni-tool. 

Hackett told her to have whatever she needed delivered to the apartment.  He intended to stay on the Citadel for a few weeks at the least.  He was in the middle of trying to resolve a few issues with Anderson’s help.  She also ordered non-Cerberus fatigues and armor.  She wasn’t going anywhere with that logo on her body.

It was bad enough that she felt like it was already etched into her skin.  That reminded her of something else that she needed to get done.  She had Hackett roll his sleeve up so that she could get a capture of it to send to a tattoo artist that she knew on the Citadel. 

The skin grafts had removed all of her scars, the birthmark and everything else from her body.  She felt weird without the mark on her elbow so she decided to get a tattoo of it.  That way, at least, she’d feel like she was herself.

He insisted on going with her when she got the tattoo.  It was odd for her to see Hackett this relaxed, outside of the uniform.  It was like the brief time that they spent in Tokyo together.  She could almost imagine what he would’ve been like as her father, raising her when she was little.  She didn’t say anything though until he’d walked her back to the docks.

Her fingers gripped his arm to keep him from walking away.  “I had this…whole speech planned out, you know, before I died.  I had this book that I was going to give you.  And…then I died which really sucked.”

“Speech?”

“Yea.” Harper felt suddenly unsure. “But I can’t really remember it now. Thankfully. Mostly, I just wanted to say that I love you…Dad.”

“Harper.”

“I’m not saying it because he’s dead.  I planned on saying it…before.” Harper wanted to make sure that he understood that this wasn’t an attempt to replace Allan. 

Hackett pulled her into another hug. “I’m so damn glad that you’re alive.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Harper glanced over at the picture frame that sat on her desk. Cerberus had mistakenly assumed that she’d been involved with Alenko so they’d included a photo of him.   She’d replace it with a photo that she’d _borrowed_ from Hackett.

It was of both of her fathers when they served together.  They were standing on the bridge of the ship with their arms draped across each other’s shoulders.  She thought that she’d been the one taking the photo, but she couldn’t remember.  She’d have to ask Hackett about it.

The _Normandy_ was about an hour away from docking on Omega.  It was plenty of time for Harper to internally panic about how Zaeed would react to seeing her.  She paced in her quarters in front of the empty fish tank. 

In the end, Harper took the easy way out.  She ordered Jacob and Miranda to head off of the ship to _recruit_ Zaeed.  They’d both given her strange looks but her ship, her rules.  She sat on the couch and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees.  She stared at her hands and groaned when she couldn’t seem to stop them from trembling.

Shaking them out in front of her, Harper surged off of the couch to start pacing again.  It was completely ridiculous to be so wound up about seeing Zaeed again.  She knew him.  He’d probably moved on a long time ago.  He wasn’t likely to believe that she was…who she said he was.

She leaned her head against the fish tank. “Get it together, Shepard.”

“Talking to yourself, Sweetheart?”

She twisted her head to the left to find Zaeed standing by the door.  She hadn’t even heard the damn thing open.  Her mouth didn’t seem to want to work as he moved casually towards her.  Her feet weren’t doing much better.  Backing up seemed like a damn good idea, but she couldn’t move.

“Why the bloody hell did you send your little soldiers to get me, eh?” Zaeed eased her away from the aquarium to stand in front of him.  His fingers clenched tightly on her shoulders. “I had a very interesting fucking conversation with Admiral Hackett a few hours ago.”

“Oh?” Harper kept her gaze focused on the tattoo on his neck.  It was safer than trying to meet his eyes.

“He thought I’d want to know that my _girlfriend_ was alive.” He shifted one of his hands from her shoulder to gently but _very firmly_ hold the side of her face. “Why didn’t you come get me? I was bloody waiting for you.”

“Girlfriend.” Harper blinked up at him with what she was certain was a blatantly stupid look on her face.

“Do I look like I’m in anyone else’s fucking quarters?” He slid his hand from her cheek to the back of her head to pull into a kiss.  He licked her bottom lip and sank his teeth lightly into it. “Two goddamn years. You think that I’d have fucking forgotten you by now.”

Harper felt her uneasiness disappear and she grinned up at him. “So what? You lick me and I’m yours again?”

“What makes you think that you stopped being mine?”

“Being dead.”

His arms wrapped around her and he crushed her into his armor. “Don’t bloody remind me.”

“I…we’re supposed to be heading to find some Salarian doctor in the quarantined zone on Omega.  Want to come?” Harper mumbled against his chest.  She turned her head to the side as her nose started to protest being pressed into his armor.  “Wait a second, how did you get in here?”

“Threatened the AI.”

_“Zaeed.”_

“What?” He went back to biting and sucking on her neck. “I was given very _strict_ orders to make sure that you were fucking alright.”

“I don’t think this was what he meant.” Harper finally pushed him back.  She headed over to get her armor out of the locker to put it on. She swatted Zaeed’s hands when he tried to _dissuade_ her. “Stop that.”

“I want you to take the goddamn clothes off of you not add more layers,” he complained.

“No.”

“No?”

“No as in not right now, not as in never,” she clarified.

“Harper.”

She turned around to see him frowning at her. “Look, I’m a little…you _are_ going to have to be patient.”

“Patient?” Zaeed pulled her over so he could trace the new scars on her neck with his fingers. “You were dead. I just want to bloody hold you.”

Harper felt her hesitation fall away.  She leaned into the hand that drifted from her neck up to cup her cheek.  Zaeed must have sensed the change because he stepped back and carefully removed her armor along with the fatigues underneath.  He left her in the bra and shorts that she wore underneath. 

Pushing her back on the bed, he paused to strip down to his boxers.  He climbed up on the bed beside only to drag her over into his arms the minute that he’s stretched out on the mattress.  Harper dragged the blanket up to cover them both.

“Zaeed.”

“Hmm?” His lips brushed against the back of her head.

“I…” She didn’t know if he wanted to hear her ‘I love you’ so she decided to ask the other question on her mind. “Are you staying?”

“Like I’m going to leave?” He chuckled. “I love you too, Sweetheart.”

Harper elbowed him lightly in the side. “Don’t tease or I’ll tell my…Hackett.”

Zaeed’s arms tightened around her. “I’m sorry about Allan. I liked him even if he didn’t like me.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m not sleeping in the bloody cargo hold.” Zaeed broke the prolonged silence. 

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Zaeed watched Harper as she moved through the crowd at Afterlife. She was clearly still trying to avoid him.  She spoke with Aria then headed down the lower section of the bar.  He caught up with her after she met up with a woman that he didn't recognize.

"Sweetheart?"

She smiled at him when he pulled her past the entrance to the bar into a secluded alcove. "Something on your mind?"

He traced one of the scars on her cheek.  She hadn't had a chance to get them fixed yet.  He hated the way she flinched when he touched them. She'd refused to fully undress in front of him as well.

"Is there a reason that you dragged me over here?" Harper brushed his hand away from the red marks on her face.

He leaned forward to let his lips touch the scar where his fingers had been. "I _love_ you, Sweetheart.  You're fucking beautiful."

Harper touched her own fingers to his lips before responding. "I love you too."

He lifted one of her legs to wrap it around his so that he could press fully against her body.  His lips brushed gently against hers again.  He kissed her with increasing heat.  His tongue joined the fun and Harper had to remind herself that they were standing in a dirty hallway on Omega, not her _private_ quarters.

_They had a damn mission to do that didn’t involve screwing around in public._

Mordin Solus had been relatively easy to find. They had just had to fight through a quarantined zone.  She sent the salarian straight to the _Normandy_ and asked him to start the upgrade to the Med Bay first. 

She really wanted the scars gone.  She forced Zaeed to step back so that they could meet up with the Blue Suns recruiters.  They needed to con their way into the group heading out to take care of Archangel.    

They were rushing back to the _Normandy_ a few hours later with an injured Garrus in tow.  She left him in Chawkas’ capable hands.  She headed up to the CIC to set a course for Alchera.  They had already scanned most of the other planets in the systems surrounding Omega.  She’d left Amada last. 

Piloting the Kodiak down to Alchera by herself, Harper picked through the wreckage carefully.  She didn’t want to leave anyone’s tags behind.  She was tempted to bring her ruined helmet back with her.  She thought perhaps it would be better _not_ to have a reminder of the pain that she’d gone through when she died.

Instead, Harper decided to leave it at the foot of the memorial.  It could stay where it was with the rest of the wreckage.  She took one last look across the debris field and then went back to the shuttle to fly back to the _Normandy_.

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: Alchera_

_I have the missing tags._

_I’m heading to the Citadel so I’ll give them to Anderson to forward on to you._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: Alchera_

_Are you ok?_

_Hackett_

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: Alchera_

_I will be._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: Alchera_

_Would you like me to meet you on the Citadel?_

_We can have lunch…spend a little time together._

_Hackett_

* * *

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: Alchera_

_If you aren’t…busy._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Shepard_

_Subj: re: Alchera_

_Busy?_

_My daughter needs me._

_Everything else can wait.  I’ll meet you on the Citadel._

_Hackett_

* * *

Harper avoided the crew rather successfully by hanging out with Joker.  The crew tended to avoid the cranky pilot.   They were joined by Zaeed no longer after and then Garrus who appeared a little worse for the wear.

Garrus wanted to know about the crash site.  Harper told him that the next time they were in the area; he could take the shuttle to see for himself.   She didn’t want to revisit it again.  It had been hard enough to look at it.  Joker seemed to agree.

The conversation was thankfully halted by their arrival at the Citadel.  Zaeed followed her into the airlock.   He wrapped an arm around her waist as they made their way up to the Presidium to see Anderson.  She was surprised when she stepped into his office to find her mother arguing loudly with him and _Hackett_ about Harper and Cerberus.

Zaeed’s arm around her tightened protectively as her mother turned towards her.  Hannah didn’t seem _all_ that happy to see her.  Hackett moved quickly to step close enough that he could intervene if necessary.  She’d think about how completely endearing that was later…much later. 

Her mom started immediately ranting and raving at her about being with Cerberus. She went for a good five minutes before Harper decided to interrupt her with a quietly spoken, "mother.”

Hannah frowned at the man standing with his arm around her daughter. “I don’t think she needs a bodyguard.”

Harper choked on a laugh at that description of Zaeed. “He’s a fairly good looking one though.  If you’ve got to have security, they should definitely be built like him.”

“Your father…”

Harper held a hand up to stop her. “Which one?”

“You spoiled brat. I should've...” Hannah flicked an annoyed glance at Hackett before turning back to her daughter. “Allan wouldn’t have wanted us to be at odds with each other.”

“Really?” Harper looked at her in amazement.  “He divorced you.  He was dying…terminally ill…and he finally had the courage to leave you.  Why would you think that he would want me to have any sort of relationship with you?  I know he gave all of my things to Hackett. He left everything to my…other dad.  He knew that you wouldn’t respect any of his wishes, so he screwed you out of everything.  It is really fitting, considering you screwed just about everyone else.”

“ _Harper_.” Hannah started towards her with her arm raised only to have Hackett’s grab her tightly be the wrist. “Let _go_.”

“I believe that I warned you about striking _my daughter_.” Hackett dragged her towards the door.  He shoved her into the arms of one of the armed marine that usually accompanied him. “Escort her back to her ship, and make she sure that she stays on it.”

With a snapped salute, Hackett waited until they were gone to step back into the office.  Harper looked from Zaeed’s smirk to Anderson’s shocked face and then over to the satisfied look on her father’s face.  _Men._  She asked the other two to give her a moment with Hackett.  Zaeed told her to meet him later at the bar.

“Harper.”  Hackett perched on the edge of Anderson’s desk.

“Dad.”  She had trouble calling him _‘Hackett’_ for some reason, to his face. It didn’t fit.  The problem was that when she called him ‘ _dad_ ,’ they both seemed to get a little choked up.  She scratched the back of her head and watched him uncomfortably. “The dog tags are in the crate that Zaeed put on the desk when we came in.”

“Would a hug help?” 

Harper nodded with a smile and let Hackett pull her into his arms.  “Sorry about mom.  She can be a real bitch sometimes.”

“Don’t be sorry.  I can deal with Hannah, if it means that I have you in my life.” Hackett tightened his hold on her. “I _love_ you very, very much.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Harper was sitting at one of the _nicer_ restaurants on the Citadel with Hackett, Anderson and Zaeed.  She glanced between the three men as they eyed each other in awkward silence.  She snickered as she bit into her sandwich. 

“Something funny, Sweetheart?” Zaeed asked.

She shook her head and focused her attention on Anderson. “So…I haven’t had a chance to talk to you since…I came back.”

“I’m sure what you actually mean is since I found out that your father is _Admiral_ Hackett.” Anderson spoke casually but Harper caught the seriousness underneath the façade.

“Admiral Hackett.”

The four at the table turned towards a Commander Coats that had just stepped up to the table.  Harper didn’t recognize him at all.  She liked the accent though.  He turned out to be a marine from London who was currently attached to Hackett’s _entourage._ He’d gotten really annoyed when she’d referred to the group of marines that generally travelled with him when he was in Council space.

_It made Harper want to call them that more often._

He’d taken her teasing in stride.  She caught the depth of emotion in his eyes behind the smile though.   The two of them were slowly becoming more comfortable with being family.   It made her wonder _how_ hard the years had been when he’d known but she hadn’t.

She ended up sitting between Zaeed and Coats.  She was halfway through her food when she realized that the hand on her knee was clenching so tightly it was starting to hurt.  She frowned up at Zaeed whose glare was focused on the man on her other side.

_“Zaeed?”_

“The bastard is flirting with you.” Zaeed growled into her ear.

She glanced at him in confusion. “He is?”

“Yes, he bloody is.”

Harper turned towards the handsome marine on her left who was smiling at her.  She hadn’t really heard a word that the man had said.  She was too busy trying to figure out how to respond to Anderson’s earlier conversation. 

_Had Coats been flirting with her?_

The Commander chose that moment to smile at her again and Zaeed just about broke her damn leg.  She flicked the top of his hand until he let go.  She rubbed her sore knee until it didn’t hurt quite so much.   She gave him a warning look and turned her attention to the _very_ confused Coats.

“Sorry, my…boyfriend is a little overprotective.” She gestured to the still fuming Massani.  She motioned over at Hackett as well. “My father can be that way as well.”

There was a prolonged silence at the table.  Hackett stared down at his plate.  Zaeed was still ticked off about the flirting.  Anderson appeared to be highly amused by something but Coats just looked…confused.

“Father?”

“Yep.” Harper went back to finishing up her meal and pretended to be completely oblivious to the glances being exchanged around the table.

It wasn’t until after the meal that Hackett pulled her aside before she could head back to the _Normandy_ with Zaeed.   She waited patiently while he finished talking to Anderson and sent him on his way.   Zaeed and Coats stayed as far apart as they could get.

“Something wrong?”

“You do realize that most of the Alliance is going to know that I’m your father.” Hackett had a guarded look on his face and Harper couldn’t tell how he felt about it.

“I know.”

“And?”

Hackett seemed completely stumped by her lack of concern. “I thought…”

“There’s only one person in the entire equation that did anything that she should be ashamed of.  I don’t think my mother is capable of feeling shame.” Harper had spent a lot of time thinking about this while Joker mined for minerals. “I don’t give a damn who knows.  You know…my…other dad wrote me a letter.  I think he meant to give it to me before I died.  But I was always a sneaky kid; I found it in his desk drawer that weekend I spent with him before the end.”

She walked towards the railing that looked over lower wards.  Hackett stayed close by her side.  She told him about the letter that she found.  Allan had wanted her to make it _official_ that Hackett was her father.  He had intended to divorce Hannah and while he would always be in Harper’s life.  He had apparently wanted to _make things right_ for Hackett.

It made sense now that Harper knew about Allan’s illness.  He had clearly wanted her to have someone at her back after he died.  None of them had ever thought that she might go first.  Hackett stared out into space as he tried to process what she was saying.

“He wanted to…” Hackett rubbed his fingers over his beard. “He never said anything to me about it in the last days.”

“He probably thought it would make you feel worse.” Harper got the feeling that Allan had felt a lot of guilt about keeping Hannah’s secrets all those years. “I’m not spending my second chance at life under a cloud of her… _shit._   Are you….I should’ve asked first.”

Hackett turned towards her and dragged her into a hug. “I’m stunned that you want to do it…and that Allan wanted it as well.  You can put a damn notice out to ANN for all I care.”

“I’ll let you figure out how the hell we make it all… _official._ ” Harper glanced around him to find Zaeed getting even antsier.  “I think maybe it’s time to get back to the _Normandy_.”

She got the feeling that Hackett needed a little time to process what they’d talked about.  He hugged her again and then walked over to Commander Coats.  She grinned at Zaeed who glared at the man until they both disappeared.

“Flirting bastard.”

“You’re losing your damn mind.” Harper dodged out of the way when he tried to swat her on the ass. “Jealous bastard.”

Once on the ship, Harper told Joker to head for Purgatory.  They needed to pick up the rest of the people on the list that the Illusive Man had given her.  The biotic that they found on the prison ship wasn’t quite what Harper expected.

Destroying Purgatory hadn’t been high on her list of accomplishments, but Warden Kuril didn’t quite leave her much choice.  She didn’t like the idea of being sold to the highest bidder.  Zaeed and Garrus seemed to take it rather personally when he tried to take Harper.  The turian ended up with two bullets between his eyes for his mistake.

_She was surrounded by overprotective individuals._

It was endearing and obnoxious.

With Jack settled underneath engineering, Harper decided to hang out with Zaeed while Joker made the jump to Korlus so they could pick up Okeer.  She stepped up to the door only to hear the aggravating chipper voice of Kelly.  She appeared to be pestering Zaeed for stories about bounty hunting. She rolled her head around working the kinks out of her neck and then stepped into the cargo bay.

“Commander.” Kelly’s smile faded at the look on Harper’s face.

Harper raised an eyebrow at her. “Is there a reason that you’re down here?”

“I…” Kelly trailed off as Harper stepped past her to stand in front of Zaeed.

She turned around and leaned back against his chest. “I think you should keep away from the lower deck, Chambers.”

“Yes…Commander.” Kelly backed slowly out of the room.

Harper twisted around once they were alone.  “Really?”

“She didn’t give me a bloody chance to get her out of the room,” Zaeed grinned unrepentantly at her.

“Right.”

“Jealous, Sweetheart?”

“What are you doing down here anyway? You’re supposed to be in my quarters.” Harper had to admit given what had happened earlier at the restaurant, it was kind of funny.

“You keep getting all pissed off when I throw knives at your aquarium. So I’m practicing down here.” Zaeed pointed at the crate behind her where she could see several knives sticking into a target.

“Commander Coats sent me a message. He seemed nice.” She hopped up to sit on one of the other crates in the room.  “He’s hanging out on the Citadel while my…while Hackett’s there.”

His eyes narrowed as he watched her.  He threw the last knife in his hand into the target.  Harper glanced over to find that it had hit the target dead center.  He was silent as he moved towards her.  He pulled her off of the crate and spun her around so she was forced to face away from him.

He pulled her arms behind her back and held her wrists tightly in his hand.  He reached up with his other hand to ease the collar of her shirt down until it rested underneath her breasts.   He held her still while he lowered the cups of her bra as well.  His fingers massaged the sensitive skin before dragging his fingers nails lightly over her nipples.

“ _No more goddamn flirting Commanders.”_ Zaeed licked a path from the back of her neck up to her ear.

“No more _goddamn_ flirting yeoman.” Harper shot back at him.

“I don’t share.” Zaeed spun her back around.

“Neither do I.” Harper grabbed the front of his shirt to yank him close enough that she could kiss him.  She thrust her tongue into his mouth. 

Sex with Zaeed had so far involved a lot of slow foreplay and gentle caresses.  There was nothing gentle or slow about the way that their tongues seemed to be fighting against each other. His hands drifted down her back to grip her ass firmly.   Her fingers went around his head to grip his hair tightly. 

He lifted her up against him and carried her over to the cot set up against the wall.  He dropped her down on it.  Pausing to kick his boots off and shove his cargo pants down, he ordered her to get bloody undressed.  She was about to argue with him but figured if she wanted clothes to leave with.  It would probably be wise to remove them herself.

He flipped her over so she was on her hands and knees.  It was a precarious position to be balanced on the damn cot.  He didn’t give her any warning before thrusting hard into her.   His fingers tangled in her hair as he forced her to meet the pounding pace that he started with. 

The ridiculous jealousy that they had both been feeling was channeled straight into their movements.  He flipped her around on her back.  He bent over so his chest rested against hers as he drove into her.  His lips and tongue ran along her neck.

There was no teasing this time.  They moved against each other until they both came together.  Zaeed gave one last hard thrust.  Their sounds were drowned out by the ominous crack that followed.  Harper cried out in surprise when the cot gave way underneath her.  She fell to the floor with Zaeed on top of her.

“Might’ve been a little goddamn jealous.” Zaeed chuckled as he lifted her out of the wreckage of the cot.

“Might?” Harper winced when he touched her back.  She twisted around trying to find the bruise.  Zaeed guided her over to the window so she could see her reflection.  There was a massive bruise across her back. “Damn.”

“Sorry, Sweetheart.”

“No. you aren’t.”  She laughed when he kissed the center of the bruise gently. “Love you, jealous bastard.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to MissMeggo929 for the idea.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Harper sat at the desk in her quarters watching the report from Khalisah al-Jilani for the tenth time.   The journalist had cornered Hackett on the way to a meeting at the embassy.  She had asked him about the rumor that _Commander Shepard_ was a traitor and working _for_ Cerberus.   She hit the _replay_ button once again.

_‘My daughter is no traitor.  She is currently investigating the mass disappearances that have been occurring on human colonies.  She is a hero.  I am a very proud father. Any further comment about my daughter or her current mission would endanger her life and the lives of others.  I have nothing further to say on the matter.’_

She pulled her legs up on the chair so she could rest her chin against her knees.  Her arms wrapped around her legs.  She reached out to start the vid over.  It wasn’t quite what she’d had in mind when she’d said that they could _go_ official. 

_A very proud father._

Her fingers grabbed the knit hat sitting on the corner of her desk.  She wiped the tears from her eyes with it.  She heard Zaeed move from the bed where he’d been reading up on Horizon.   They were on their way to the colony after she received the message from the Illusive Man about a possible attack.   

His message had been followed by one from Hackett about Alenko’s presence there.  He was investigating rumors about Cerberus.  Her dad hadn’t wanted her to be _surprised_.  She had the feeling that he preferred to not keep secrets from her.

_He was proud of her._

“I don’t think listening to that damn thing another time is going to change what the man said, Sweetheart.” Zaeed bent down to wrap his arms around her.  He rested his cheek against the top of her head. “Why don’t you send him a message before we reach Iera?”

“What am I going to say after that?” Harper gestured to the still playing vid on her terminal.

“Parents aren’t my thing, Sweetheart. I have no bloody clue. Maybe you should just say thanks? It works for me.” Zaeed reached out to stop the vid.  “I can’t hear this goddamn thing again.  I’ve got his fucking speech memorized at this point.”

“Your support is _greatly_ appreciated.” She tilted her head back so he could kiss her forehead.  She shifted her attention back to her terminal to pull up a chat window. “Go away.”

* * *

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Shadow Sea_

_From: Shepard_

_To: Hackett_

_S: Hi._

_H: Harper._

_S: I saw...Khalisah al-Jilani’s report._

_H: Did you?  I’ve received a number of messages about it from your mother._

_S: I bet she’s pissed_ .

_H: To put it mildly._

_S: How is the rest of the Alliance responding?_

_H: It appears to have been the worst kept secret in the Alliance._

_S: What does that mean in non-Admiral speak?_

_H: No one gives a damn._

_S: Oh good._

_H: How do you feel about it?_

_S: Fine. Good. It’s…_

_H: It’s?_

_S: You said that you were proud of me._

_H: I am._

_S: I’m with Cerberus._

_H: No, you aren’t with Cerberus.  You didn’t become a Cerberus operative.  And I have always been proud of you._

_S: We finally reached Horizon. I have to go._

_H: Harper. I love you._

_S: I love you too._

_S: Thanks._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

After the events on Horizon, Harper didn’t really feel like _talking_ to anyone.  She told Joker to head back to the Citadel.  Since she had already changed out of her armor into a Bruce Lee t-shirt and jeans, she stayed on the bridge.   She was out of the airlock once the ship docked before Zaeed even realized that she planned on leaving.  She stepped through the C-sec office only to have Bailey wave her over.

He told her that one of his officers had someone that needed to speak with her at one of the offices on the Presidium.  She hopped in a skycab to reach the upper wards.   She walked into the room and found her mother waiting for her.

_Shit._

“How dare you.”

Harper decided that staying by the door was a wise decision.  “How dare I what? You’re going to have to add a few more words to your accusation.”

“The entire Alliance now knows that I cheated on your father.  How the hell could you do that to me? I’m a laughing stock.  Do you know what they’re calling me behind my back?” Hannah was practically stumbling over herself in her own rage.

“I have no idea.  I don’t get to hear much scuttlebutt these days.” She was regretting her decision to leave the ship without Zaeed. “Was it really that much of a secret that you slept around?”

Hannah stormed across the room towards her.  “You did this. I know it. You told Hackett to do this. Why the hell else would he admit to being your father?”

“Maybe because he cares about me?”

“Admiral Hackett? The man is made of ice.  Why would he care? He was never there for you.” Hannah’s voice continued to rise.

“You never gave him a chance.” Harper usually managed not to get wrapped up in her mom’s bullshit.  The more the woman talked though, the angrier that Harper started to get. “How could he be there for me if he didn’t know I was his daughter?  You stole that from him.”

“You ungrateful little bitch.” Hannah slapped her.  “I’m your mother.”

“I am well aware of that unfortunate fact.” Harper grabbed her mother’s wrist tightly and bent her arm back. “You touch me again, and I swear that I will break my promise to dad.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I promised your husband that I wouldn’t ever snap back at you.” Harper squeezed her arm harder. “Stay the hell away from me.  I don’t want you in my life; I don’t want you around me.  I’d suggest that you even avoid talking about me.   Hackett wasn’t the only skeleton in your closet, and you should remember that I know _all_ of your secrets, mother.   _All_ of them.”

Storming out of the room, Harper left her mother in the office with a stunned look on her face.  She strode across the Presidium towards the nearest skycab terminal.  She was almost there when she caught sight of Hackett heading her way.

_Shit._

The last thing that Harper needed was for him to see her with what was sure to be a vivid _red_ mark on her cheek from the slap.  She tried to move faster but he still managed to reach her before the skycar arrived.   He started to pull her into a hug when he noticed the reddening on her face.

”Harper?”  Hackett reached a finger up to trace the hand print. He tilted his head to the side as he looked more closely at it. “Is Hannah on the Citadel?”

“What?”

Hackett’s eyes narrowed as he continued to stare her cheek. “When did this happen?”

“Does it matter?” Harper’s face was starting to hurt. It went great with the rest of her body still being sore from Horizon.  “I dealt with the problem myself.”

He placed his arm around her shoulders and guided her towards the embassy.  “David has scotch in his office.  You look like you could use a drink.”

Anderson seemed just as angry at Hannah’s continued behavior when Hackett explained what he believed had happened. Her mother had apparently gone to the Councilor’s office earlier trying to convince him to bring Harper to meet with her.   She’d moved on to Bailey when Anderson had refused.

The three of them were sipping scotch, though Harper made a face after her first sip.  She wasn’t a fan of the drink. But at this point, booze was booze.  The door opened to reveal the one person that she was hoping to avoid.  Hannah strode into the room like she owned the place.  She froze in the middle of the office when she caught sight of Hackett.

He set his glass _carefully_ down on Anderson’s desk and stood up to walk towards Hannah.  She started to back up but it was too late.  “Would you care to explain why my daughter appears to have a slap mark on her face?”

“Ask her.”

“Do I _look_ like the kind of man who enjoys playing games?  I believe that I asked you a question.  I suggest that you answer it.” Hackett kept her in the room with a firm hand on her arm.

“She insulted me.” Hannah tried to wrench her arm free from his grasp.

“Oh? What did she say?” Hackett asked with feigned concern.

“It doesn’t matter.” Hannah seemed to realize that repeated her conversation with Harper would only anger Hackett further.

He glanced back at Harper. “What did you two talk about earlier?”

“She accused me of forcing you to speak with Khalisah.  She also informed me that you were made of ice, didn’t care about me and weren’t there for me at all.”  Harper decided that was a concise enough version of her conversation with her mother.

The calm front that Hackett always seemed to portray cracked a little as he listened to Harper.  His jaw clenched tightly as he ignored the constant barrage of words from Hannah.   Anderson actually started out from behind his desk.  Hackett finally turned cold blue eyes towards Hannah.

“For over twenty years, I have watched someone else raise my daughter.  I celebrated her achievements and worried over her safety in private with no right to express any of it to her.  How the hell can you accuse me of not being there for her? I had no damn choice; you never told me who she was.” Hackett was slowly backing Hannah up to the door.

“You knew who she was when she was six years old. Allan told me that you saw that birthmark on her arm.” Hannah spat back at him.  “Why didn’t you fight for her?  You never wanted her.”

Hackett seemed to be trying very hard _not_ to backhand her. “I didn’t fight for her because she had what I assumed was a happy family.  I sacrificed _my_ rights so that she could _keep_ her happy family intact.  Allan was a damn good father.  Harper had already been stolen from one father; she didn’t deserve to have it happen again.”

“I…”

“We _are_ finished here, Captain.  I would suggest that you stay the hell away from me and _my_ daughter.  I will _not_ warn you again.  You ever lay a hand on her or suggest that I don’t love her with all of my heart and I will end your damn career.” Hackett glanced up to find Zaeed stepping into the office.   He backed Hannah through the open doorway. “Consider yourself restricted to your ship.  I will be letting both C-sec and the Alliance officers on the Citadel know.  You assaulted not only a Spectre but a fellow officer.  I _will_ make sure that goes in your record.  Now get the hell out of my sight.”

Hannah backed away from him in shock.  She looked over at Harper but she had nothing to say to her mother.   She kept her gaze focused on the glass in her hand.  Zaeed crouched in front of her to ask if she was ok. 

It had been touching…and amusing to watch Hackett rip into her mother.  Harper couldn’t help but think about the fact that he had known all these years and kept his silence for her sake.  He’d told her that before but she hadn’t…appreciated the pain that he must have gone through.

“Sweetheart?” Zaeed touched his fingers to her chin to lift her head up. “I don’t think scotch is that bloody interesting.”

“It’s disgusting.” Harper smiled at him and handed the glass over.  He sniffed the liquor before tossing it back and then setting it aside.  “Glad someone likes it.”

“I’ll go make sure that C-sec understands that Captain Shepard is _not_ allowed on the Citadel.” Anderson stepped out of the room after a quiet conversation with Hackett.

“I feel that I owe…”

Harper stood up and moved around Zaeed over to Hackett.  She shook her head before he could get the apology out.  “I love you.  I loved…love Allan.  He was a great father.  You would’ve been just a great, I think, given how amazing you’ve been since I found out.”

“Bloody family drama,” Zaeed grumbled.  “The next time that you feel like getting all goddamn fatherly in an interview, skip it.  If she makes me listen to that goddamn interview one more time, I might lose my mind.”

“ _Zaeed._ ”

“Sweetheart?”

“You’re sleeping in the cargo hold.” She glared at him.

“Where the hell was he sleeping before?” Hackett’s eyes narrowed at the man.

“Shit.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

The messages from her mother were frequent and increasingly vile over the next two weeks.  Every time that she checked her inbox after coming back from a mission on Illium, she seemed to find at least _one_ more message.   She hadn’t responded to any of them.

She also hadn’t told Zaeed or Hackett about them.  She continued to delete them without replying.   She even stopped reading them after the third or fourth one.  There was only so much that she could handle.

“Sweetheart?”

Harper shut down her omni-tool and glanced up at Zaeed. “Are we at Hagalaz yet?”

“Nope.” Zaeed sat on the coffee table in front of her and rested his hands on _her_ knees. “Why the bloody hell do you keep closing your messages when I step into the damn room?”

“Paranoid much, Massani?” Harper kept her eyes on his hands and tried to infuse a sufficient amount of humor into her voice.

Trying to avoid _interrogation_ from Zaeed, Harper got up and began prepping her armor for the upcoming rescue.  She didn’t think the Shadow Broker was going to take too kindly to their arrival on his ship.  She wasn’t really looking forward to walking around on the outside of a ship in the middle of an electrical storm.

Zero Gravity environments had never really bothered her before.  Mag boots worked impressively well and she’d excelled in her N-level training with them.  It hadn’t been the same after she died though.  A drift in space without oxygen had _not_ been a pleasant experience.

She kept her mind on her armor and off of dying.  “Can we talk about this after the mission?”

The suspicion and worry in Zaeed’s eyes grew but he finally nodded in response.  He moved from the coffee table to stand behind her.  He pressed his lips against the side of her neck.  Harper twisted her head to the side so their lips met. 

“We could bloody talk about it now.” Zaeed punctuated each word with a kiss.

Harper shook her head with a forced smile when Joker interrupted to let them know that they had arrived.  Liara was already waiting at the shuttle.  She pushed Zaeed away so she could get her armor on.   She’d deal with all of this later.

_Later was always good._

* * *

_From: Hannah_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: Meet me on the Citadel._

_And before you refuse, consider that while you may know the skeletons in my closet.  You can be certain that I know many of the skeletons in the closets of both of your fathers.  Is that motivation enough for you to return to the sweet natured daughter that you used to be?_

_It used to work so well when you were a teenager.  You never wanted to see Allan hurt, it was…sickeningly sweet.  I imagine that you’re going to feel the same for Steven.  So here’s what you’re going to do._

_You’re going to find a way to remove the restriction that requires that I remain on my ship.  I recommend that you work quickly have you ever known me to be patient?_

_And then we are going to get back to the wonderful mother-daughter relationship that we had._

_You know what I’m capable of; I’d hate to have to remind you in a less theoretical manner._

_Mom_

* * *

Harper bent forward as she closed her terminal.  She waved off Kelly’s concern and stepped up to the Galaxy Map.  She set a course for the Citadel.  They’d already finished on Hagalaz.  Liara was the new Shadow Broker.  She needed to contain this situation with her mother before it got worse.

She glanced over her shoulder to find Zaeed watching her with concern in his eyes. _Time to face the music._   She reached out her hand to him and tugged him over so he could read the message when he pulled it back up.  He slid his arms around her waist and she could _feel_ the anger growing in him.  She covered his mouth with her fingers when he started to speak.

“Wait,” she asked.  She twisted back around towards the terminal and pulled up a blank message.

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: Citadel._

_Are you still there?_

_I…need to talk to you about something._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: Citadel._

_I can meet you at the apartment that I’m using._

_If you can be here in a couple of hours, we can have dinner together.  I assume Massani will be with you._

_What’s wrong?_

_Dad_

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: re: Citadel._

_I can. He is._

_It’s something better talked about in person.  You’ll be able to yell at me which I’m sure you’ll find satisfying._

_Harper_

* * *

She let Zaeed pull her away from the terminal once she had finished sending the last message.  He was silent as they rode the elevator up to her quarters though his arm was a warm support around her back.  Hannah’s messages had filled her with a sense of anxiety and dread, but typing _Dad_ to Hackett had also given her a feeling of comfort.

“How long as the bitch been sending messages like that?” Zaeed poured himself a drink.  He’d made himself at home in her quarters including keeping a bottle of scotch and a set of glasses.  He offered her a sip but she waved it off.  “Answer my question, Sweetheart.”

“I don’t think she’s ever _not_ sent messages of that sort.” Harper knew that wasn’t what he’d asked.

Zaeed wasn’t going to be distracted by semantics.  They sat side by side on her couch and talked about the messages _in_ detail.  Harper thought it was a bit of a waste since she was going to have to answer the same questions for Hackett later on.   

She stretched out on her back on the couch with her head in his lap.  She decided to _sleep_ the rest of the way to the Citadel.  Zaeed just chuckled at her and told her the questions could wait.

Harper paced across the living room of Hackett’s apartment once they arrived.  She had pulled up her inbox on his private terminal to let him read through the most recent correspondence from Hannah.  His silence had been…increasingly filled with tension.  She could _see_ it in the clenched jaw .

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hackett asked once he’d finished reading through the messages that Harper hadn’t deleted.

“I am telling you.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Harper.”

“It’s…” She clung to Zaeed’s hand as she tried to find the right words to explain.  “My…Allan Shepard was a good father but he wasn’t a strong one.  He…I spent…you read her last message to me.  I spent a lot of time trying to protect him.  Going to him for help in dealing with my mom would’ve been pointless.”

“And?”

Harper stood up and crossed the room to sit next to Hackett.  She desperately wanted to not screw this all up.  She didn’t want Hannah stealing yet another thing from her life. “It’s hard to break the habit of needing to protect my dad.  You’re just as much my dad as he was.  But you aren’t the same man.  And I forgot that I can ask you for help.  I’m sorry. I need you.”

Hackett wrapped an arm around her shoulders and eased her closer to him.  He was silent for a long while.  She was afraid that she’d really hurt him which was the opposite of what she’d wanted to do.  His fingers tightened on her arm.

“I want you to send Hannah a message that you’re willing to meet her on the Citadel at the same office that you met her before.  I’m sure that Bailey would be agreeable to us borrowing it again.” Hackett exchanged a glance with Zaeed.

“Why?” Harper queried.

“You’re going to meet with her.  She’s just not going to know that she has more than an audience of one.” Hackett shifted on the couch so that he could look her in the eye. “The only way to stop her is to have concrete evidence of what she’s doing.”

“It’s about goddamn time someone did something about the bitch,” Zaeed muttered.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated her apology.

“Apology not accepted because it’s not necessary.” He tapped her chin with his knuckle. “I’m your dad.  It’s my job to protect you, even if you are a damn Commander in the Alliance and completely grown up.  I’m not angry or upset.  Hannah has _nothing_ on me that matters more than _your_ happiness and health.  She’ll find that I’m not quite so easy to intimidate.   And she will also learn that I am not willing to sacrifice _you_ for the sake of my own peace.”

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

The plan had been a good one in theory.  Bailey and Anderson had monitored the vid to ensure Harper’s safety from C-sec HQ while Hackett and Zaeed waited in the room that adjoined the one that she was in.  They had both wanted to be close enough to intervene.  It had unfortunately meant that they wouldn’t hear what was said until later.

Hackett hadn’t liked the plan.  He’d argued that someone closer to the two women should be able to hear what was going on.  He didn’t like the idea of her being alone with Hannah with a delay if things went wrong.  Hell. The truth was that he just didn’t like the idea of Harper alone with Hannah.

They were still anxiously pacing when Anderson sent a message that it was over.  They both rushed into the next room only to find it empty.  Hackett exchanged a confused and worried frown with Zaeed.

_Where the hell was his daughter?_

He told Zaeed to head to the _Normandy_ since Harper wasn’t answering her comm.  He made his way to C-Sec HQ to see the vid for himself while Anderson went to _delay_ Hannah’s ship from leaving.  The Councilor took a few Alliance officers with him in case they needed to take her into custody.

 _When they needed to take her into custody_.

The vid did nothing to improve his feelings towards Hannah.  It was almost too much for him to listen to as she raged at her daughter.  Underneath the ranting, he thought that he finally understood her motivations.  It didn’t really make it better though.

She had felt tied down by her husband.  The affairs let her feel free but then she’d gotten pregnant.  For the sake of appearances, she’d suddenly had to be careful, cautious and aware of what she was doing.  She’d had to be a mother.  It was apparently something that she wasn’t interested in.

The part that worried Hackett the most was the lies that Hannah had told about him and Allan.  Harper knew that her mother lied but he could see from the barely controlled flinch that her words had hurt nonetheless. He finished watching the vid when his omni-tool pinged.

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: Meeting._

_I’m sure you’ve already seen the vid so you know how spectacularly that it went._

_I’m fine.  Angry but fine._

_I just needed a little time to think.  I’m on the Normandy, but I’m not ready to talk to you…or anyone else about some of the things that she said._

_Harper_

* * *

Harper sat on her couch with an incredibly numb feeling in her heart. The meeting with her mother had been….painful.  She wasn’t sure she wanted to feel that anymore.  

Her mother was a liar. She knew that in theory.  She also knew that there was no way in hell what she’d said had been true.  The accusations rolled around in her head like a vicious echo of a nightmare.

In her head, Harper didn’t believe that Hackett would _ever_ have told her to have an abortion.  She also tried to remind herself that all three of her _parents_ had informed her that Hackett hadn’t known who she was until at the earliest her sixth birthday.  There’s no way that he could’ve been there in the early stages of her pregnancy.

_Shit._

“Sweetheart?”

She waved Zaeed away when he tried to hug her.  “I need to see my dad.”

“We just left the goddamn Citadel.”

“Then Joker can take us back. I don’t want him to think that I believe what she said.”  Harper headed for the elevator with Zaeed close behind.

The more she calmed down from the meeting, the better her mind was able to process everything.  They needed to talk this through now before Hackett had time to think about what Hannah had said.  It would hurt him a great deal if he thought for a moment that Harper believed any of it.

It seemed to take longer to make the jump back to the Citadel than it had to leave it.  She stood behind Joker’s chair much to his annoyance.  Zaeed stayed behind her with his arms wrapped around her.  She appreciated that he knew she wasn’t ready to talk about any of it yet.

Harper found Hackett in Anderson’s office.  He looked a little paler than the last time that she’d seen him.  His eyes lit up when she walked in. “Could you give us a moment, please Anderson?”

With a nod, Anderson stepped out of the room.  He paused to squeeze her arm lightly and continued out of his office.  Harper stood awkwardly in front of Hackett.  She wasn’t sure how to explain everything going on her mind.

“I didn’t want you to think that I believed what she said.”  She sank down in the chair that Anderson had vacated.

“Did you?”

“No…” She paused as she considered her answer.  He deserved the truth from her. “Not exactly.”

Hackett leaned back in his chair to stare up at the ceiling. “Which part?”

“You know which part.” Harper had no intention of repeating what her _mother_ had said. “I know that you’d never do something like that…the words still hurt though.”

“She’s been reassigned to Arcturus.  She doesn’t know that she’s under guard but she is.  She won’t bother you again.” Hackett stood up to start towards the door. “I need to get back to Arcturus myself.”

“Dad?”

He paused at the word and probably the tone in her voice. “You asked for space to think.  Perhaps it would be wise.”

“I didn’t mean…”

Hackett glanced back at her and the pain in his eyes stopped the words in her throat. “I’ll be in touch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that I will be getting back to happier...smuttier things for Harper...eventually.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Zaeed had left Harper in her quarters with an angry sense of purpose as he headed down to the CIC.  He told Joker to make sure that she didn’t leave the ship. EDI could lock her in for all her bloody cared.  He couldn’t take out his anger on her goddamn mother but he had a feeling that he knew how to ease her pain a little.

He stopped to speak with Anderson first who let him know that Hackett had already made his way to his ship.  The Councilor promised to have Bailey delay his departure indefinitely.  He seemed to agree with Zaeed’s assessment of the situation.

Sneaking onto the Alliance vessel was a little more complicated, it helped that Anderson had paved the way for him.  He was leaning against Hackett’s desk in his quarters when the man finally stepped into them.   He froze at the sight of the _intruder_.

“How the hell did you get in here?” Hackett didn’t seem to be amused by the intrusion.

“I’m taking you to the goddamn _Normandy_.” Zaeed got a firm hold on his arm and started to _walk_ him out of his quarters to the airlock. “Your daughter needs you.”

“She asked…”

“She’s fucking confused and hurt.  Her bitch of a mother trampled all over her memories and feelings.  She knows that the bitch lied.  You bloody fool.”  Zaeed kept his voice low as they made their way off of the ship and towards one of the other docking bays. 

“I am aware of all of that, Massani.” Hackett’s gaze was _icy_ but Zaeed ignored him and continued leading him towards the _Normandy_.

“You want to be her father? Then here’s how you fucking do it. You act like one.  You put aside your hurt and you help her with hers.  It’s that fucking simple.” Zaeed pushed him up against the wall of the _Normandy’s_ airlock while they waited for scan to complete.  “I know you have experience with that. You sacrificed everything for her for years.  So get your goddamn ass up to her quarters to talk to her.  She needs to know that at least one of her parents still loves her.”

Hackett tilted his head to the side while he looked at Zaeed with an assessing gaze. “You’re in love with her.”

“The fuck does that have to do with any goddamn thing,” Zaeed growled.

He didn’t respond to that as the airlock finally opened to reveal a very curious Joker staring at the two of them.  Zaeed rolled his eyes and dragged Hackett past the man and down the bridge to the CIC.  He pushed him into the elevator, reached in to press the first floor button and then stepped out of it.  The two of them needed some serious alone time to talk.

* * *

Hackett stepped into Harper’s quarters a few moments later to find her sitting on the couch.  “I think maybe we need to talk.”

She didn’t look up at him just shifted further down on the couch when he sat beside her.  He moved over to sit _next_ to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder to keep her from moving away again.  She still kept her eyes on the hands in her lap.

“My mother is a bitch.” Harper snapped then covered her mouth with her hand. He still heard the muffled ‘shit’ that followed.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“I know that she was lying.  It just happened to be a lie that…touched a sore sport.” Harper’s eyes flickered up towards him then back to her hands. “You’re a good man.  Honorable.  I know that you looked out for me…and my career even when I didn’t know.  Hell, you stopped those assholes from attacking me.”

“Harper…”

“I’m sorry.” She cut him off before he could say anything else. “Shit. This is hard. I’m trying to say that I love you.  I’m not willing to let her ruin…she can’t make you not my dad.  Shit. I’m usually much better at explaining things.”

Hackett shook his head with a smile and felt the tension he’d been feeling in his chest start to dissipate. “Zaeed didn’t drag me over here for _you_ to apologize.  I’m sorry.  I thought you needed space but I’m not sure that was right.”

“Oh?”

He pulled her over into a hug. “I think you need your dad right now.  You need him to tell you a few things.  Those things being that I love you _very_ much.  This was _not_ your fault.  You have _nothing_ to apologize for and most importantly, I am _always_ going to be your father.  Do you know what I would’ve done if Hannah had come to me before you were born to tell me that I was going to be father?”

“Uh. No?”

“I would’ve immediately talked with my lawyer to file to protect my parental rights.” He took a calming breath as he thought back to when he’d first realized that she was his. “Allan was a good man and…I stayed away _for you_ r sake and his.  At the end of the day, Hannah stole my chance at raising my child, the only one that I’m ever going to have.  I _would_ never have thrown that away lightly not for her or anyone else and _certainly_ not for my damn career.”

The prolonged silence in the room started to worry him.  He waited thought to see what her response was going to be.  He didn’t want to push her.

“Thanks.” Harper leaned her head against his shoulder. “Dad.”

 


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, I'm taking part in NaNoWriMo this year, so my updates on my ME stories might be a little slower than normal this month. If you're interested and have an AO3 account, I am posting the NaNo story here as well. It's titled: Why Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

In retrospect, Harper wasn’t sure that taking on the mission to Aite right after all her family drama had been the best idea.  Granted, when the Illusive Man had asked her to look into the emergency at the facility, no one had bothered to tell her the torture chamber that she was going to stumble upon.  The only satisfaction she felt at all was that Cerberus would _never_ again be able to harm David Archer.

Hackett had sent a ship to meet up with the _Normandy_.  She had transferred David over to their care.  He had promised to ask Kahlee Sanders to personally make sure that the young man was looked after.  Anderson had always spoken highly of the woman so she knew that he’d been safe.

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: Allan._

_You asked me to go through the boxes that he left to see if gather up some photos for you. I still don’t know why you just don’t come to Arcturus to go through them yourself.  I enjoyed seeing so many of your childhood memories._

_You can pick them up from Anderson on the Citadel._

_Love you,_

_Dad_

* * *

Harper hesitated on the stairs that led to the second floor of the apartment that she’d woken up in.  Zaeed, Hackett and Anderson were sitting in the living area closest to the bar.  She paused to eavesdrop on the conversation. 

She couldn’t really remember much from the past twenty-four hours. She remembered heading back to the Citadel and stopping in Flux to see Doran.  She’d been looking at the family photos with Zaeed. The rest was all a bit of blank space in her memory.

From the conversation between the three men, Harper had apparently gotten rather violently drunk.  The night had ended with her being held by C-Sec when she slammed her fist into a reporter’s face…on _camera_.  She was a little sad that she couldn’t remember that part.

“I should’ve done more.” Hackett stared at the glass in his hand.  The men had moved on to talking about Hannah’s latest attempts to discredit him. “I should’ve done more when she was a child.”

“Bullshit.” Harper stepped into the room.  He looked up at her with concern in his eyes. “You’re the best father that I _know_ and that includes the man who raised me.  What magical _more_ could you have possibly done?  I messed up.  I clearly needed to take shore-leave after dealing with mom.   I should’ve done that instead of heading to Aite.  I wasn’t ready to see what _family_ did to that poor boy.”

“Feeling better?” Anderson asked.

She sat on the edge of the couch. “Pounding headache aside, I feel great.  You’ve got a swanky apartment.”

Anderson smiled at her before standing up to get a few aspirin and some water for her. “It’s the only perk of having to deal with all the damn politicians.”

“How are you really feeling, Sweetheart?” Zaeed grabbed her arm and slid her across the sofa until she was beside him.

“Fine.”

“ _Harper_.”

“What?” Harper gratefully accepted the pain meds and water that Anderson held out to her.

“You were mumbling about King Solomon when I dragged you out of the bar.” Zaeed gave her a confused look. “Why?”

“I was drunk. I don’t remember.” She set the empty glass on the coffee table. “Oh. Wait. I do.”

“Well?”

“He cut the baby in half.” Harper leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.  The aspirin needed to kick in a lot faster.

“What the bloody hell are you talking about?” Zaeed ran his fingers up to her shoulders to gently massage some of the tension away.

“It’s a story that I remember Dad, Allan, telling me when I was little.  I didn’t understand the point.  I think…he was…I dunno.” Harper had never really figured out why he’d told her that particular story.  “Two women went before the King.  They were fighting over a baby, both claiming that it was theirs.  He told them that he’d cut the baby in half so they could each have part.  The baby’s real mother finally cried out to let the other woman have the kid.  She couldn’t stand to see her child hurt.  And that was how he figured out the true mother.”

Three identically confused looks were sent her way.   Harper rubbed her temples and groaned. It had all made sense the night before when she’d been drinking ryncol and beer faster than was probably wise.  Garrus and Zaeed had both tried to talk her out of it.  _Unfortunately,_ they were unsuccessful.

“I was wasted and it made sense.” Harper sagged against Zaeed with her head on his shoulder. “Ryncol should be illegal.”

_“Harper.”_

Her eyes were closed but she held her hand up in the general direction of her Dad. “Look, I think we should just toss this into the ‘Harper needed a mental break so she got completely drunk’ category and move on to more important things.”

“Like?”

“Hangover cures.”

 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

The more time that passed, the more Zaeed started to worry about Harper. They’d returned from the disabled collector vessel to head straight to Zorya.  It had not gone all that bloody well.

He got the bastard that he’d been hunting for _years._ The price that he paid wasn’t really his own.  Harper had agreed, not very easily, to leave the workers to chase after Vido.  The workers had died before they could get back to them.

The look on her face reminded him of how she’d look right after Torfan.  _Haunted._ It was something that he had hoped to never see again.  The blame this time rested squarely on his own bloody shoulders.

He might as well have punched himself in the damn gut.  Harper refused to talk to him.  She had gone straight to her quarters and climbed into bed.  He couldn’t even get her to kick off her boots or change out of her fatigues.  She pulled the blanket all the way over his head and didn’t even acknowledge his presence in the room.

_What the bloody hell was he supposed to do now?_

He ended up sleeping in the fourth deck.  He’d gone down to check on Joker since Harper had told the pilot to scan the nearby systems for minerals.  When he headed back up to the first deck, EDI informed him that the _Commander_ had requested that she be left alone…by _everyone_.

It was two days later when he finally saw her again.  The _Normandy_ had docked on the Citadel hours earlier. He stayed in the CIC in the hopes that he might see her. 

Harper stepped out of the elevator after what he figured she must’ve assumed was long enough for _everyone_ to be off of the ship.  She was wearing her fatigues, well the bottom half, with a vintage rock band t-shirt and boots.  She had her black knit slouchy hat pulled down low on her brow.

“Sweetheart?”

She canted her head to the side as he stepped into her path. “Not right now, Massani.”

“Massani?” He frowned at the use of his surname. “Since when do you…”

“Let me pass.  I’m not…I can’t…” Harper closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath.  Her eyes snapped back open to pin him with a piercing stare. “I suppose that I will always live up to being the _Butcher of Torfan_.”

“Harper…”

She didn’t let him finish his sentence.  With a move that took him completely by surprise, Harper grabbed him by the front of his armor and swept his legs out from under him.  She left him on the ground and dodged around the arm her threw out to stop her.

“Oh fucking hell.” He got to his feet and raced to the bridge only for the airlock to already be shut.  She was gone when he finally got through and off of the ship. He slammed his fist against the railing. “Damn bloody woman.”

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: Butcher of Torfan._

_I lived up to my moniker a few days ago._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: Torfan._

_Torfan was a command mistake that was not your responsibility._

_You did your job.  You are not a butcher._

_What happened?_

_Dad_

* * *

Not bothering to respond to his message, Harper stood up from the bench that she’d been sitting on to go see Anderson.  She needed…advice…that wasn’t biased.  Hackett would always be prejudiced towards her.

It wasn’t even that she was angry with Zaeed.  He had done exactly what she expected from him.  He had gone after Vido without caring about the collateral damage.  It was her job to worry about those in the wake of his revenge.  She’d failed to do that though. 

_She should’ve argued with the stubborn bastard more._

She had intended to do so but then Zaeed had brought up the night that they met.  She had…remembered seeing him surrounded by Blue Suns.  She had let that cloud her judgment.  He deserved his revenge after all.  

The trouble was that now there were _new_ sets of screams that haunted her dreams.  Harper wondered briefly how many more it would take until she never slept again.  She chuckled a little at the slightly over-dramatic tinge to her thoughts. 

_It would’ve been funny if it weren’t true._

She was almost at the embassy when her omni-tool beeped again.  She glanced down to find an incoming hail from Zaeed.  She hit ignore only to have a second one pop up.  She was trying to figure out how to block him permanently…if only temporarily when her hat was plucked off of her head.

 _“Massani.”_ She glared at him as she shut down her omni-tool. “Give me my damn hat back.”

With a deep sigh, Zaeed held the hat out to her.  She snatched it from him and moved quickly around him to head up to Anderson’s office.  She paused on the steps when she realized that he was following her.

“Zaeed.” She held her hand up to stop him on the steps. “I can’t deal with this right now. Please? Just…go away and leave me in peace for a bit.”

“Sweetheart.”

 _“No.”_ She bit down hard on the inside of her cheek to keep the tears back. “I can’t. Just…it’s not enough that I have all the family bullshit on my shoulders.  You just had to put me in an untenable position.  I didn’t have a damn choice. Side with the man that I love? Or save a refinery full of people? I don’t know if I made the right decision. But I do know that there is more blood on my hands.”

“Stop bloody walking away from me.” Zaeed raced up the stairs after her as she turned to go. 

Harper ignored him and continued towards Anderson’s office.  She frowned down at the hand that clamped on her shoulder before she could step inside. “Let go.”

“Not until you fucking talk to me.” Zaeed spun her around to face him.

“If we talk right now, Massani, you won’t like the direction the conversation goes.  I’d rather not _risk_ ending our relationship. So take my advice, and leave me alone for a little bit.” She shoved him away from her and stepped into Anderson’s office.

He wisely followed her advice and didn't walk into the office with her.  Anderson looked up from his desk with concern in his eyes. She waved him off and sank down into the chair across from him with a groan. 

"How can I help?"

"Pretend that I'm not here." Harper pulled her hat down over her eyes. 


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

“Damn it.”

Harper bent over with her hands on her knees to catch her breath.  Sweat poured off of her.  She’d been pushing herself through every damn martial arts routine that she knew.  She’d gone through four or five different disciplines as well.  It hadn’t done a thing to clear or head or improve her mood.

The gym had been empty when Harper arrived.  Anderson let her use his access code.  He knew that she needed some time to herself.  She sank down on her knees and then shifted into the seiza position.  She took calming breathes that didn’t help either.  She couldn’t seem to capture the calm that usually came with it.

Deciding that it was pointless, Harper headed out of the gym.  She was soaked with sweat and a shower was _definitely_ in order.  She didn’t want to risk running into any Alliance or C-sec officers…or Zaeed.  Anderson was letting her crash at his apartment for a few days so she hopped in a skycab to make her way across the Citadel.

_She desperately needed a break._

_And not…a breakdown._

“You might contact _Admiral Hackett._ ” Anderson called out as she passed by the living room to head up to the second floor bedroom that she was using.

“Why?” Harper paused halfway up the stairs.

“I have run out of excuses for why you haven’t answered his messages.  So unless you want him to either show up here himself or send someone to _retrieve_ you for him.  I suggest that you message your damn father.” Anderson winked at her and then disappeared into his office muttering into a recorder.  

He’d been working on a book or something.  He was also talking to himself about it.  She found it highly amusing and frustrating since he wouldn’t let her listen to any of it.

The much needed shower came first on her list of priorities.  She stepped out and changed into a clean pair of jeans and another vintage rock t-shirt.  She decided to let her hair dry by itself.  She was about to message her dad when voices drew her attention.

She headed over to the balcony that looked over the first floor of the apartment to find Anderson in conversation with _Admiral Hackett._   Both men looked up at her when she threw her damp towel down at her dad.  He grabbed it out of the air before it hit him in the head.

“Mind coming down so we can talk?” Hackett tossed the wet towel to Anderson who glared at him in response.

“I do actually, kind of tired.” Harper mumbled so low that she was surprised either of them heard her.

She generally preferred to face everything head on.  She couldn’t seem to get the courage to tell either her father or the man that she considered to be her mentor that she’d voluntarily left dozens of people to die.  With a sigh, she turned around to head back into the bedroom. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Harper leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees and buried her face in her hands.  Her hair fell forward like a shield.  It reminded her of the game that she used to play with…her other dad when she was little.  She’d close her eyes and pretend that if she couldn’t see him…he couldn’t see her. 

_Damn._

_She missed him._

“Anderson has decided to go pick up dinner for the three of us.  It’s going to take him an hour.” Hackett sat on the bed beside her.  He nudged her lightly with his elbow. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

“Zaeed…” Harper lifted her head to run her fingers through her hair to push it back out of her eyes. 

“Do I finally get to kick the bastard’s behind?  I’d really love to. It would make my entire month to knock some sense into him,” he chuckled.  Hackett had never really _approved_ of the two of them. Or…maybe it was just Zaeed that he didn’t necessarily like.

“No.  I made the decision on my own.” Harper refused to let Zaeed take the blame. 

 At the end of the day, she could and probably should’ve taken Garrus with her to go after the workers.  She struggled with it when they were on Zorya and finally decided against it.  If something happened to Zaeed, she’d never have been able to forgive herself for not being with him.

_She’d lost too damn much already._

Taking a deep breath, Harper pushed through fear that she felt to tell him about the mission.  She kept her eyes focused on her hands.  She didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes.  Her curiosity got the better of her though when he stayed silent.

“Remind me to ask Anderson to tell you about the time that he saved Kahlee Sanders.” Hackett lifted his arm to pull her into a sideways hug. “You made the best decision that you could in an impossible situation.  One person would not have made it through that refinery alone.  And there is no guarantee that you could’ve saved any of those people.  You are a good marine and an amazing person.  Stop beating yourself up.”

“Dad.”

“Nope. I don’t want to hear another damn word about how you…failed. You didn’t fail.” He gripped her jaw firmly in his hand so she couldn’t look away. “The price that we pay for being in command is that sometimes…we make decisions that cause others to lose their lives.  You have to remember the good that you do…and promise yourself to do better next time.  End of story.”

“But…”

 “The only ‘butt’ that I’m interested in is the one that I fully intended to kick all the way back to the Terminus Systems.” Hackett smiled when she laughed at him. “Laugh it up.  He hurt my daughter…he will pay dearly for that.”

“I can handle Zaeed Massani just fine.” Harper leaned into the hug. 

She tuned out what Hackett was saying about Zaeed to consider what he’d been talking about earlier.  She supposed that he had it right.  It was similar to what her other dad had said about Torfan when it happened. 

_‘There isn’t always a right or wrong, sometimes you just do the best you can with the information that you have at the time.  You can’t regret your decisions, kid.’_

Her ‘dads’ were both career military men.  She figured that it was about time that she took their advice.  The weight of everything was just too much for her to hold on to for such a long time. 

Anderson chose that moment to arrive with dinner.  She told Hackett to head down.  She needed to send a quick message to Zaeed.  He could meet her at Anderson’s apartment so they could talk.

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: Hi._

_I’m hanging out at Anderson’s apartment._

_Here’s the coordinates._

_I’ll be here for a few days._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Zaeed_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: Hi._

_It’s about goddamn time._

_I’ll be there in ten minutes._

_Zaeed_

* * *

She briefly considered warning him about the other occupants of the apartment but then reconsidered.    Her dad would probably have a few words for him as well.  She would consider that fitting payback for the drama on Zorya.

 


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Hackett asked Anderson to _distract_ Harper.  He had a few choice words for Massani when he arrived.  His daughter had made him promise to avoid actual physical violence. He reluctantly agreed to not cause any permanent damage.

_Holding him by the throat against a wall hadn’t left a single permanent mark on the bastard._

“Where the bloody hell is Harper?” Zaeed shoved Hackett away from him.

“We need to clear a few things up before I _let_ you anywhere near _my daughter._ ” Hackett stood his ground.  He kept a hand on Zaeed’s chest to hold him against the wall.

Zaeed gave him a stony glare in response.

“Hurt my baby again and they’ll be finding the tiny pieces of you adrift in space for months.” He moved on to _less_ menacing threats. “I know that you remember how hard Torfan was for Harper. I don’t understand how you could force her to make another decision like that.”

There really wasn’t a response that Zaeed could give Hackett that would make him feel _better._ He spent an hour impressing upon Zaeed the _dangers_ of hurting Harper again.  He knew that she could fight her own battles, but…that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to beat the bastard to a bloody pulp if he felt the need.

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Joker_

_Subj: Normandy._

_Tell Miranda that we’re taking an extended shore-leave._

_I’ve got a few things…to handle here._

_Harper_

* * *

Shutting down her omni-tool, Harper grinned over at Anderson. They’d snuck over to the second floor balcony to eavesdrop on the conversation between Hackett and Zaeed.  She was…speechless.

She would _always_ miss Alan but Hackett would be there for her.  Not just be there, he’d stand between his daughter and the world if need be.  She scrubbed her eyes with her sleeve before Anderson caught sight of the tears.

“Go talk to them.” Anderson nudged her elbow lightly. “They haven’t killed each other yet.  Let’s intervene before that changes.”

“Why? It’s highly entertaining to watch the two of them,” Harper muttered.

“It is better than a Shakespearean tragic comedy.” Anderson grabbed her by the shoulders to push her towards the stairs. “I refuse to let them destroy my apartment so go talk to your boyfriend and send your father up here.”

She took the steps two at a time as she wandered across the living room to where Hackett still held Zaeed up against the glass wall by the door.  She placed her hand tentatively on his back.  He stepped away from Zaeed and pulled Harper over with his arm around her shoulder.

“Anderson wants to talk to you.” She raised an eyebrow at Hackett.

“I’m busy.” He glared at Zaeed and refused to budge away from her.

With a snicker that she barely managed to smother with her hand, Harper told Zaeed to wait where he was as she pulled Hackett over towards the bar in the far corner of the apartment.   She sent her _boyfriend_ a warning look when he started to follow them.

She perched on one of the bar stools while Hackett all but _seethed_ in Zaeed’s direction.  “I think it would be best if he and I have _our_ conversation somewhere that you can’t interrupt.”

“Harper.”

“Dad.”

“ _Fine._ ” He threw one last scowl at Zaeed before heading up to the second floor of the apartment.  He paused on the first step to give one last threat. “Just remember, Massani, I have command of every single fleet in the Alliance.  I _have_ no problem abusing my authority to protect my little girl.”

Harper had been walking over to Zaeed.  She stopped and changed direction to meet Hackett on the stairs.  She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against the front of his uniform. She answered his murmured ‘ _I love you.’_ He still grumbled under his breath as she left the apartment with a smirking Zaeed at her side.

They were silent as they walked through Tiberius Towers and out on the strip.  She briefly thought about heading to the Casino.  She opted instead for the privacy of her dad’s apartment on the Citadel.  She still had the code for it. 

Once they arrived, Zaeed poured both of them a glass of scotch and then sat on the couch.  She paced in front of him mentally berating him without actually saying a damn thing.  She continued muttering under her breath until she walked straight into a hard body.

She glanced up to find that he’d moved from the sofa to stand in front of her.  His fingers gripped the front of her hoodie tightly.  He slid his other hand into her shirt to rest on top of her shoulder.  He gently massaged her while he waited for her to say…something.

“You are a goddamn bastard.” Harper shoved the palm of her hand against his chest.  “You…”

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart.” He leaned down for a kiss but Harper tilted her head away from him. His lips grazed against the edge of her ear instead. “So very bloody sorry.  I was fucking wrong.”

“Yep.”

“Are you planning on forgiving me?” Zaeed let his fingers drift along her shoulder until he reached her neck. “Please, Sweetheart?”

“Maybe.” Harper found herself being dragged towards the sofa. 

He pressed her gently down and swiftly climbed up over her.  “Harper.”

“ _Massani.”_

“It’s _Zaeed._ ” He lifted his head up to meet her gaze.  She had to take a deep breath at the intensity in his gaze.  “It’s goddamn Zaeed.  I don’t like it when we’re not together, Sweetheart.”

“I love you.” Harper reached up trembling fingers to touch the scar near his eye.  “Don’t do that to me again.  I can’t…just…don’t.”

“I promise.” He brushed his lips against hers this time.

“What. _The_. Hell. Are. You. Doing?” Hackett grabbed the back of Zaeed’s shirt to yank him off of Harper.

Harper rolled off of the couch as she laughed until her sides hurt.  She sat up but still couldn’t stop the fit of giggles.  The two men stood over her with equally annoyed looks on their faces.  It didn’t help matters just made her laugh even harder.

“We should’ve left a sock on the door.” Harper choked out the words between laughs.  

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Zaeed stormed angrily through the hallways on Arcturus.  He’d told Joker to make the hop to the station.  Since they were no longer with Cerberus, they weren’t risking arrest by docking.  He shoved Hackett’s secretary out of the way and entered the man’s office.

“Where the bloody hell is she?” Zaeed reached across the desk to grab Hackett by the front of his uniform.  He yanked him out of his seat and across the desk. “Where the fuck is she?”

“Put me down, Massani.” Hackett calmly raised an eyebrow at him as he gestured behind Zaeed. “Do it now or you’re going to get yourself shot.”

Zaeed ignored the cluster of marines by the door with pistols in their hands. “I don’t give a fuck. Where is Harper?  We picked up the Reaper IFF, handled the Geth problem and then blew up the Collector base. We’re supposed to be in drydock on the Citadel. But no, she has to go do a fucking favor for _her dad._ She’s been gone for two days.”

Hackett waved the group of soldiers out of his office.  With the door once again shut, he brought his arms up and snapped them down hard on Zaeed’s to break his hold.  He shoved the man away from him.  Before Zaeed could grab him again, the Admiral was holding a pistol straight at his chest.

“Take another step and I’ll shoot you myself.” Hackett waited until Zaeed took a few steps back.  He set the weapon on his desk. “She went to rescue a research scientist that had been grabbed by batarians.  She’s…we lost contact with her after they escaped the prison.”

“You lost contact with her.” Zaeed didn’t care if the bastard had a gun on him.  He’d snap his fucking neck before he got a chance to reach for it again. “What about the rest of her squad?”

“She went alone,” he said regretfully.

“Alone?” Zaeed twisted his neck around a little to try to ease the tension that he felt building.  It didn’t work.  He stalked across the room again. “I’m going to find her.  And if I don’t find her safe, there won’t be enough of you left for them to find pieces of.”

He had no interested in what the man’s response would be.  He walked purposefully out of the office and through the still waiting armed marines.  The _Normandy_ was ready to leave the moment that he made it through the airlock. Joker apparently had the same level of anxiety over Harper’s absence.

They made it to the Viper Nebula in record time.  The ship entered the Bahak system and a second later, an SOS was received from the research base on the asteroid.  She was alive.

_Alive._

The person from the Alliance Comm Relay hadn’t given them a status on Harper.  He had only been able to offer the coordinate.  Zaeed had faced an entire base of batarians before, and who knows what had happened on that asteroid.  He expected her to be waiting when the airlock oepend.

_She wasn’t._

He raced out of the airlock with Garrus close behind.  Harper’s boot caught his attention near the comm station.  The rest of her was hidden by a destroyed mech.  She was out cold.

Zaeed lifted her gently up into his arms.  Garrus pointed to the relay that the asteroid was fast approaching. They needed to get the hell out of Bahak.  They ran back to the _Normandy._

As Joker guided the shape quickly through the relay before the asteroid destroyed it, Zaeed had Garrus send a message to Arcturus.  He wanted to get Harper down to the Med Bay. 

She showed no signs of waking up as Zaeed tried to keep from jostling her too much.  He laid her gently on a bed and started to ease her armor off.  Chakwas did a thorough check-up of her vitals. 

The majority of Harper’s injuries were from a day or so ago.  Chakwas grew increasingly concerned at the state of some of the burns on her arms.  She couldn’t understand why medi-gel hadn’t been used immediately.

Aside from the burns, Harper had a concussion.  Between the burns and the blunt force trauma, Zaeed had feeling that she’d been up close to at least one explosion.  He perched on the edge of the bed and held her limp hand while the doc worked on her.

Three very long hours passed with no change in her, Harper hadn’t so much as blinked.   Joker had been ordered to fly the _Normandy_ to Arcturus. Since technically, none of them were Alliance at the moment, the pilot had flipped them the bird and flown to the Citadel instead. 

He knew that Moreau considered Harper to be one of his only friends.  He didn’t approve of her having gone on the mission.  Neither man thought that she’d have said no to Hackett.  He was her dad, the only _real_ family that she had left.  She’d cut her own arm off before she’d disappoint the man. 

He pulled up his omni-tool.  There were a few things that he though _Admiral Hackett_ needed to hear.  He had a feeling if he tried to say them in person, he might just kill the bastard.  Harper probably wouldn’t be able to forgive him for that.  She’d already lost one father, and her mother was a complete fucking waste of humanity.

* * *

_From: Zaeed Massani_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: Your precious daughter._

_I am sitting on a bed in the Normandy’s Med Bay.  Your daughter was found underneath the wreckage of a mech on the asteroid.  She’d been trying to send a message to the inhabitants of the Bahak system.  We found her just in time to escape before the relay was destroyed along with the system itself._

_Your friend who need rescued was indoctrinated as far as we can figure.  Harper managed to stop the fucking reapers, or at least delay them._

_Next time you need a fucking covert op handled, maybe you should send someone that you can afford to fucking lose.  The only bloody reason that I’m not telling you this in person is that I’m not sure that I can restrain myself from causing permanent death to you._

_Harper is currently unconscious. We found her that way.  She hasn’t moved in three hours._

_Not sure if you fucking care, but thought you’d like to know._

_The Normandy isn’t an Alliance vessel so we’re heading to the Citadel. It’s neutral territory._

_Harper can contact you if she wants when she wakes up._

_Zaeed_


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Knowing that there would be absolutely no point in responding to Zaeed’s message, Hackett instead turned his attention to packing a bag and getting transport to the Citadel.  He also started working on damage control.  The batarians wanted Harper’s head on a platter and no way in hell was he giving it to them.

Anderson intervened with the Council and then left them for Udina to takeover.  He could do more to help salvage Harper’s career than Hackett could.  He’d _officially_ come out as her father.  It would unfortunately tie his hands a bit as far as the rest of the brass was concerned.

The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on Hackett.  He knew that part of Zaeed’s extreme anger had to do with the fact that he had threatened the man for placing Harper in a difficult position that ended up with blood on her hands.  And now he had done the same damn thing to his daughter.

_Screw the rest of the admiralty._

This was his daughter.  He refused to let them throw her to the batarians like some sort of sacrificial lamb.  The Alliance had spent too much time letting Harper take the fall for things that weren’t her fault.  He wouldn’t allow this to become Torfan all over again. 

As waited for the ship to make the jump to the Widow system, Hackett sent out a series of messages.  He was owed favors by just about everyone that mattered amongst the Alliance and other politicians that had enough pull to make a difference.  Where he had no favors, he opted for threats of revealing secrets that he’d kept over the years.

He’d end up burning a few bridges but none of that mattered.  He might not be able to erase it but he could lessen the impact.  Over the course of two hours, he managed to have the charges reduced, to postpone her hearing indefinitely and convince the defense committee that turning anyone over to the batarians would be political suicide.

Major Alenko returned from his mission with the biotic team to Vancouver.  He’d spend some time with his family and be there as a witness on Harper’s behalf.   The Quarians had also surprisingly offered their support. 

Since Doctor Chakwas was a _respected_ member of the Alliance, despite her recent affiliation with Cerberus.   He asked her to offer her own report of what she’d seen while serving on the _Normandy._   Anderson would head to Earth _with_ Harper.  It would make more of an impact.

It might just be enough to save her career.  Hackett managed to convince them that tossing _Commander Shepard_ into the brig would be a terrible idea.  The Defense Committee decided that she would be sent to the slightly cushier detention center in Vancouver.

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: Awake._

_Hi,_

_I’m awake._

_Zaeed is extremely pissed off at you.  He won’t tell me what he said to you.  I tried explaining to him that the mission wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.  It’s not like I haven’t done covert ops alone for the Alliance before this one._

_I’m attaching my complete report of what happened on the asteroid.  I’m also including the findings from Kenson’s research team._

_She kept me sedated for two days.  I fought but I ran out of ammo and an exploding mech knocked me into a wall.  When I woke up, it was too late to warn the batarians.  I was almost too late to get off the damn asteroid myself._

_The Hegemony probably wants my severed head on a silver platter._

_Where the hell are you anyway? I tried to vid-comm you at your office and apartment._

_Love you,_

_Harper_

_PS: I don’t care what Zaeed’s ranting about.  This wasn’t your fault._

* * *

Harper sat on the edge of the Med Bay bed as Chakwas gave her one final check-up.  She kept insisting that she was _perfectly_ fine.  Her shoulder hurt but that was about it.  She had gained a limp as well.  The doc told her to rest for a few days and both of those should disappear.

She let Zaeed lift her down from the bed.  He kept an arm around her waist for support.  She felt his arm tighten suddenly and she looked up to see Hackett approaching.

The stubborn bastard took her along for the ride as he stormed towards the Admiral.  Harper had to carefully ease herself between them to stop him from hitting her father.  Hackett wrapped a protective arm around her when she wouldn’t let him push her out of the way.

“It _wasn’t_ his fault, Zaeed.” Harper decided to start with logic which from the annoyed growl that Zaeed uttered was obviously a mistake.

“He’s your father; you’d do whatever the fuck he wanted in spite of the consequences.” Zaeed reached out for her but Hackett eased her out of reach. “I’m not trying to hurt _her_ , you goddamn bastard.”

“Yes, he is my father.” She brought her hands up to rest on the arm that held her tightly. “I think you should calm down.”

“Calm. Down.  You _think_ I should calm down.” Zaeed promptly did the exact opposite. “How the bloody hell can you not see that he fucked up?”

“I can’t see what isn’t there.  He asked me if I was interested in the mission. It wasn’t an order.  I reviewed the details and accepted it.  No one knew that Kenson had been indoctrinated.  She was supposed to keep the relic locked up to avoid that.” Harper shifted her shoulder a little.  The pain meds that Chakwas had given her weren’t strong enough to block out a pissed off Massani. “Why are you so damn upset with him?”

“He put blood on your hands after threatening me with imminent death for doing the same bloody thing.” Zaeed gestured wildly at Hackett.

“Zaeed.” Harper rubbed her forehead with a tired groan. “If you can’t see the difference between what happened on Zorya and Aratoht, then…why the hell am I arguing about this?  I’m tired. I’m going up to my quarters.”

“ _Harper_.”

She shoved frantically at the arm around her until Hackett released her.  She limped as quickly as she could with the excruciating pain that she felt.  They easily caught up with her before she made it through the mess to the elevator. 

Zaeed stepped in front of the door. “I wasn’t finished.”

“I was.” Harper shifted back so she could use the wall as support. “It’s not _his_ damn fault.”

“Then whose fault is it?” Zaeed snapped at her despite Hackett moving between them.

“Mine. I am the Butcher of Torfan after all.” Her tentative control over her emotions shattered.  She slammed the palm of her hand against his chest. “It’s my fucking fault.  Just like Torfan.  My hands are always going to be covered in blood. So if you want to _yell_ and _curse_ at someone, I’m the one to direct it at.  I made the decision that caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of batarians.”

“It…”

“Stop.” Harper ducked around him and into the open elevator. “Leave me alone.   I have enough death on my shoulders.  I’d rather not have to worry about the man that I love killing my dad or vice versa for that matter.”

“Well, shit,” Zaeed muttered as he watched the door close in his face.

Once the doors were closed, Harper slammed her fists repeatedly into the elevator wall.  She didn’t stop until she’d exhausted herself and her hands throbbed painfully.  She limped over into her quarters so she could collapse face first on the bed after she ordered EDI to seal the room.

 


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fair Warning: I'm AU'ing parts from here on out. Nothing super major.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly
> 
> Shout out to MissMeggo for help.

Hackett placed his hand against the closed elevator door. “You aren’t the sort of man that I want dating my daughter.  I think I’ve made that fairly obvious.  You are however the kind of soldier that I’d choose to have her back.  She’s going to need you. I’ve managed to deflect most of this, but the batarians will be very angry.  Keep her safe.”

The angry retort that Zaeed had clearly intended to snap back at him with died away as he caught sight of the haggard lines on his face.  Hackett hadn’t gotten much sleep in the last few days.  He felt like he’d aged another twenty years.  The door finally slid open and both men stepped inside.  As it closed, Zaeed leaned forward.

He brought his fingers up to touch something dark on the surface.  He showed the tips of his fingers to Hackett.  They were stained red with blood.  Glancing at the door, he gauged the height to be about the right level for a fist if Harper had punched the elevator a few times.

EDI confirmed that the Commander had experienced a momentary loss of control while inside the lift.  The Commander had also ‘requested that her quarters be sealed.’  The AI had _conferred_ with Joker who suggested that it was ok to disregard the order just this once. 

“You go first.”

Hackett’s eyes narrowed at Zaeed suspiciously. “Why?”

“I think she needs her _old man_ more than she needs her boyfriend who she’s currently pissed off at,” Zaeed shrugged casually.

“Coward.”

“Have you seen your daughter fight? I’m attached to my goddamn balls, thank you very bloody much.” Zaeed joked though the laughter in his voice didn’t match the anger and worry in his eyes. “I’m more likely to cause her to go into a rage.  That’s not what she needs.”

_“Coward.”_

“You’re goddamn right.” Zaeed used his elbow to guide Hackett closer to the closed door.

Before either of them could enter her quarters, the door opened to reveal Harper standing with her right hand held gingerly by her left.  She stopped short when she caught sight of the two men in front of her.  Rolling her eyes at them, she squeezed between their bodies to head over to the tap the button for the elevator.

“Harper.”

“You can berate my stupidity after I get some medi-gel for my hand.” She twisted her head to the right when Hackett moved up to gently grasp her by the shoulders to lead her back into her quarters. “Dad?”

“Zaeed will go down to the Med Bay to obtain several packets of medi-gel.  You and I are going to have a little _talk_.” Hackett stared pointedly at Zaeed first and then down at his daughter.

Before Hackett could say anything beyond that, EDI interrupted to let Harper know that she had a hail from _Captain Hannah Shepard_ over the vid-comm.  He felt his daughter tense up immediately.  He made a quick decision to lead Harper over to the couch and force her to sit down.

Stepping back over to her terminal, Hackett told the AI to patch Hannah through.  He’d given the _Captain_ ample warnings over the past few months to stay the hell away from Harper.  She had enough on her shoulders at the moment without her _mother_ adding to it.

“ _Finally,_ I have been trying to contact you for days. What the hell were you doing in the Bahak system? I thought I…” Hannah popped on the screen. She’d clearly been talking before the connection even went through.  She paused mid-rant when she realized that it wasn’t _Harper_ on the other end. “Steven.”

“That’s _Admiral_ Hackett,” he corrected coldly. “And I’m more interested in _what_ the hell you think you are doing contacting Commander Shepard? You were explicitly forbidden from reaching out to her in any way.  I believe that I was _quite_ specific in my terms with regards to your staying out of the brig.  Were you unclear on what your _orders_ were, Captain?”

“She’s my daughter, Steven,” Hannah said with a childish sneer.  “You just provided the sperm.  You were never her father.  Too damn busy with your career to be a father.”

“I believe that you do not have permission to use anything other than my rank.”  Hackett had given Hannah all the rope that she needed to hang herself.

“How many women have you slept with over the years, _Admiral?_ How many other children do you have that you’ve never given the time of day?  You only showed interest in Harper once her _star_ started to rise in amongst the Alliance ranks.” Hannah’s voice held a hint of desperation.  “She’s quite the feather in your _cap_ , isn’t she?  You always would do any damn thing to keep your career on the fast track. You should warn Harper that you’ll throw her aside once you’ve reached whatever your _next_ ambition is.”

Harper started up off the couch but Hackett shook his head at her.  He waited until he was certain that she wouldn’t move from the sofa.  He turned _hard_ eyes back to the woman on the screen who flinched visibly at the intensity in his gaze.

“You will be escorted, handcuffed, to the brig on Arcturus where you will be held indefinitely while you await your dishonorable discharge.  You assaulted a fellow officer.  You disobeyed a direct order, multiple orders for that matter.  Hackett out.” He told EDI to disconnect and block any further contact attempts from Hannah.  He found Harper leaning back on the sofa and staring up at the ceiling with her eyes closed. “I think…”

She tilted her head in his direction with her eyes still closed. “Sit. Shut up. Give me a moment.”

Instead of sitting down, Hackett went to look at the fish in the aquarium.   Harper still hadn’t said a thing ten minutes later when Zaeed came in with the medi-gel.  He caught the tension in the room and immediately frowned at Hackett. 

“Stop that.” Harper held her uninjured hand out for the medi-gel. “My _mother_ decided to send me a message and be a complete bitch.”

“Again?”

“Yep.” Harper let Zaeed heal the injuries on her hand as Hackett watched.  She shifted her gaze from her hands to the Admiral. “Dad?”

Hackett forced himself to take the few steps over to sit on the coffee table in front of her.  He couldn’t shake the fear that she might’ve believed Hannah.  He lifted her hand to look at the now healed fingers. She brought her other hand up to cover his mouth when he started to speak.  He raised an eyebrow at her expectantly.

“I don’t need you to _tell_ me that she was lying.” Harper lowered her arm and leaned into Zaeed with a tired groan. “If you wanted a feather in your cap, you would’ve come forward a hell of a lot sooner.  And you certainly wouldn’t have spent the last two days threatening every admiral in the fleet if they didn’t stand behind me.”

_“Harper.”_

“Oh just shut up.” She flicked Zaeed’s knee when he chuckled at her ordering Hackett around. “Hannah Shepard is a _lying_ , manipulative bitch.  The only reason that you weren’t in my life sooner is _you_ are a _good_ man who thought he was doing the right thing.  I don’t want to talk about it anymore.  I don’t want to _talk_ about her, batarians or asteroids.”

“What do you want to talk about?” Hackett watched as her eyes started to close.

“Naps.”

Hackett left Harper to _nap_ with Zaeed.  He was in the CIC when Joker called him over to the bridge.  He sat in the co-pilot seat so Moreau wouldn’t have to strain his neck. 

“EDI…” Joker glanced nervously back to see if anyone was nearby.  “When Harper went down to the batarian prison camp, I had a bad feeling about it.  I was listening in on her comm and told EDI to record the feed from her helmet cam.  It’s all there, the proof of what Kenson was doing.  There’s even a bit at the end with one of the Reapers.”

“I have already forwarded the files to Admiral Hackett’s account.” EDI’s blue orb popped up as she entered the conversation.

Hackett wasn’t fond of AI’s but Harper had told him how much help that this one had been even unshackled. “Thank you, both of you. That might be exactly what I need to keep her from having to take the hit for this.”

He patted the man on the shoulder, _gently_ , and off of the ship.  He went straight to the Alliance offices on the Citadel to go through the files with Anderson who hadn’t left for Earth yet.  Admiral Ahern had stopped by from Pinnacle Station to let him know that he had his full support.

With Anderson’s help and two long days with almost no sleep, Hackett had managed to not only convince the Defense Committee that Harper’s actions on Aratoht had been necessary but that the Reaper threat was real.  They didn’t have the time or ability to really deal with a batarian threat so for _appearance sake;_ Commander Shepard would head to Vancouver for questioning.

The reality of the situation was that Harper would take his private apartment in the Alliance compound and help him organize the war effort.  She could work with Doctor T’soni who was already on looking for Prothean artifacts.  In six months, her record would be expunged and she would be completely reinstated to her rank, more than that, she’d be given the promotions that death had stolen from her.

_Major Harper Shepard._

 


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly
> 
>  
> 
> There might be slight triggers in this chapter, though nothing graphic or direct is mentioned.

“ _What_. _The. Hell. Are. Those. Doing. On. Your. Wrists?”_ Hackett’s words echoed through the mostly empty _Normandy_ as he shoved Anderson out of his way to walk over to Harper who was laughing with Joker and Vega by the bridge.

“Handcuffs.” Harper raised her arms so he could get a better look. “I thought it would be funny.”

“Funny?” Hackett would’ve ripped the damn things off of her wrists if he could have.  He turned instead to Vega who blanched at the look in the Admiral’s eyes.  He moved closer to speak low to the Lieutenant so the other two couldn’t hear. “Get those cuffs off of my daughter, _now,_ Lieutenant. I’d hate to have you spending the next few days scrubbing every single toilet in the Alliance compound with a toothbrush.”

“Yes, sir.” Vega started to move towards Harper but Hackett gripped the man’s arm firmly to stop him. “Admiral?”

“Anderson promised me that you could keep my daughter safe.  I _highly_ recommend that you don’t disappoint him,” Hackett remarked casually. He released the Lieutenant and went back over to pick up his conversation with Anderson once more. “What?”

Anderson just shook his head at him. “Was that really necessary?”

“ _Yes._ ”

“Harper will be perfectly fine.  She’ll be surrounded by Alliance officers all the time. I’ll be there.” Anderson’s encouragement was falling on deaf ears.

“Yes, but I won’t be here.  I’ve got to get back to Arcturus to organize the fleets.  My mobile commander center with the Fifth Fleet is almost ready. So I shouldn’t be stuck on the station long.” Hackett didn’t like leaving Harper to deal with the Defense Committee alone.  It was mostly for show, but he still didn’t like it.  He wouldn’t put it past the batarians to try something.

“She’ll be _fine,_ Steven.” Anderson glanced over to find that Harper was twirling the handcuffs around. “ _Commander._ ”

She smiled over at him. “What? They aren’t _on_ me.”

“ _Harper.”_ Hackett frowned at her.

_“Dad.”_

“Can I keep these, Lieutenant? I think Zaeed might like them.” Harper grinned over at the Lieutenant whose attention was focused solely on Hackett.  He snatched the cuffs from her and shoved them into one of his pockets. “So that’s a no.”

Hackett ignored the flip comments and focused instead on Harper’s fidgeting fingers.  He caught the tension in her jaw and the carefully blank look in her eyes.  He sighed before _politely_ ordering everyone but Harper from the ship.  

“I was joking.” Harper frowned at him once they were alone. 

He walked over to her to pull her into a hug. “It’s going to be fine.”

“Of course it is.” Harper’s tone might have been _normal_ but the slight trembling in her shoulders wasn’t. “I killed…”

“No, you didn’t.” Hackett interrupted her before she could finish the thought. “The reapers did.  They would’ve destroyed everyone in that system before they moved to the next one.”

“Dad.”

He didn’t have the time that he needed to really get his point across to her.  For the first time, he regretted the fact that Massani wasn’t around to be there for Harper.  The man always seemed to know how to get through to her. 

Zaeed had left the _Normandy_ on Omega to track down someone that the batarians had hired to take _care_ of Harper.  He settled for repeating what he’d said multiple times since the incident in Bahak.  She just shrugged and ducked around him to head off of the ship.

He followed her with a growing sense that even though the brig was just for show.  Harper might feel like she deserved it.  She kept up the overly jovial façade until they’d reached the detention center.

The Defense Committee had _appropriated_ several officers’ quarters on the floor above the detention center and reclassified them as the brig.  Harper would stay in one of the larger rooms.  It was less like a cell and more like a small apartment.

Harper stepped inside and went straight over to the larger picture windows at the far end of the room.  She stared out across the view with her hands shoved into her pockets.  Hackett glanced over at Anderson who shrugged at him.  They decided to leave her alone for a while to get things set up with the committee.

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: Batarians._

_I can’t help but wonder if maybe I should’ve just turned myself in to the Hegemony._

_300,000 dead._

_I did that. I don’t care how Dad or Anderson try to dress it up.  I sent that asteroid through the relay.  I’ve washed my hands a thousand times but the blood doesn’t seem to wash off._

_I’d delete this without sending it but the Shadow Broker seems to enjoy finding message that I discard and sending them anyway._

_Harper_

* * *

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Omega_

_From: Zaeed_

_To: Harper_

_Z: Sweetheart?_

_Z: Are you there?_

_User has disconnected._

* * *

_From: Zaeed_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: IRTC._

_What is the bloody point of answering if you aren’t going to bloody say anything?_

_You did the right thing, Harper. You have to believe that.  Those batarians were dead the minute the Reapers decided to enter through that system.  There was nothing that anyone could’ve done to save the bastards._

_And handing yourself over to the Hegemony….you might as well put a bullet through your own brain.  It would be a lot less painful than what they’d do to you._

_Zaeed_

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: re: Fair point._

_I’ll take that into consideration._

_Harper_

* * *

The slightly panicked message that Hackett received from Zaeed had sent his heart racing.  He’d stormed out of the meeting that he was in to rush down to Harper’s new quarters.  He stopped in the middle of the room in surprise to find her still standing by the window.

“Dad?” She gave him a slightly confused look. “Something wrong?”

He grabbed her by the shoulders to shake her. “Do not _ever_ fucking even think about hurting yourself. Do you understand?”

“What are you talking about?” She stared up at him in confusion. “I’d never…oh…shit.  Zaeed didn’t…I didn’t meant it like that, not exactly.”

“Then _what_ exactly did you mean?” Hackett was probably holding her too tightly but he didn’t give a damn.  He’d already lost his daughter once, twice if he counted the long years where he’d pretended that she wasn’t his.  He refused to go through that again. 

Harper gently removed his hands from her shoulders and wandered over to the bed.  She collapsed down on it and dragged the blanket over her.  She twisted around so her back was to him.  “I _am_ taking a nap.  You can watch or you can get the hell out of my room.”


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly
> 
> Note of warning:
> 
> There might be slight triggers in this chapter, though nothing graphic or direct is mentioned. There is an allusion to thoughts of suicide.

 

 

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Vancouver_

_From: Harper_

_To: Zaeed_

_H: Hey._

_Z: You ok, Sweetheart? It’s three in the bloody morning there._

_H: Can’t sleep._

_Z: Why?_

_H: Ghosts._

_Z: Ghosts? What ghosts?_

_H: All the dead._

_Z: Sweetheart? I’m not sure that I understand what the hell you’re talking about but I’m worried about you. Is Hackett still in Vancouver?_

_H: No idea._

_Z: Haven’t you seen him?_

_H: I don’t want to see anyone.  I told Vega to keep everyone out of my quarters._

_Z: Why?_

_H: Do you know how many workers died on Zorya?_

_Z: Harper._

_H: Twenty._

_H: Twenty people that died because of a decision that I made._

_H: 300,000 batarians._

_H: Most of my squad on Torfan along with all of the slavers._

_Z: I think that you should try to get some goddamn sleep._

_H: Sure._

_H: How am I supposed to sleep with all of the damn ghosts?_

_Z: Harper._

_H: I’m fine._

_User has disconnected._

The door to her quarters slid open an impressive five minutes later to let Hackett barge in.  He didn’t bother to knock.  He turned the lights on as he moved towards Harper stretched out on the couch.

“Still alive.” Harper covered her eyes with her arm. “Go away.”

“No.” Hackett grabbed a chair from the dining table to drag it over to the couch.  He sat in front of her, close enough that he could touch her if he wanted to. “Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to say.” Harper wished that she’d never contacted Zaeed.  She should’ve known that this is what would happen. Maybe she had known. “I’m fine.”

“You are so very far from fine, Harper.” Hackett eased her up into a seated position. “I’d really prefer to avoid sending you for a psyche eval.”

“Get. Out.”

“No.” Hackett took her hands in his. “That’s the thing about being a dad.  I can’t see you sinking and not want to hold you up until you can stand on your own again.”

Harper stared down at the hands holding hers. “Careful. You might get blood on your hands.”

“You know what I see when I look at your hands?” Hackett wouldn’t let her pull away from him. “Strength.  I see an amazingly courageous woman who has given everything, including her life to save others.”

“I’m a murderer.”

“You are _not_ a murderer.” Hackett’s gaze was too…everything and Harper looked away from him.  She stood up to walk across the room to stare out the window. “Harper.”

“ _Hackett._ ”  She was angry and in pain.  She wanted to be alone and if she had to strike out at him to get him to go away, she would.  She’d regret it later.

“I have thicker skin than that.”

“Why won’t you go away and leave me alone?” Harper leaned her forehead against the pane of glass.

“I don’t want to be plagued by what ifs,” he said simply. “If you think that you deserve to die, you’re _very_ wrong.  You do not deserve death.  You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Neither did the people that I killed,” Harper shot back at him.

“You didn’t…”

“My decisions let to their deaths.” She wished that he’d just leave her the hell alone.

“I’m not going to kill myself.” Her response was sharp and quick, too quick really.

“No, you won’t.” Hackett followed her over to the window. He pulled her into a hug. “Do you honestly think that I’d _ever_ let you…”

“You don’t always get to make those decisions.” Harper reminded him.

His arms tightened painfully around her. “I will if you force me to.”

“ _Dad._ ”

“ _Harper._ ”

“Leave.” She sank down to the floor, sliding out of his arms. “I was fine with the ghosts.”

Hackett crouched in front of her.  His fingers on her chin to tilt her head up. “No, you weren’t.  Now, you have two choices.  You can let me help you, or you can let the psyche department help you.  There’s no guarantee that a Cat-6 won’t follow with the second option.”

“Bastard.”

“If by bastard you actually mean concerned father, then yes, that is correct.” He lifted her up off of the floor and back over to the couch. “What’s it going to be?”

 

 


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly
> 
> Note of warning:
> 
> There might be slight triggers in this chapter, though nothing graphic or direct is mentioned. There is an mention of thoughts of suicide.

“This is stupid.” Harper reiterated loudly for the tenth time. “Can I go back to sleep now?”

“No.” He gave her a tired look. “You weren’t sleeping. You were talking to Massani about hurting yourself.”

“I…”

Hackett had spent the last two hours trying to _talk_ to his daughter.  She’d looked at him with dead eyes and shrugged off all of his questions.  This wasn’t working.  She wasn’t comfortable enough to talk.

He grabbed her hand to pull her off of the sofa. “Let’s go.”

“Dad?”

He kept a firm hand on her back to propel her out of her quarters.  He ordered Vega to follow them as they headed out of the building across the compound to the gym on the other-side.  Once the two had changed into sweats, he told them to demonstrate their skills at hand to hand combat.

Harper eventually collapsed on the mat underneath the lieutenant.  She tapped out.  She was more skilled than Vega but too tired to truly prove it.  She’d worn herself out with no sleep and fighting with the mountain of a marine for three hours.

With a towel in hand, Hacket waited at the edge of the mat.  He told Vega to head back to his quarters with his thanks.  He set a bottle of water next to the towel and waited for Harper.

“I don’t know how to reconcile who I am with the trail of death that I’ve left in my wake.” Harper hadn’t moved from her spot on the mat.  She finally rolled over to drag herself to the edge of the mat.

“Harper.”

“No.” She threw the towel back at him. “Stop. Just…stop.”

“I can’t do that. I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.” Hackett dodged the weak arm that came up to block him when he pulled her up into a hug. She got one punch into his chest that barely hurt before she broke down.  The sobs were loud and angry.  They sounded like they were ripped out of her unwillingly.

“Am I a murderer?” Harper’s question was almost lost in her sobs.

“Not a chance in hell.” Hackett eased them both down to the mat in a more comfortable position.  He held her in his lap as she finally let go of everything that she’d been holding on to so tightly. “Not a damn chance.  You’re a hero.  You saved millions of lives at the cost of a few thousand.  It’s not a good thing, but there is no good in war.  There’s only…trying to save as many as you can.  You did your best.  End of story.  You grieve, you move on.  You do _not_ give up.  And you don’t take on the weight of deaths that aren’t yours to carry.”

“Torfan…”

“Torfan was an Alliance cluster-fuck.  Those deaths are on the shoulders of people with higher pay-grades than yours.  Zorya was the fault of a pair of mercenaries, Santiago and Massani.  He knew what decision you would make once there.  You couldn’t risk losing a member of your squad.” He held her as she started to shake uncontrollably in his arms. “It’s ok, Harper.  It’s ok.  I’m not going to let you fall.”

“The batarians…”

“Can rot in hell for all I care. You tried to warn them.  The Reapers would’ve killed them all when they arrived.” Hackett would repeat all of it over and over until she believed him. “You’re a marine.  Death comes with the job, but that doesn’t mean you’ve killed for the sake of killing. I know you.  It would always be a last resort.  You’ve saved many that most marines would kill without a second thought.”

He rolled his neck slowly trying to ease some of the tension.  He’d been up for three days straight with barely an hour’s nap here or there.  He needed rest and he really should be back on Arcturus.  He’d already received complaints from some of the admiralty about the delay.

Harper mattered more to him.  The tears were a good start.  She’d been burying all of that in since Zorya, maybe even before then.  Zaeed was on a transport for Earth to help look out for her.  He wanted someone close to her when he eventually had to leave for Arcturus.

“Dad?”

“Yea?”

“I’m…not going to…you know.” Harper took a deep shuddering breath that seemed to take all the air and energy out of her.  She wilted a little in his arms.  Exhaustion had clearly caught up with her. “I couldn’t do that to you. I’m not even sure why I said it.”

“You’re a Hackett.  You bury your deeper emotions until they have to come out.” He stood up and helped her up to her feet.  He thought perhaps now would be a good time for food and then sleep. “Let’s see if we can’t find something in the mess to eat.”

“Anything but eggs.  Vega cooks nothing but eggs all the time.” Harper grabbed the towel that she’d thrown at some point to dry her eyes.  She tossed it into the laundry bin by the gym door. “I’m a Hackett.”

“You are, and a Shepard.”

She stopped once they were outside to look up at the night sky.  He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and waited for her to be ready. “The reapers are coming.”

“Yes.”

“And I need to stop them.” Harper started walking again. “Aren’t you supposed to be on Arcturus?”

“I had to make sure my daughter wasn’t going to drown herself in Vancouver Bay while I wasn’t looking.” Hackett grunted when she elbowed him in the side.

“Thanks.”


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Zaeed arrived in Vancouver two days after he’d messaged Hackett. The bastard hadn’t bothered to let him know if Harper was doing better or not.  He had spent forty eight hours worrying about _her._

He’d taken care of the bastards that the batarians had sent to hurt Harper.  It had seemed best to head straight for Earth.  He had to see her for himself.

Harper was playing poker with Vega when Zaeed arrived.  He grabbed the Lieutenant by the back of the shirt and forced him out of the room.  He glanced back to find Harper looking uneasily at him over her cards.

“Hi.”

He wanted to yank her out of the chair and shake her. ‘ _Hi.’_ The truth was that he’d felt guilty that his message had been the thing that tipped her over the dark edge.  His mind had plagued him with images of her lifeless body.

“I missed you.” Harper set the cards in her hand down.

“And how much would I fucking miss you if you’d bloody off’d yourself? Eh?” Zaeed growled at her.  His worry and guilt morphed into anger at her.

Harper raised an eyebrow at him. “Hmm. Sort of like your retirement plan?”

_She might have had a goddamn point._

Deciding that agreeing with her was a terrible fucking idea, Zaeed dragged her out of the chair.  He took her straight over to her bed.  His body pressed her down into the mattress.  He flipped them around so she rested on top of him.

His fingers slid up over her clothing to rested on either side of her face. “Don’t fucking do that to me again.”

She yanked off his shirt to let her fingers wander over his chest. “Right back at you.”

“I was so goddamn worried.” Zaeed closed his eyes to enjoy the sensation of her touch.

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” Harper murmured.  Her lips teased against the smattering of hairs on his chest. “I didn’t mean it and then, I did. I couldn’t seem to make the thoughts go away.”

He twisted them around so he was on top once more.  He didn’t get much further as moments later; Vega stepped back into the room to let them know that Hackett was on his way down with Anderson.  Zaeed grumbled in annoyance as he pulled his shirt back on.

* * *

The three of them sat playing cards, looking completely casual when the two Admirals walked into Harper’s quarters.  Hackett frowned at Zaeed and then at his daughter. Harper just shrugged and told them to sit down so Vega could deal them in.

Anderson pushed Hackett into one of the chairs and took the other empty one for himself.  Over several rounds of poker, they updated her on how things were going with the committee.  Her dad would be heading for Arcturus in the morning to join up with the Fifth Fleet which he planned to use as his command center for leading the Alliance fleets. 

“You’re leaving?” Harper stared incredulously up at Zaeed. “You just arrived? We haven’t even…”

“Haven’t what?” Her dad raised an eyebrow at her.

“Engaged in things that you don’t need to know about,” she said sharply. She glared at him daring him to make a comment. “Is this punishment for scaring you both?”

“Yes.”

She glared at both of them. “Bastards.”

The truth was that the reaper invasion was an impending _doom_ that they couldn’t ignore.  She understood that in her head but her heart and libido weren’t so thrilled with it.  She tried not to be ticked off when Hackett and Zaeed left an hour or two later. 

“Where are we going?” Harper asked for the fifth time as Vega led her across the Alliance compound towards the gym to the detention center.

“It’s a surprise. Admiral Hackett left strict instructions.” Vega paused outside a large set of doors and waited for her to enter first.

She stepped into the dojo where she’d spared with the Lieutenant previously.  She frowned as she recognized the woman that was going through a familiar set of moves. _Aikido._  It took her a moment before she realized who she was.

_Major…Admiral Suarez._

“Commander Shepard.” Suarez acknowledged her salute and then offered her a bow of respect. “I understand that you’ll be with us here in Vancouver for a little while longer.  Perhaps you would care to join me during the week for practice?  I find myself in need of a _senshūsei._ ”

Harper inhaled sharply at the term that she recognized from her extensive reading into Aikido. “I’d be honored to be your apprentice. Are you…”

“The only questions that I believe I need to answer are ones related to whether or not your form is correct.” Saurez gave her an encouraging smile and then motioned for Vega to make himself comfortable on the benches that lined the far corner of the room.  “I think you’re going to need a clear mind for what’s coming.”


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: Fifth Fleet._

_I’ve ordered the fleets, most of them, away from Arcturus into Sol._

_Zaeed’s on his way back to Earth.  We’re starting to pick up some strange readings and I’m guessing it’s the precursor to the reapers.  Keep the bastard close, along with Vega.  I know you can handle yourself; you’re a damn fine marine.  But you’re still my daughter and I’m still worried about you._

_Love,_

_Dad_

* * *

The invasion started the day after her last message from Hackett.  She didn’t know where Zaeed was.  She hadn’t seen or heard from him.  The meeting with the defense committee had been interrupted by the arrival of the reapers.  She barely resisted saying, ‘I told you so.’  Since most of the committee members were dead, it seemed kind of pointless.

She followed Anderson over the rooftops towards the Vancouver Bay to meet up with the _Normandy_. Alenko had already made it to the ship with Vega.  She just hoped that Joker had been on the vessel when the invasion started.  She couldn’t see _her baby_ being flown by anyone else.

She was dodging out of the way of a blast from one of the reaperized creatures when a familiar voice had her lifting her head up.   Zaeed finished off the last of the Cannibals and glanced over at her and Anderson.  He winked at her as he started towards them.

“Little late, Zaeed?” She nudged him with her rifle when he joined them.

“Late? I’m here at the precise bloody time that I wanted to be. Time enough to save your pretty arse.” Zaeed wrapped an arm around her shoulder as he acknowledged Anderson.

They fought their way through what felt like endless hordes of husks and cannibals.  The _Normandy_ finally arrived and they made their way up over the broken down walkway towards the ship.  Zaeed had to carry her onto the ship when she realized that Anderson wasn’t leaving with them. 

She was still ticked off at him when he set her down in the shuttle bay.  She had no choice but to tell Joker to get them the hell away from Sol.  He interrupted suggesting that they head to Mars first, a message had come in from Hackett earlier asking that they meet up with Liara at the Alliance facility on the planet.

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: Arcturus._

_It’s gone._

_The reapers hit it first before heading to Earth.  The ships that I left to protect it never stood a chance._

_Your mother was on the station, I’m so sorry._

_I wanted to tell you personally but the QEC is still not functioning well enough.  I didn’t want to risk you hearing from anyone else._

_I did receive Doctor T’soni’s report from the attack on Mars.   I understand that you’re heading to the Citadel with Major Alenko who was injured.  I’ll try to meet up with you there._

_Love,_

_Dad_

* * *

With the _Normandy_ rushing to the Citadel for the injured Kiadan, Harper grabbed one of the bottles of scotch from the lounge and brought it up to her quarters.  She was half-way through the bottle when Zaeed found her.

“Sweetheart?” Zaeed tried to get the bottle out of her hand.

“Ding, dong the witch is dead.”  She waved the scotch at him before bursting into tears.

“I don’t…”

Harper shoved the bottle at him as she dashed into the bathroom.  She made it there in time to retch violently into the toilet all of the liquor that she’d drunk.  She sank back on the floor when she was done to lean against the wall.

“What the bloody hell is going on?” Zaeed wiped her face with a wet cloth and handed her a glass of cool water to sip.

“Arcturus was hit by the reapers.” Harper wrapped her arms around herself. “My mom…shit…I hated her some days, especially recently.  But…she…damn.”

“C’mere, Sweetheart.” Zaeed dropped down beside her.  He hefted her over into his lap. “S’ok to feel fucking conflicted.  Hannah wasn’t an easy person to like but she was your mother.”

Harper didn’t really have a response to that but she didn’t argue when he carried her back into the living quarters.  He helped her out of her fatigues and held her under the covers on the bed.  His arms wound tightly around her. They stayed that way until they arrived on the Citadel.

* * *

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Widow_

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_H: We’re about to make the jump to Menae.  Here’s hoping that the Primarch is more helpful than his councilor was._

_D: How are you doing?_

_H: Fine._

_D: I’m sorry about your mom. I should’ve let her rejoin the fleet._

_H: This wasn’t your fault._

_D: My orders. My responsibility._

_H: Like Aratoht was my fault?  Or Torfan? Maybe you should take your own advice, Admiral._

_D: Yes Ma’am._

_H: Dad._

_H: She didn’t mourn my death but I feel the need to grieve hers._

_D: She was your mom, and you’re a much better person that she could’ve ever hoped to be._

_H: Yea._

_D: Be careful on Menae, I understand that the reapers are hitting the turians fairly hard.  Any news from your old friend, Garrus?_

_H: Nothing so far.  I tried sending him a message but received no response.  I’m hoping that maybe the primarch has heard something._

_D: I love you.  I’m sorry about Hannah._

_H: Aren’t we always sorry about her? I love you too._

_User has disconnected._


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

Harper sat on the couch in her quarters and stared sullenly at the empty bed. She’d spent the last week helping Wrex get closer to the genophage cure.  They’d also managed to clear Cerberus off of Tuchanka and stop them from detonating a very large bomb.

It had come at the cost of the Primarch’s son.  Harper had been forced to get between Wrex and Victus.  Not the most comfortable place to be, Garrus had helped her to separate the two.  An uncomfortable truce had been forged between them for now.

If they didn’t get the cure for the genophage, Harper had a feeling that even with an entire squad of marines; nothing would stop Wrex from charging the Primarch.   She certainly wouldn’t want to be the one standing in his way.  She’d sent him down to the Shuttle Bay to spend time with Vega. 

The Primarch needed a moment to himself to grieve without Wrex taunting him. 

They still had to take the cure to the Shroud but Harper had insisted on heading to Benning first.  They were currently on their way back to the Citadel to drop off some of the civilians that they’d rescued.  She also needed to give the ambassador his son’s dog tags.   It was the last of the side mission that Hackett had asked her to take care of.

She missed Zaeed.  He’d disappeared on her after Menae.  He claimed that he had a lead on Cerberus that he had to follow up on.  She just wanted him back on the _Normandy_. She hadn’t been able to sleep without him.

_Too many nightmares._

_Too many ghosts._

* * *

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Widow_

_From: Harper_

_To: Zaeed_

_H: My bed is too big._

_Z: That so, Sweetheart?_

_H: I miss you._

_Z: I’m almost finished._

_H: Yea._

_Z: Do you need me to be finished now?_

_H: Yea._

_Z: I can be on the Citadel in two days._

_H: Ok._

_Z: Harper? Should I be worried?_

_H: We’re in the middle of a fight for survival. Yes, you should be worried._

_Z: Fuck the war, should I be bloody worried about you?_

_H: I’m tired._

_Z: Get some rest before you head back to Tuchanka._

_H: Can’t._

_Z: Yes you bloody can._

_H: No, I can’t. I’ve tried._

_H: Sorry, I have to go meet up with Udina._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

Zaeed closed his omni-tool.  He didn’t bother sending a follow up message to Harper.  She’d bloody ignore him, stubborn little thing.  He was worried about her, even via text, she sounded exhausted.

He had already infiltrated a group that he believed were going after a Cerberus mole on the Citadel.  He needed to see if he could force the issue and have them head there faster.  Hackett was too damn busy to take care of his daughter, so he would do it.

As it turned out, Zaeed ended up being on the Citadel when the coup attempt happened.  He discovered that things weren’t quite what he thought they were with the merc group so he took them out.  He secured the volus and headed out to see if he could find Harper.

She was racing across the Presidium Commons when he spotted her.  Her moves were slightly sluggish and his gaze drifted back to the smoking wreckage of a skycar. He picked up his speed and pulled out his rifle as he went. 

He was just in time to put a bullet through one of the jumpy little Cerberus bitches before she could get her sword into _his_ girl.  Harper spun around towards him with her weapon drawn.  She smiled at him and then turned her attention back to the last group of Cereberus troops.

They rushed through the rest of them only to find the door sealed.  Harper leaned against it to catch her breath.  She raised an eyebrow at Zaeed as he walked over to her.

“Did you let Vega drive again?” Zaeed smirked over at the marine who frowned at him.  Garrus turned his head to hide his laughter.

“Someone stabbed the damn skycar.” Vega glared at both of them.

Harper pulled herself up from the wall. “We can mock Vega later. We need to get to the Council _before_ the assassin does.”

Zaeed ran his fingers along a bruise on her jaw. “Can you use another weapon?”

“Why you going to let me have Jessie?” Harper teased him with a tired smile.

He didn’t get a chance to respond.  Harper was already headed towards the nearby broken class to hop down to a ledge to get around the locked door.  He spent the next three hours following her around the Citadel.

_He was fucking exhausted._

She had to be practically dead on her feet.  She was leaving Huerta after saying a prayer for the dying Thane.  She’d stopped the Coup and then run what seemed like a goddamn endless stream of errands for other people.

Zaeed decided it was time to take matters into his own hands.  He wrapped an arm around her waist and dragged her to the nearest skycar terminal that was still working.  He pushed her into a seat and then took them to _Normandy._

He told Alenko to wait his bloody turn and forced Harper onto the ship.  He didn’t release her until they were up in her quarters.  She swayed on her feet a moment before getting her equilibrium.

“You’re going to strip out of your bloody armor and then I’m going to help you take a nice hot shower.  And then you’re going to get in the goddamn bed and sleep.” Zaeed crossed his arms and glared at her.  He wasn’t going to take _no_ for an answer.  She was practically dead on her feet.

Walking up to her, Zaeed carefully removed the visor that she wore.  He unbuckled and removed each piece of her armor to set it near the storage locker.  She watched him with a barely there grin as he pulled off her fatigues and the skimpy silk that she had on underneath them. 

His fingers traced a few of the new bruises that littered her right side.  He led her gently into the bathroom and under the warm shower.  It was almost impossible for him to ignore the temptation to caress her body as he washed her.

He wrapped a firm arm around her waist to support her as he dipped his other hand between her legs.  His touches were slow and gently.  His lips found hers and his tongue moved across hers with a casual ease.  She was too wiped out to do much other than let him bring her over the edge to climax.

It was enough of a drain that she sank against him and was half asleep before he pulled her out from under the water.  He dried her off and had to lift her up into his arms to carry her over to the bed.  She had a firm hold on his arm though and dragged him down under the covers with her.

“Ghosts.”

“Harper?”

She burrowed under the covers further, her face pressed against his chest. He was about to ask her again what she was talking about but the only reply that he received was a quiet snore.  He pulled up his omni-tool to send a message to Bailey about the Volus that he’d forgotten about.

* * *

_From: Hackett_

_To: Massani_

_Subj: re: Harper._

_Any idea where she got to?_

_She was supposed to join me in a vid-conference with Anderson._

_Hackett_

* * *

_From: Massani_

_To: Hackett_

_Subj: re: Harper._

_She’s fucking exhausted._

_I’ve finally gotten her to sleep so you and the rest of the alliance can bloody fuck off for a few hours or days for that matter. Go solve your own goddamn problems for a day or two._

_You might remember that she’s your daughter not just the person whose shoulders you’ve put the entire damn war.  If she dies from exhaustion before you can put her on the fucking front lines, she won’t exactly do you a damn bit of good._

_Zaeed_


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

After spending an entire day trying to stop her clone from taking over her life, Harper had _really_ been looking forward to relaxing in the hot tub in Anderson’s apartment.  She’d been five seconds from dragging Zaeed into it with her when EDI and Traynor asked her to join them on the _Normandy_.

Zaeed tried to tell them it could wait but given the events of the past twenty-four hours, waiting might be a very bad thing.  Her heart sank when she realized that Hackett had been on the ship at some point with the clone.  Given the fact that he hadn’t responded to her report on it, or even read it according to EDI, something had definitely gone very wrong.

She told Joker to head to the Crucible.  She didn’t give a damn if they weren’t supposed to know where it is.  The _Normandy_ was the stealthiest ship in the fleet and she had a terrifying feeling in her gut that she needed to get to Hackett _quickly._

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj:  Cerberus._

_Have you read my report? I really think you should take a look at it. I had a clone._

_Why aren’t you answering my comm request?_

_Harper_

* * *

“Dad?” Harper stepped into his office on the Crucible with a sense of…trepidation. 

They still weren’t sure what the clone had said to him.  All Harper knew for certain was that _Admiral Hackett_ had been on the _Normandy._  Traynor had seen him leaving just before the clone kicked her off of the ship as well. 

She found him sitting behind his desk. His attention seemed narrowly focused on the empty coffee mug in front of him. He didn’t react at all when she tried to get his attention.  She waved her hand in front of his face.

“Did you have something _else_ to tell me?” He didn’t even look up to acknowledge her presence as he spoke.

“Something else?” Harper had a sinking feeling.  “What…exactly…did I have to say to you earlier?”

“I _do_ not need you to rub salt in the wound, _Commander_.”

Harper froze at the use of her rank.  He _never_ used her rank.  “I think that I need to tell you…”

“Get the hell out of my office and back on your ship.  That’s an order.” He still hadn’t glanced in her direction once.

“Dad?”

“ _Out._ ”

Harper couldn’t quite get her feet to work.  She didn’t even flinch when he surged up out of his chair towards her.  He gripped her firmly by the arms and backed her up towards his door.  He didn’t even look at her when she managed to stutter out that she had a clone.

He wasn’t interested in her explanation.  He forced her out of the office and stepped back to let the door close.  It was sealed when she tried to open it. She pounded her fist against it a few times and finally gave up.

She made her way back towards the _Normandy_ and went straight up to her quarters.  She missed the concerned looks from Joker and Traynor who immediately sent a message to Zaeed who’d been in the Shuttle Bay with Vega and Garrus.  The three of them had been having a sharp-shooter contest much to Cortez’s annoyance.

* * *

Telling Joker to ignore Harper’s order to head back to the Citadel, Zaeed decided that it was time to have a little _fist_ to bloody face conversation with _Admiral_ fucking Hackett.  He wanted to go up and comfort Harper but it would be better to deal with her dad first. 

Zaeed barreled past at least three marines as he stormed through the hallways to get to Hackett’s office.  He left Cortez and Vega to go up to try to console Harper.  If nothing else, they could take her down to the lounge to play poker with a few other members of the crew.  It would keep her distracted while he _dealt_ with the Admiral.

Barging into Hackett’s without bothering to knock, Zaeed found the man sitting at his desk with a glass of what looked like whiskey in his hand.  Cold blue eyes looked up at him over the rim of his glass.  The Admiral watched him expectantly.

He decided that perhaps actions spoke larger than words.  He knocked the glass out of Hackett’s hand and yanked him up out of the chair. With one punch, he set him stumbling backwards and a second one had the Admiral on the floor.

“What the fuck did the clone say to you?” Zaeed crouched next to Hackett who was still on the floor holding his head.

“Clone?”

 _“Fuck.”_ Zaeed grabbed the Admiral’s arm and helped him up. “She didn’t tell you.”

“I didn’t really give her a chance to talk,” Hackett admitted.  He dodged the punch that Zaeed threw at him. “What clone?”

 


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

The long walk to where the _Normandy_ was docked let Hackett process the idea that Harper had a clone.  He didn’t find it hard to believe that Cerberus had created one.  The Illusive Man always seemed to prove his love of covering _all_ the bases. 

In some ways, Hackett felt relief at knowing.  It was like the weight of pain had fallen off of his shoulders.  The clone’s words had cut him to the core.  He had loved his daughter even before he’d had the right to call…to acknowledge her.

The clone had methodically found every weakness in his armor and they’d all related to his relationship with Harper.   It had been possibly the most painful thing that he’d experienced, next learning that his daughter had died.

Traynor informed him that Harper was in the Shuttle Bay when he arrived on the bridge of the _Normandy_.  Hackett wasn’t all that surprised when he found her working through series of martial arts moves.  He didn’t recognize the discipline that she was practicing.  She paled when she glanced up and caught sight of him walking towards her.

“Dad?” She spoke after gulping down water from the bottle that was sitting on a nearby crate.  She hopped up on the crate and watched him warily.

“You had a clone.”

“Zaeed went to see you,” Harper said knowingly. “Did that cranky bastard punch you?”

Hackett waved off her sudden concern. “I’m fine. We need to talk.”

“What did she say?” Harper played with the lid on her water bottle.  “The clone, I mean.”

“It isn’t important.” Hackett took a step towards her.  He set her bottle side and then covered her hands with his own. “I owe you an apology. I was angry and hurt.”

“Dad.” Harper leaned her forehead against the front of his uniform. “Zaeed shot the clone. I kinda wish I’d done it.”

“Good.”

Harper’s laughter was muffled by his shirt. “Please don’t lock me out like that again.”

Hackett’s arms went around her almost of their own accord.  She didn’t seem to want or need an apology.  He felt like a fool for not having realized that something was truly off about the clone.  He should’ve known that his daughter would never say things like that.  Alan had raised her better.

She _wasn’t_ Hannah.

“Harper.” He stepped back from her. “I…”

“It’s ok.” Harper held up her hand to stop him. “It’s not your fault. How could you possibly know about a clone?  Just…you’re the only family I have left, don’t lock me out again.”

“I promise.”

They didn’t have the time that Hackett would’ve liked to spend together.  Harper had to get to Rannoch.  It was imperative that they get the quarian fleet.  He had to force himself into _Admiral_ mode even though he wanted to insist on Harper spending a little more time with him.

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: Rannoch Report._

_Did you intentionally leave out the part about the docking tube falling out from under you to preserve my sanity?_

_I received a full report from Moreau._

_Are you alright?_

_Dad_

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: re: Rannoch Report._

_I did it to preserve my sanity._

_I wonder how many bones I can break in Joker’s body before EDI kills me._

_I’m fine.  I’ll admit to being completely terrified for a moment.  But I’m ok. More or less. Ok, I’m having a lot of nightmares again about when I died, cause that sucked._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: Rannoch Report._

_I think you need a real shore-leave.  _

_I’m ordering the Normandy back to dry-dock for a few days._

_Get some rest. That’s an order, Harper.  I’ve already told Massani that he’s to keep you away from running errands for everyone under the sun._

_And before you send me a smart ass remark about my sending you on countless, pointless missions, I’m your dad, I get to do that._

_Love you,_

_Dad_


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace & MissMeggo
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: Zaeed Massani_

_Subj: re: Harper._

_I thought you were supposed to keep her off the Normandy and relaxing on the Citadel._

_Why am I receiving a report that she’s already finished on Thessia and immediately heading to Horizon?_

_Is she trying to kill herself by way of exhaustion?_

_Hackett_

* * *

_From: Zaeed Massani_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: Harper._

_Your daughter is a Hackett, she’s stubborn and she’s not talking to me and the moment._

_She’s locked herself in her fucking quarters and only comes out for missions._

_She had a massive goddamn argument with Joker after Thessia and ordered him to fly straight to Horizon._

_Unless you want me to try to slow her down at gunpoint, I’m not sure what the bloody hell that you expect me to do.  Let’s face it.  You want the war ended and you put the responsibility of it on her shoulders.  She’s just doing what you told her to do._

_So you can blame your fucking self for this._

_Zaeed_

* * *

Sitting in the shuttle on the way back from Sanctuary, Harper studiously avoided Zaeed’s concerned gaze.  She stood and moved up to sit beside Cortez.  She had reached the point where she simply wanted the war to be over.  Even if that meant that everything was lost…including herself.

The one thing that Harper couldn’t afford to do was stop moving.  She might not be able to get back up again if she did.  She knew that Zaeed and her Dad wanted her to take a break.  The Reapers weren’t going to wait for Commander Shepard to have a damn nap.

It had always been made clear that the weight of this war rested on her shoulders.  Harper had taken to simply not responding to her Dad’s messages beyond short reports.  She was so damn tired but there could be no rest until the Reapers were finished.  Hackett had put her to the forefront of the war, he couldn’t really complain if she took that responsibility seriously.

“Sweetheart.”

“What?” Harper blinked a few times in surprise as she realized that the shuttle was on the _Normandy_ and empty of everyone but Zaeed and herself.

“Tell Joker to head to the Citadel. You need to fucking rest.” Zaeed sat in Cortez’s empty seat.  He reached out to run his thumb gently along the dark circles under her eyes. “Let me take you to the apartment.  We could take a dip in the hot tub.”

“No.”

“Harper.”

“How many millions could die while I’m screwing around in a Jacuzzi? How many systems will they decimate?” Harper shoved Zaeed’s hand away from her face. “I’ll rest when this is over. For now, I need to see what that tracker on Kai Leng has turned up.”

“I’ll drag you off of the goddamn ship if I have to.” Zaeed blocked her exit from the shuttle.

“Zaeed.” Harper heaved a deep sigh and rolled her shoulders to loosen the tension in her back. “I let you have your way on Zorya.  I tried to rationalize it by saying it could only be a handful of people and that I’d have time to go back for them.  I didn’t.  And I won’t make that mistake again.  I won’t sacrifice lives that I might be able to save because you want to fuck me.”

She left a stunned Zaeed in the shuttle and headed up to the War Room. He hadn’t deserved that last remark but she was angry and worried about what would happen if they failed.   She had to focus or she was afraid that she’d fall completely apart.

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: Orders._

_I’ve told Joker to head to the Citadel.  He informed me that you told him to countermand any orders regarding heading to there._

_You need rest, Harper._

_That is not negotiable._

_Dad_

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: re: Orders._

_At 1800 tomorrow, the Normandy will be retrieving the Catalyst from Cerberus._

_The rest of the Alliance fleet is more than welcome to join us, though it wouldn’t be the first time that I was left to handle a problem alone._

_Do not tell my pilot what to do._

_Harper_

* * *

_From: Dad_

_To: Harper_

_Subj: re: Orders._

_I’m worried about you._

_I don’t want to win the war only to have sacrificed my daughter for the victory._

_I love you._

_Dad_

* * *

_From: Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: re: Sacrifices._

_You might should’ve thought of that before you made me the tip of the spear. Or maybe you should’ve thought of that before you sent me after Doctor Kenson alone.  Or maybe the Alliance should’ve thought of that when they refused to help me with the Collectors._

_See you at 1800._

_Harper_


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace & MissMeggo
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

The attack on Cerberus went fairly well as far as Harper was concerned.  Kai Leng was dead.  She’d managed to break the bastard’s sword which made her happy.  She considered it a fitting retribution for Thane’s death.  The Illusive Man hadn’t been on the station. She would’ve liked to stab him as well.

It was a blessing in disguise to Harper that there wasn’t enough time for Hackett to pull her aside when he arrived on the _Normandy_ to speak with the fleets.  She didn’t want to hear anymore lectures about how she needed to take it easy.  With Earth and everywhere else burning, it seemed ludicrous to her to have her dad trying to get her to rest.

Zaeed had left to join a ship headed for a different part of London.  Harper had a feeling that he was angry with her.  His concern had morphed into aggravation when she wouldn’t listen to him either.  She didn’t have the energy to explain to him what was going on in her head.

Three hours later, it didn’t really matter as Harper sat on a step on the Citadel next to Anderson’s lifeless body.  She refused to acknowledge the other dead man in the room.  She’d finished what she had set out to do years before when she first learned about the reapers from the prothean beacon.  The Crucible had been fired.  The bastards were falling all across the galaxy.

“Dad...Admiral?”  She wasn’t even sure if the comms were still working. “You there?”

“Still here.”

“Thanks.”

“For what?” He sounded confused.

“Being my dad.” Harper shifted from where she was sitting next to Anderson to her back. 

She got her legs elevated on the step as she considered her options.  Her comm crackled and then went silent which told her that the comm buoys were probably down.  She needed clothes that weren’t melted and medi-gel for the wound on her side.  She had no idea what the state of the rest of the Citadel was like.

Pulling herself up to her feet, Harper made her way slowly out of the control room and through the keeper tunnels.  It took her an hour or two to get to an area that she recognized.  It was another hour before she found herself at Tiberius Towers.  The damage to that area of the Citadel wasn’t as bad as she expected.

Getting up to her apartment, Harper treated her wound and then slowly peeled the melted armor off of her body.  She took a hot shower and then found a clean pair of fatigues to wear.  She left her comm and omni-tool in the apartment.  She took a pistol and her credit chit after sending off a quick message from her terminal to someone who owed her a favor.

She was heading out the door when she stopped to leave a note on the glass wall for Zaeed to find when he eventually made it to the apartment.  She told him that she was safe and that she’d be in contact… _eventually_.  She needed some rest and some peace to get it.

The Alliance was likely to use Harper as a _prop_ to encourage people and give them hope in the rebuilding efforts.  She was tired of being nothing more than a _tool_ to be used by the council and the Alliance.  It didn’t matter who her father was.

There was a small dojo outside of Osaka in Japan that offered intensive training in several martial arts disciplines.  More importantly, it was attached to a Buddhist temple that provided healing and private lodging for anyone seeking refuge.  She had met the sensei in charge years ago at a conference.

After a quick text chat, Harper was able to discover that the dojo had made it through the war with little to no damage.  Shiro Nakano promised her that he would prepare a room for her.  They’d have a healer waiting to ensure that her wounds were fine.  He also agreed to keep her being there a secret until she was ready to contact people.

* * *

_From:  Harper_

_To: Dad_

_Subj: Resignation._

_Consider this my request for retirement._

_I’ll be in touch._

_I’m taking that rest that you kept telling me I needed._

_Tell Zaeed that I love him and I left a note for him at my apartment._

_Harper_


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter. *sad face*
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys it.
> 
> I still have a few other stories going. And at some point, I'm going to revisit Darby & Wallace and I have an idea for a MaleShep/Zaeed story. Anyway. Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace & MissMeggo
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

The first three weeks of her time at the compound outside of Osaka, Harper spent most of her days in near isolation.  She sat by a fountain in the middle of a small garden to meditate for hours.  She practiced Tai Chi and slept.

She slept peacefully for the first time in what felt like years.  She closed her eyes at night without being immediately haunted by visions of the dead.  The monks had somehow managed to help her to release the ghosts that had weighed her down for so long.

_Saving the galaxy had helped with that as well._

It was impossible to not feel as if she had redeemed herself in the eyes of the dead.  Harper had talked about it to one of the monks who had simply raised an eyebrow and then shaken his head at her.  The more she thought about it, the more she started to realize that perhaps she hadn’t needed redemption because she shouldn’t have carried the weight of those deaths to begin with.

_Progress._

It occurred to Harper as she sat eating chicken congee early one morning that perhaps she should’ve contacted Zaeed or her Dad at some point.  It was surprising actually that they hadn’t busted down the doors of the dojo by now.  She just couldn’t bring herself to find a terminal since the temple had a strict no extra-net policy. 

_Maybe next week._

“You are avoiding your family.”

Harper froze with the spoon almost had her mouth. She glanced up to find Nakano standing in front of her. “I am.”

“Why?”

“They told me to rest,” Harper shrugged. “I’m resting.”

“That is not the right answer.” He waited calmly and patiently for her to think it over.

“The end of the war was hard on me, and I think maybe I was hard on them in return.” Harper dropped the spoon back into the bowl.  The food in her stomach suddenly felt like a heavy weight. “I’m afraid that they’re going to be angry.  I’m worried that I hurt them.”

“Why would they be angry?”

Harper shook her head with a quiet laugh. “You haven’t met Admiral Hackett or Zaeed Massani.”

“I believe that both men love you very much in their own ways.” He glanced at one of the other tables were a group of young initiates were finishing their own breakfasts.  He finally turned his penetrating gaze back to her. “You are worried that you don’t deserve their care.”

“I…”

“You should think more highly of yourself and of them.  You should also prepare yourself as they will be here tomorrow morning.” He walked away quietly to leave Harper to her suddenly chaotic thoughts.

She was still trying to clear the mostly irrational fears from her mind later that evening in bed.  The large open windows provided her with a great view of the starry night sky as well as a cool breeze that lulled away some of the stress.  She closed her eyes to try to find the calm within and some sleep.

“You _look_ better.”

A gruff voice had her sitting up suddenly in bed to stare at the largest window to the far right.   Her eyes had already adjusted to the dark so she made out the familiar silhouette of the man now standing _inside_ of her room with ease.   In the moonlight, she could tell that he appeared to be wearing jeans and a light long-sleeve t-shirt.

“Hi.” Harper shifted back until she could lean against the headboard of her small bed. “How long have you known where I was?”

“Nakano contacted Hackett the moment that you arrived here to ask us not to hunt you down.  He thought that you needed healing. He thought that you needed rest but wouldn’t get it if you had to worry about pressures from the Alliance and everyone else.” Zaeed took a few steps and sat on the edge of her bed.  He didn’t try to touch her though.   She could feel the intensity of his gaze. “He appears to have been right.”

“I…” Harper toyed with the edge of the light blanket. “I missed you.”

“Why didn’t you goddamn tell me? I would’ve come with you.” Zaeed’s voice held a hard edge to it.

Harper leaned over to flick on the lamp that sat on the table by her bed.  It lit the room in a soft glow.  She blinked a few times before she could see Zaeed’s face clearly.  The faint light in the room cast shadows across him that made him look incredibly tired.   She clenched her fingers around her blanket to keep from reaching out to him.

_Answers first._

“I didn’t want you to come with me.” Harper regretted the choice of words when he seemed to flinch at her words.  He masked it quickly with an angry glare. “I…Zaeed. You wanted me to rest.  I wasn’t going to get a moment of peace if I’d stayed.  You would’ve hovered, my dad would’ve been even worse.  I had to go somewhere that no one would try to _help_ me heal until I was ready. You would’ve pushed and don’t get all angry with me, you know it’s true.”

“Do not do that to me ever fucking again. You hear me, Harper?  Even with your note, until we heard from Nakano, I had this horrible goddamn feeling that you’d died.” Zaeed shifted forward until he was leaning over her.  His hands came up to frame her face.  His fingers brushed her hair out of her face as he looked her over carefully. “Three weeks is a long fucking time with your bloody father.  I deserve a goddamn medal just for putting up with the bastard.”

“And I’m sure you were a _delight_ to be around.” Harper grinned at him.  She finally gave in to the urge to bring her hand up to rest on his shoulder.  She slid her fingers along his t-shirt until they touched his neck.  She lightly scraped a blunt fingernail along the coarse hairs.  “I _really_ missed you.”

“Should’ve bloody thought of that before you left,” he grumbled.

Harper covered his mouth with her fingers. “I’m sorry, Zaeed.”

“I don’t want a bloody apology.” He bit the tip of her finger.

“Then?”

He moved one of his hands to wrap his fingers around her wrist.  Pulling her hand away from his mouth, he leaned down to capture her lips with his own.  Harper slid her free arm around his neck to make it easier to arch up into the kiss.  She’d missed the bastard more than she thought.

“The walls are paper-thin, Zaeed,” Harper cautioned as he started to work his hand underneath the light cotton tank-top that she was sleeping in.

“You’ll have to give me a demonstration in all the goddamn _quiet_ meditation that you’ve been learning.” His calloused fingers glided roughly across her nipple which hardened almost instantly at the touch. “I might’ve fucking missed you too, Sweetheart.”

He apparently decided that no further conversation was necessary.  Making short work of removing both of their clothing, he reacquainted himself _intimately_ with her body.  His fingers touched every inch of her with his lips following close behind until he’d settled between her legs.

_“Zaeed.”_

“Not yet, Sweetheart.” He pulled his lips away from her pussy and moved up over her. “Not until I’m goddamn ready for you to.”

Harper was fairly convinced that she was going to melt into the damn mattress by the time he was ‘goddamn ready.’  She wasn’t entirely certain how they managed to stay as quiet as they did.  Even when he brought her to a second orgasm, she muffled her cries against his shoulder.   His own were drowned in a hard kiss that left them both as breathless as their climaxes had.

“Love you.”

“I love you to but you’re still sneaking your stubborn ass out of that window. I am _not_ being caught by a monk in bed with a naked man.” Harper pushed at his shoulder to get him to move up enough that she didn’t feel crushed. “I’m serious.”

“Cruel hearted woman.” Zaeed was the closest to pouting that Harper could recall seeing him.

“I’ll be here in the morning,” she promised.

“You better bloody be here in the goddamn morning.” Zaeed glared down at her. “I’ll fucking drag you back from wherever you run to.”

“Duly noted.”

He grumbled all the way up to the point that she had to physically shove him out of the window.  She stood to watching him walk away, still muttering angrily under his breath.   She shook her head and laughed at him. Once he was out of sight, she headed into the bathroom attached to her room to shower.

Changing into a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt, she stumbled around until she found her other boot which for some reason was underneath the bed.  She didn’t want to wait until morning to see her Dad.  It was five in the morning and Nakano was already up in preparation for his morning meditations.  He gave her a wry smile before telling her where to find the hotel that the two men were staying at.

It turned out to be a small Alliance depot instead of a hotel.  She used a technique that Kasumi had taught to her to break into the building since she didn’t want to knock.  She followed a light down a hallway into a small kitchen where Hackett was pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“So I uhm…hi.” Harper suddenly wished that she’d just waited until later in the morning to meet him at the temple.

Hackett froze with the pot of coffee in mid-air.  He set it down slowly on the counter and turned towards her. “Hi.”

_Awkward._

“I’m sorry.” She thought the words were inadequate.

He walked towards her with measured pace and finally wrapped his arms around her. “You look as if the weight of the world has finally fallen off of your shoulders.  I’m glad.  I was starting to worry that I had asked too much of you towards the end of the war.  I couldn’t fix it or change it.   I’m just glad that you found someone who could help.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” He leaned back so he could look down at her. “Nakano wants to open a dojo on the Citadel.”

_“Dad.”_

“You’re _officially_ retired.  Why wouldn’t you want to spend your days teaching the martial arts that you love so much?” He let her take a few steps back and returned to sipping his coffee. “Think about it.  I’d like to have you closer so I can see you every once in a while, so I can _be_ a father instead of _an admiral._ ”

“Is Anderson’s apartment still mine?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.” She grinned at him. “Just so we’re clear, I’m doing it for the hot tub.”

 


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos & bookmarks, etc.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace & MissMeggo
> 
> Bioware owns all sadly

“Where’s my daughter?” Hackett walked by Massani without waiting for an invitation or giving him a greeting as he made his way into their Arcturus apartment. He set the bags of Christmas gifts on the nearest sofa and glanced around at the decorations that hadn’t been there the last time he visited the couple. “So? Harper?”

“She’s at the bloody dojo for another hour which you already know.” Zaeed leaned against the edge of the piano and paused to relight his cigar. “Why are you so early?”

“It’s been a while,” Hackett shrugged.

Zaeed’s eyes narrowed on him. “No.”

“No?”

“Whatever bloody thing you want me to help convince Harper to do, no. Not fucking doing it.” Zaeed flicked the ash from his cigar into a small ashtray on top of the piano. “She’s happy. She’s sleeping without nightmares. It’s only been a six months since we got her back. Do you want to risk her running for the bloody hills again? She’s your daughter, you bastard, not some prop you can drag out to lift the spirits of the Alliance whenever you bloody feel like it.”

There was a tense silence in room while the two men glared at each other. Hackett finally lifted his hands in surrender.   He hadn’t intended to ‘drag Harper out’ to anything. He’d simply wanted to honor the work she’d done during the war.

Maybe it was time to let it go.

“Fine.”

Zaeed’s eyes were still narrowed and full of suspicion. “Fine? Just like that? What are you up to?”

“Me?”

“Now I see where Harper gets her inability to lie convincingly.” Zaeed pulled a cigar out of his pocket to toss over to Hackett. “Enjoy it while she’s not here. She gets all out of sorts when she catches me smoking in here.”

“So why do it?”

“Make-up sex.”

Hackett covered his face with his hand for a moment then reached out to catch the lighter Zaeed handed to him. “Mention my daughter in the same sentence as sex again and I’ll knock you on your ass.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Zaeed smirked at him.

“I’m not ruining Christmas for my daughter, not after everything she’s been through.” Hackett frowned at the man. He might not ever completely approve of Harper’s choice in men, but it wasn’t his decision. “How’s she doing?”

“Better.” Zaeed set his cigar done and tapped his fingers against the piano. “She can’t have kids.”

“What?” Hackett stared at the man in shock. “I didn’t…”

“We tried…and she decided to have Chakwas give her a check-up, turns out Cerberus didn’t _upgrade_ everything.” He turned away from Hackett and for once the Admiral couldn’t bring himself to taunt the man. “She’s taking it hard.”

“I had no idea you were…” Hackett thought about the fact that he might have a grandchild. “Is there anything they can do?”

“No.” Zaeed extinguished his cigar in the ashtray, crushing it repeatedly before shoving it away with an angry sigh. “It’s not _impossible_ for us to have one just complicated and difficult.”

“I’m sorry.”

There really wasn’t much else to say and it wasn’t very likely Zaeed _wanted_ sympathy from Hackett in the first place. They sat in uneasy silence for the next twenty minutes until Harper finally arrived. She was panting and out of breath and dropped onto the couch next to her dad like a rock.

“You’re early.” She glanced between the two men. “Have you been playing nicely?”

“No.” Zaeed grinned at her.

“Jackass.” She tilted her head to the side while watching Hackett closely. “He told you. _Zaeed!”_

_“Shit.”_

Harper crossed her arms and glared at both men. “You are both jackasses.”

“I haven’t threatened him yet.” Hackett wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

“That I heard.” She leaned her head against him. “I’m late because I was talking to Doctor Michel.”

“Oh? Are you okay?” Zaeed was at her side instantly, shoving her dad’s arm off of her. “Something happen at the dojo? One of the fucking bastards hit you?”

“More of a Christmas miracle.” Harper took Zaeed’s hand and rested it on her stomach. “Remember the twenty-five percent possibility?”

“Well…shit, Merry Christmas to us.” Zaeed dragged her into his lap, completely ignoring Hackett. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“Why don’t I go work on Christmas dinner and give you two a moment?” Hackett got to his feet and moved toward the kitchen to allow the _parents to be_ some time together. He made it two steps before Harper was in front of him throwing her arms around him for a hug. “Kid?”

“I’m going to give you a grandkid, can’t you let go of the ‘kid’ thing?” She poked him in the side.

“Not a chance.” He rested his hands on her shoulders and eased her back. “You _will_ be taking it easy for the next eight months.”

“Yes, _sir._ ” Harper rolled her eyes. “I love you, dad.”

 

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Always a Good Idea](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3619188) by [Pixelatrix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixelatrix/pseuds/Pixelatrix)




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